The Recession Is So Bad That...

[Possum]

I got a pre-declined credit card in the mail.

Wives are having sex with their husbands because they can't afford batteries.

CEOs are now playing miniature golf.

Exxon-Mobil laid off 25 Congressmen.

A stripper was killed when her audience showered her with rolls of pennies while she danced.

I saw a Mormon polygamist with only one wife.

If the bank returns your check marked "Insufficient Funds," you call them and ask if they meant you or them.

McDonald's is selling the 1/4 ouncer.

Angelina Jolie adopted a child from America.

Parents in Beverly Hills fired their nannies and learned their children's names.

My cousin had an exorcism but couldn't afford to pay for it, and they re-possessed her!

A truckload of Americans was caught sneaking into Mexico.

A picture is now only worth 200 words.

When Bill and Hillary travel together, they now have to share a room.

The Treasure Island casino in Las Vegas is now managed by Somali pirates.

Congress says they are looking into this Bernard Madoff scandal. Oh great!
The guy who made $50 billion disappear is being investigated by the people who made $1.5 trillion disappear!

And, finally...

I was so depressed last night thinking about the economy, wars, jobs, my savings, Social Security, retirement funds, etc., I called the Suicide Hotline. I got a call center in Pakistan, and when I told them I was suicidal, they got all excited, and asked if I could drive a truck.

[two-niner]

And exactly who said Canadians had no sense of humor ?

So, was the truck a Chevy ?

Kerry

[Seajay]

Good laugh there ''Possum'' I needed that ....

God bless our troops ...

[JRNOLL]

Thanks for the laugh.

[Billieg]

Unfortunately it's all true....

[TXiceman]

And just think who we have to thank for this mess....

A bunch or cows is called a herd,
A bunch of geese is called a gaggle.
A bunch of crows is called a Murder.

And finally.....a buch of baboons is called...............
..............
.
..................
...............
.







A CONGRESS of baboons.

It is hard to believe that our forefathers in this country could have such foresight.

Ken

[bucks2]

If it's not progress it must be congress. Yes?