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Old 03-14-2011, 11:12 PM   #1
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Talking The new European English

The European Commission has just announced an agreement whereby English will be the official language of the European Union rather than German, which was the other possibility.

As part of the negotiations, the British Government conceded that English spelling had some room for improvement and has accepted a 5- year phase-in plan that would become known as "Euro-English".

In the first year, "s" will replace the soft "c". Sertainly, this will make the sivil servants jump with joy. The hard "c" will be dropped in favour of "k". This should klear up konfusion, and keyboards kan have one less letter. There will be growing publik enthusiasm in the sekond year when the troublesome "ph" will be replaced with "f". This will make words like fotograf 20% shorter .

In the 3rd year, publik akseptanse of the new spelling kan be expekted to reach the stage where! more komplikated changes are possible.

Governments will enkourage the removal of double letters which have always ben a deterent to akurate speling.


Also, al wil agre that the horibl mes of the silent "e" in the languag is disgrasful and it should go away.

By the 4th yer people wil be reseptiv to steps such as replasing "th" with "z" and "w" with "v".


During ze fifz yer, ze unesesary "o" kan be dropd from vords kontaining "ou" and after ziz fifz yer, ve vil hav a reil sensibl riten styl.

Zer vil be no mor trubl or difikultis and evrivun vil find it ezi tu understand ech oza. Ze drem of a united urop vil finali kum tru.

Und efter ze fifz yer, ve vil al be speking German like zey vunted in ze forst plas.
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Old 03-15-2011, 06:25 AM   #2
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Question English

They must be kidding. Now - I have to learn English again?
French - English - German.

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Old 03-15-2011, 07:06 AM   #3
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That was a crazy but maybe not completely true story. I did make me giggle though
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Old 03-15-2011, 11:20 AM   #4
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They're also working on EU, politically correct proverbs to replace the older English ones. One I can remember is:

"A male hominid with an inadequate blood-pumping unit is unlikely to win the affection of a beige-complxioned female" will replace "Faint heart never won fair lady".
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Old 03-15-2011, 12:16 PM   #5
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Thanks for the laugh... D
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Old 03-15-2011, 02:27 PM   #6
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I think the subject of this thread needs to be changed to:

"Ve hav vays of making you laugh"

Cause that's what it did.
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Old 03-15-2011, 05:35 PM   #7
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I have one thing to say ...............................HUH?
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Old 03-15-2011, 07:45 PM   #8
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Hey, I have trouble enough with the Tex-Mex and Spanglish.....

Ken
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Old 03-15-2011, 08:21 PM   #9
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Quote:
Originally Posted by TXiceman
Hey, I have trouble enough with the Tex-Mex and Spanglish.....

Ken
Que?
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Old 03-18-2011, 06:05 PM   #10
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I just showed this to my texting savy granddaughter and she understood it, she said thats the way she spells anyway.
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Old 03-18-2011, 09:03 PM   #11
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We'll be interested to meet your senior citizen feline in May, Larry. DW has an interesting sideline as a pet sitter. It's her way of getting her "cat fix" as I don't particularly like cats and we haven't got another one since the last one died of cancer.
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