The Smoke Detector Story

[Caveman CBB]

I have a friend (Marcus) that late last summer could not go camping with us. This is a story I wrote to him about a true adventure that happened to me while I was out camping. I exaggerated for theatrical effect. I should add that I do have a weird since of humor so some of you may not like it. Have a nice Day. Caveman



The Smoke Detector Story


So I was out in my camper this weekend. Sunday morning I woke up and let the dog out. I decided to make some toast using the toaster I got off the free rack in town. I put a couple of slices of bread in it and sat down at the table to see what was on TV. I’m still half asleep when suddenly I hear beep beep beep. I mute the TV and look around to see what that noise was.

Then I hear Beep Beep Beep. Well, what ever it is it’s getting louder so I look over at the Carbon Monoxide Detector. I had been running the furnace the night before but, it has never caused the thing to go off before. I notice there is no lights flashing on it and I think this is strange because whenever you push the test button there is a light. BEep-BEep-BEep. Well, this thing is getting kinda loud now, It sounds like it’s coming from the trash can so I pick the can up and look inside it wonder what the hell could possibly be making that noise. BEep-BEep-BEep. OK now I got it. It’s the smoke detector on the ceiling above the trash can and right next to the sink.

When I got this camper last February it still had the original,19 year old, smoke detector in it. When I had it in the shop back then I had put a battery in the detector and had completely forgotten all about it until now. It’s never gone off before. I think about the toaster and look inside it. The bread is starting to look black. I try to pop the toast up manually but, the leaver on the toaster is stuck down. I can’t put my hand on the top of it because that’s where the heat is and I’ll burn myself. So I wiggle the heck out of the leaver causing the whole toaster to jump up and down on the counter but, the burnt bread just isn’t coming out of this darned thing. I reach around and unplug the toaster.

BEEP-BEEP-BEEP. that thing is getting really loud now. I try to get the cover open so I can take the battery out but, after struggling for a couple of seconds the cover stays stuck on there tight. BEEP-BEEP-BEEP. Ow, this is thing is so loud it’s starting to hurt my ears. I put my hand in the shape of a paddle and wave it at the detector trying to move some air over the sensor.

BEEP-BEEP-BEEP. Ok, that plan isn’t working, besides the thought occurs to me that this thing is so loud now that people outside the camper can probley hear it. Soon, there going to come running over, throw open the door of the camper without knocking, and see me standing there in my boxers waving my hand in the air. I realize I look foolish, so I quit doing that.

BEEP-BEEP-BEEP. My smoke detector at home has a button on it that will silence it for a little while if you push it. I see a button on this detector too so I give it a push. Murp-Murp-Murp. OK, well that didn’t work either. It is a just a little-bit quieter but, now it sounds sick. Like a smoke detector with a cold and a sore throat. Well I got to do something quick before the fire department shows up and sprays me down with the dusty stuff that comes in fire extinguishers. I always keep a little fan running in the camper when I sleep for some quiet background noise.

So, I grab my little fan and try to point it at the detector. Just as I get the fan close it quits running. In my rush I had pulled on it too hard, the cord is too short, and it had unplugged from the wall. Murp-Murp-Murp. Problem is the plug is in the wall behind a bunch of stuff. So, I have to move my dirty laundry, move my clean laundry bag, move the screen tent, (That I have been carrying in the camper for 3 years and never once have set up), set the folding lawn chairs off to the side, move the storage tote, and reach around the fishing pole to plug the fan back in.

BEEP-BEEP-BEEP. The detector is back at full volume now. I get the fan running and point it at the detector and,,,, SILANCE. Sweet Golden Silence. The thing finally shut up. I stand there for a few moments holding the fan and it stays silent. I point the fan at the ground and it’s still silent. I got the problem solved. I put the fan back where it belongs. Put the storage tote back, put the folding lawn chairs back, put the screen tent (That I have been carrying in the camper for 3 years and never once have set up) back, put my clean laundry bag back, and kick the dirty laundry back into place.

I fignaggal my burnt toast out of the toaster. Set down at the table reach for the TV remote and then suddenly. BEEP-BEEP-BEEP. It starts up again. I let off a big sigh, and think to myself. “You know if my friend Marcus were here he would stand up, hit the smoke detector with all his might, and put a big hole in my camper ceiling”. Totaling out the camper in the process. I don’t want to do that so I grab the fan again instead. As soon as I point it at the detector it shuts up. So now I’m stuck contemplating how long I have to stand here in my boxers holding this stupid little fan over my head.

Then I get an idea. I put the fan in my left hand at full arms reach as I get down on my knees and with my right hand I move the dirty laundry, move the clean laundry bag, move the screen tent (That I have been carrying in the camper for 3 years and never once have set up) move the folding lawn chairs off to the side, move the storage tote, and reach around the fishing pole to re-route the cord for the fan. This way I now have enough cord to balance the fan face up, precariously on the edge of the counter top where it can blow at the detector. This finally solved the problem.

After Breakfast I took a short nap and let the fan blow. Later on in the day I moved the fan back to it’s usual spot and I haven’t heard a BEEP,, or Murp,, out of that smoke detector since.

[Shadowcatche]

This does however bring up the life expectancy of a smoke alarm which is about 8 years and why not replace with a smoke/CO detector.