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03-14-2011, 10:12 PM
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#1
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Senior Member
Tiffin Owners Club
Join Date: Jan 2009
Location: Orange Beach, AL
Posts: 744
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The new European English
The European Commission has just announced an agreement whereby English will be the official language of the European Union rather than German, which was the other possibility.
As part of the negotiations, the British Government conceded that English spelling had some room for improvement and has accepted a 5- year phase-in plan that would become known as "Euro-English".
In the first year, "s" will replace the soft "c". Sertainly, this will make the sivil servants jump with joy. The hard "c" will be dropped in favour of "k". This should klear up konfusion, and keyboards kan have one less letter. There will be growing publik enthusiasm in the sekond year when the troublesome "ph" will be replaced with "f". This will make words like fotograf 20% shorter .
In the 3rd year, publik akseptanse of the new spelling kan be expekted to reach the stage where! more komplikated changes are possible.
Governments will enkourage the removal of double letters which have always ben a deterent to akurate speling.
Also, al wil agre that the horibl mes of the silent "e" in the languag is disgrasful and it should go away.
By the 4th yer people wil be reseptiv to steps such as replasing "th" with "z" and "w" with "v".
During ze fifz yer, ze unesesary "o" kan be dropd from vords kontaining "ou" and after ziz fifz yer, ve vil hav a reil sensibl riten styl.
Zer vil be no mor trubl or difikultis and evrivun vil find it ezi tu understand ech oza. Ze drem of a united urop vil finali kum tru.
Und efter ze fifz yer, ve vil al be speking German like zey vunted in ze forst plas.
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03-15-2011, 05:25 AM
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#2
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Senior Member
Newmar Owners Club Ford Super Duty Owner
Join Date: Sep 2008
Posts: 1,003
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English
They must be kidding. Now - I have to learn English again?
French - English - German.
TW
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03-15-2011, 06:06 AM
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#3
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Senior Member
Monaco Owners Club Texas Boomers Club
Join Date: Feb 2008
Location: Denmark and Spain
Posts: 2,030
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That was a crazy but maybe not completely true story. I did make me giggle though
__________________
The Great Dane
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03-15-2011, 10:20 AM
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#4
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Senior Member
Join Date: Jun 2010
Location: Anacortes, WA (Stick & Brick)
Posts: 2,643
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They're also working on EU, politically correct proverbs to replace the older English ones. One I can remember is:
"A male hominid with an inadequate blood-pumping unit is unlikely to win the affection of a beige-complxioned female" will replace "Faint heart never won fair lady".
__________________
Frank Damp -Anacortes, WA,(DW- Eileen)
ex-pat Brits (1968) and ex-RVers.
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03-15-2011, 11:16 AM
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#5
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Senior Member
Thor Owners Club
Join Date: Dec 2010
Location: Gastonia NC
Posts: 1,320
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Thanks for the laugh... D
__________________
Dickson and Tracy
2016 Thor Windsport 31S
2015 Fusion Titanium Hybrid
Lemon and Tucker the Pups
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03-15-2011, 01:27 PM
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#6
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Senior Member
Damon Owners Club Workhorse Chassis Owner
Join Date: Mar 2009
Posts: 24,024
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I think the subject of this thread needs to be changed to:
"Ve hav vays of making you laugh"
Cause that's what it did.
__________________
Home is where I park it!
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03-15-2011, 04:35 PM
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#7
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Senior Member
Join Date: Mar 2005
Location: where its warmmmmm
Posts: 811
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I have one thing to say ...............................HUH?
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03-15-2011, 06:45 PM
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#8
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Moderator Emeritus
Ford Super Duty Owner
Join Date: Aug 2000
Location: Bryan, TX when not traveling.
Posts: 22,948
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Hey, I have trouble enough with the Tex-Mex and Spanglish.....
Ken
__________________
Amateur Radio Operator (KE5DFR)|No Longer Full-Time! - 2023 Cougar 22MLS toted by 2022 F150, 3.5L EcoBoost Tow Max FX4 Lariat Travel with one Standard Schnauzer and one small Timneh African Gray Parrot, retired mechanical engineer
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03-15-2011, 07:21 PM
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#9
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Senior Member
Oklahoma Boomers Club Fleetwood Owners Club
Join Date: Jan 2011
Posts: 1,801
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Quote:
Originally Posted by TXiceman
Hey, I have trouble enough with the Tex-Mex and Spanglish.....
Ken
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Que?
__________________
Ron & Wendy-Kansas
94 Pace Arrow 34 ft
25 yr Army retired 2006
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03-18-2011, 05:05 PM
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#10
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Senior Member
Monaco Owners Club Holiday Rambler Owners Club
Join Date: Oct 2010
Location: Tulalip, WA
Posts: 946
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I just showed this to my texting savy granddaughter and she understood it, she said thats the way she spells anyway.
__________________
Don't pray for a blessing--Pray to be a blessing.
2006 Holiday Rambler Endavor 40 footer
Tulalip,WA
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03-18-2011, 08:03 PM
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#11
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Senior Member
Join Date: Jun 2010
Location: Anacortes, WA (Stick & Brick)
Posts: 2,643
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We'll be interested to meet your senior citizen feline in May, Larry. DW has an interesting sideline as a pet sitter. It's her way of getting her "cat fix" as I don't particularly like cats and we haven't got another one since the last one died of cancer.
__________________
Frank Damp -Anacortes, WA,(DW- Eileen)
ex-pat Brits (1968) and ex-RVers.
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