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Old 01-06-2015, 04:43 PM   #1
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The Grandmother And The Attorney

A small town prosecuting attorney called his first witness to the stand in a trial a grandmotherly, elderly woman. He approached her and asked, "Mrs. Jones, do you know me?"

She responded,why yes I know you Mr. Williams. I've know you since you were a small boy. And frankly you have been a disappointment to me. You lie, you cheat on your wife you manipulate people and talk about them behind their backs.You think you are a rising big shot when haven't the brains to realize you will never amount to anything more than a two-bit paper pusher. Yes I know you.

The lawyer was stunned. Not knowing what else to do he pointed across the room and asked, Mrs. Williams do you know the defense attorney?

She again replied, why yes I do. I've know Mr. Bradley since he was a youngster, too. I used to baby- set him for his parents. And he, to has been a big disappointment to me. He's lazy bigoted, he has a drinking problem. The. Man can't build a normal relationship with anyone and his law practice is the worst. In the state. Not to mention he's cheated on his wife with three different women. Yes, I now him.

The defense was also surprise and shocked. At this point, the judge brought the courtroom to silence and called both the counsellors to the bench.

In a very quite voice, with menace. He said if either of you asked if she knows me, you will be jailed for contempt of court.
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Old 01-06-2015, 06:16 PM   #2
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Old 01-06-2015, 06:24 PM   #3
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O-M-G!!! Did Not See That Coming!!!
Read to DW, she laughed as hard as I did.

Thank You For Such A Treat...
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Old 01-07-2015, 10:09 AM   #4
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Good one Sonny!
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Old 01-07-2015, 10:13 AM   #5
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I like the one with the ME on the stand.. The defense attorney is asking him "Did you check to see if the victim was dead" He answers no he did not as it was not necessary to do so. The Defense asks if he checked for a pulse, (no) if he checked for breathing (no) Pupil dialation (no) So how did you know he was dead?

Well, his brain was sitting in a jar on my desk but I guess he could have been out practicing law somewhere.
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Old 01-10-2015, 09:14 AM   #6
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oh I loved the ME part ::Rofl
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