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Old 03-25-2007, 07:00 PM   #1
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Join Date: Aug 2005
Location: USA
Posts: 60
Kentucky:



The owner of a golf course in Kentucky was confused about paying an

invoice, so he decided to ask his secretary for some mathematical

help. He called her into his office and said, "You graduated from the

University of Kentucky and I need some help. If I were to give you

$20,000, minus 14%, how much would you take off?"

The secretary thought a moment, and then replied, "Everything but my

earrings."

You gotta love those Kentucky women.

************************************************** ******

Alabama :



A group of Alabama friends went deer hunting and paired off in twos

for the day. That night, one of the hunters returned alone, staggering

under the weight of an eight-point buck.

"Where's Henry?" the others asked.. " Henry had a stroke of some

kind. He's a couple of miles back up the trail," the successful hunter

replied.

"You left Henry laying out there and carried the deer back?" they

inquired.

" A tough call," nodded the hunter. "But I figured no one is going

to steal Henry!"

************************************************** ******************

Louisiana:



A senior at Louisiana was overheard saying... "When the end of the

world comes, I hope to be in Louisiana." When asked why, he replied

he'd rather be in Louisiana because everything happens in Louisiana 20

years later than in the rest of the civilized world.

************************************************** **************

Mississippi:



The young man from Mississippi came running into the store and said

to his buddy, "Bubba, somebody just stole your pickup truck from the

parking lot!"

Bubba replied, "Did you see who it was? "The young man answered, "I

couldn't tell, but I got the license number."

******************* *********************************************

Tennessee:



A Tennessee State trooper pulled over a pickup on I-65. The trooper

asked, "Got any ID?"

The driver replied, "Bout whut?"

************************************************** **************

And My Favorite:



A man in North Carolina had a flat tire, pulled off on the side of

the road, and proceeded to put a bouquet of flowers in front of the

car and one behind it. Then he got back in the car to wait. A passerby

studied the scene as he drove by and was so curious he turned around

and went back. He asked the fellow what the problem was. The man

replied, "I have a flat tire." The passerby asked, "But what's with

the flowers?" The man responded, "When you break down they tell you to

put flares in the front and flares in the back! I never did understand

it neither."

************************************************** ******

You can say what you want about the South, but you never hear of

anyone retiring and moving North!!!
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Old 03-25-2007, 07:00 PM   #2
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Dreamweaver's Avatar
 
Join Date: Aug 2005
Location: USA
Posts: 60
Kentucky:



The owner of a golf course in Kentucky was confused about paying an

invoice, so he decided to ask his secretary for some mathematical

help. He called her into his office and said, "You graduated from the

University of Kentucky and I need some help. If I were to give you

$20,000, minus 14%, how much would you take off?"

The secretary thought a moment, and then replied, "Everything but my

earrings."

You gotta love those Kentucky women.

************************************************** ******

Alabama :



A group of Alabama friends went deer hunting and paired off in twos

for the day. That night, one of the hunters returned alone, staggering

under the weight of an eight-point buck.

"Where's Henry?" the others asked.. " Henry had a stroke of some

kind. He's a couple of miles back up the trail," the successful hunter

replied.

"You left Henry laying out there and carried the deer back?" they

inquired.

" A tough call," nodded the hunter. "But I figured no one is going

to steal Henry!"

************************************************** ******************

Louisiana:



A senior at Louisiana was overheard saying... "When the end of the

world comes, I hope to be in Louisiana." When asked why, he replied

he'd rather be in Louisiana because everything happens in Louisiana 20

years later than in the rest of the civilized world.

************************************************** **************

Mississippi:



The young man from Mississippi came running into the store and said

to his buddy, "Bubba, somebody just stole your pickup truck from the

parking lot!"

Bubba replied, "Did you see who it was? "The young man answered, "I

couldn't tell, but I got the license number."

******************* *********************************************

Tennessee:



A Tennessee State trooper pulled over a pickup on I-65. The trooper

asked, "Got any ID?"

The driver replied, "Bout whut?"

************************************************** **************

And My Favorite:



A man in North Carolina had a flat tire, pulled off on the side of

the road, and proceeded to put a bouquet of flowers in front of the

car and one behind it. Then he got back in the car to wait. A passerby

studied the scene as he drove by and was so curious he turned around

and went back. He asked the fellow what the problem was. The man

replied, "I have a flat tire." The passerby asked, "But what's with

the flowers?" The man responded, "When you break down they tell you to

put flares in the front and flares in the back! I never did understand

it neither."

************************************************** ******

You can say what you want about the South, but you never hear of

anyone retiring and moving North!!!
__________________

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Old 03-26-2007, 03:21 PM   #3
doc
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Location: Dixie !! (north Georgia) USA
Posts: 2,953
Two Alabama state troopers got into a chase with a fast sports car headed east on I-20 toward Atlanta. The sports car was fast, but the Crown Vic driven by the troopers was slowly gaining on it. About half mile ahead of the troopers, the sports car crossed the state line into Georgia. The trooper driving immediately pulled off the road to turn around.
"What the heck are you doing? We were gaining on him", the incredulous partner asked. "We could catch him".
"Naw, no way to catch him now, he's an hour in front of us", replied the driver.

Now I don't usually tell stories that make the LEO types look bad, but since this was told by a senior Sgt. Alabama trooper at a Southern States Law Enforcement convention, I believe it might be OK.
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Old 03-27-2007, 07:23 AM   #4
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Location: Cashiers, NC
Posts: 384
Those were all great, good chuckly for the day.
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Old 03-29-2007, 01:04 PM   #5
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Posts: 1,112
Those were great , keep it coming. Almost fell back out of my home office chair .
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Old 03-29-2007, 06:50 PM   #6
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According to The Cable Guy there is a Dentist in Arkansas who has a discount plan for those with less than 10 teeth. Ken...
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