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Old 12-10-2019, 06:07 PM   #1
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The Joys of Marriage

A woman, cranky because her husband was late coming home again, decided to leave a note, saying; Ive had enough and have left you, so dont bother coming after me. Then she hid under the bed to see his reaction.

After a short while the husband came home. She could hear him in the kitchen before he came into the bedroom. She could see him walk towards the dresser and pick up the note she had written.

After a minute or so, he wrote something on it before picking up the phone and calling someone.

Shes finally gone. Yeah, I know, its about bloody time. Im coming to see you. Put on that sexy French nightie. I love you, and cant wait to see you and do all the naughty things you like.

He hung up, grabbed his keys and left.

She heard the car drive off as she came out from under the bed. Seething with rage and with tears in her eyes, she grabbed the note to see what he had wrote.

I can see your feet under the bed. Were out of bread; be back in 5 minutes.
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Old 12-10-2019, 06:16 PM   #2
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This is hilarious!! Thanks for the laugh!!
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Old 12-10-2019, 06:25 PM   #3
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A man comes home and finds a note on the refrigerator that reads "It's not working and I can't take it any more. I've gone to my moms."

He's perplexed because when he opens the refrigerator the light comes on and his beer is still cold. He can't figure it out.
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Old 12-10-2019, 06:27 PM   #4
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An elderly couple are sitting around the breakfast table and the man says " when I die I want you to sell all my stuff immediately". The woman ask why?

He replies, "your a desirable woman and I'm sure you will remarry and I don't want some azzhole using my stuff".

Her reply was " what makes you think I'll marry another azzhole?"
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Old 12-10-2019, 08:48 PM   #5
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When we married, decades ago, my wife Linda gave me this:
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Old 12-10-2019, 09:06 PM   #6
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This is hilarious!! Thanks for the laugh!!


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Old 12-10-2019, 09:18 PM   #7
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True Story - When I started getting serious with my wife I said to her, "I apologize right now for all the stupid stuff I'm going to do in the future", she said "what kind of stupid stuff", I said back to her "you just have to stick around to find out", this was back in 2012, around March or April of this year (2019) she said to me
"do you remember what you said in 2012 about being sorry for all the stupid stuff you were going to do", I said "yes", she said "I didn't think there was going to be so much stupid stuff". I laughed and told her she was the one to stick around to find that out. She puts up with a lot.
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Old 12-12-2019, 09:56 AM   #8
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It's called Karma!
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Old 12-12-2019, 02:41 PM   #9
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Jokingly told a group of friends at a party that I was going to turn the wife in for two twenties when she turned forty. She did not miss a beat and proclaimed to the group that I was not wired for 220!

True story.
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Old 12-12-2019, 10:40 PM   #10
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Jokingly told a group of friends at a party that I was going to turn the wife in for two twenties when she turned forty. She did not miss a beat and proclaimed to the group that I was not wired for 220!

True story.
That would have to be 240 for me.
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