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Old 04-20-2009, 06:25 PM   #1
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The funeral procession

A woman was leaving a convenience store with her morning coffee when she
noticed a most unusual funeral procession approaching the nearby cemetery.

A long black hearse was followed by a second long black hearse about 50
feet behind the first one. Behind the second hearse was a solitary woman
walking a pit bull on a leash. Behind her, a short distance back, were about 200 women walking single file.

The woman couldn't stand her curiosity. She respectfully approached the woman walking the dog and said, "I am so sorry for your loss", I know now is a bad time to disturb you, but I've never seen a funeral like this. Whose funeral is it?"

"My husband's."

"What happened to him?"

The woman replied, "My dog attacked and killed him."

She inquired further, "Well, who is in the second hearse?"

The woman answered, "My mother-in-law. She was trying to help my husband when the dog turned on her."

A poignant and thoughtful moment of silence passed between the two women.

"Can I borrow the dog?"

"Get in line."

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Old 04-21-2009, 07:41 AM   #2
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Exclamation Childbirth at 65

With all the new technology regarding fertility,
recently a 65-year-old friend of mine was able to give birth.
When she was discharged from the hospital and went home, I went to visit.

'May I see the new baby?' I asked

'Not yet,' She said 'I'll make coffee and we can visit for a while first.'

Thirty minutes had passed, and I asked, 'May I see the new baby now?'

'No, not yet,' She said.

After another few minutes had elapsed,

I asked again, 'May I see the baby now?'

'No, not yet,' replied my friend.

Growing very impatient, I asked, 'Well, when can I see the baby?'

'WHEN HE CRIES!' she told me.

'WHEN HE CRIES?' I demanded. 'Why do I have to wait until he CRIES?'



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Old 04-21-2009, 08:23 PM   #3
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Both of these are funny. Thanks for sharing.
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Old 04-22-2009, 08:43 AM   #4
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While traveling down lives paths stop to smell the flowers.
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