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03-25-2007, 06:00 PM
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#1
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Member
Join Date: Aug 2005
Location: USA
Posts: 60
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Kentucky:
The owner of a golf course in Kentucky was confused about paying an
invoice, so he decided to ask his secretary for some mathematical
help. He called her into his office and said, "You graduated from the
University of Kentucky and I need some help. If I were to give you
$20,000, minus 14%, how much would you take off?"
The secretary thought a moment, and then replied, "Everything but my
earrings."
You gotta love those Kentucky women.
************************************************** ******
Alabama :
A group of Alabama friends went deer hunting and paired off in twos
for the day. That night, one of the hunters returned alone, staggering
under the weight of an eight-point buck.
"Where's Henry?" the others asked.. " Henry had a stroke of some
kind. He's a couple of miles back up the trail," the successful hunter
replied.
"You left Henry laying out there and carried the deer back?" they
inquired.
" A tough call," nodded the hunter. "But I figured no one is going
to steal Henry!"
************************************************** ******************
Louisiana:
A senior at Louisiana was overheard saying... "When the end of the
world comes, I hope to be in Louisiana." When asked why, he replied
he'd rather be in Louisiana because everything happens in Louisiana 20
years later than in the rest of the civilized world.
************************************************** **************
Mississippi:
The young man from Mississippi came running into the store and said
to his buddy, "Bubba, somebody just stole your pickup truck from the
parking lot!"
Bubba replied, "Did you see who it was? "The young man answered, "I
couldn't tell, but I got the license number."
******************* *********************************************
Tennessee:
A Tennessee State trooper pulled over a pickup on I-65. The trooper
asked, "Got any ID?"
The driver replied, "Bout whut?"
************************************************** **************
And My Favorite:
A man in North Carolina had a flat tire, pulled off on the side of
the road, and proceeded to put a bouquet of flowers in front of the
car and one behind it. Then he got back in the car to wait. A passerby
studied the scene as he drove by and was so curious he turned around
and went back. He asked the fellow what the problem was. The man
replied, "I have a flat tire." The passerby asked, "But what's with
the flowers?" The man responded, "When you break down they tell you to
put flares in the front and flares in the back! I never did understand
it neither."
************************************************** ******
You can say what you want about the South, but you never hear of
anyone retiring and moving North!!!
__________________
It takes thousands of nuts to hold a truck together and only one to scatter it all over the highway.
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03-25-2007, 06:00 PM
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#2
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Member
Join Date: Aug 2005
Location: USA
Posts: 60
|
Kentucky:
The owner of a golf course in Kentucky was confused about paying an
invoice, so he decided to ask his secretary for some mathematical
help. He called her into his office and said, "You graduated from the
University of Kentucky and I need some help. If I were to give you
$20,000, minus 14%, how much would you take off?"
The secretary thought a moment, and then replied, "Everything but my
earrings."
You gotta love those Kentucky women.
************************************************** ******
Alabama :
A group of Alabama friends went deer hunting and paired off in twos
for the day. That night, one of the hunters returned alone, staggering
under the weight of an eight-point buck.
"Where's Henry?" the others asked.. " Henry had a stroke of some
kind. He's a couple of miles back up the trail," the successful hunter
replied.
"You left Henry laying out there and carried the deer back?" they
inquired.
" A tough call," nodded the hunter. "But I figured no one is going
to steal Henry!"
************************************************** ******************
Louisiana:
A senior at Louisiana was overheard saying... "When the end of the
world comes, I hope to be in Louisiana." When asked why, he replied
he'd rather be in Louisiana because everything happens in Louisiana 20
years later than in the rest of the civilized world.
************************************************** **************
Mississippi:
The young man from Mississippi came running into the store and said
to his buddy, "Bubba, somebody just stole your pickup truck from the
parking lot!"
Bubba replied, "Did you see who it was? "The young man answered, "I
couldn't tell, but I got the license number."
******************* *********************************************
Tennessee:
A Tennessee State trooper pulled over a pickup on I-65. The trooper
asked, "Got any ID?"
The driver replied, "Bout whut?"
************************************************** **************
And My Favorite:
A man in North Carolina had a flat tire, pulled off on the side of
the road, and proceeded to put a bouquet of flowers in front of the
car and one behind it. Then he got back in the car to wait. A passerby
studied the scene as he drove by and was so curious he turned around
and went back. He asked the fellow what the problem was. The man
replied, "I have a flat tire." The passerby asked, "But what's with
the flowers?" The man responded, "When you break down they tell you to
put flares in the front and flares in the back! I never did understand
it neither."
************************************************** ******
You can say what you want about the South, but you never hear of
anyone retiring and moving North!!!
__________________
It takes thousands of nuts to hold a truck together and only one to scatter it all over the highway.
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03-26-2007, 02:21 PM
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#3
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Senior Member
Appalachian Campers
Join Date: Sep 2002
Location: Dixie !! (north Georgia) USA
Posts: 4,114
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Two Alabama state troopers got into a chase with a fast sports car headed east on I-20 toward Atlanta. The sports car was fast, but the Crown Vic driven by the troopers was slowly gaining on it. About half mile ahead of the troopers, the sports car crossed the state line into Georgia. The trooper driving immediately pulled off the road to turn around.
"What the heck are you doing? We were gaining on him", the incredulous partner asked. "We could catch him".
"Naw, no way to catch him now, he's an hour in front of us", replied the driver.
Now I don't usually tell stories that make the LEO types look bad, but since this was told by a senior Sgt. Alabama trooper at a Southern States Law Enforcement convention, I believe it might be OK.
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03-27-2007, 06:23 AM
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#4
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Senior Member
Appalachian Campers
Join Date: Oct 2005
Location: Cashiers, NC
Posts: 384
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Those were all great, good chuckly for the day.
__________________
2001 Travel Supreme 36'
Tow 2001 PT Cruiser
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03-29-2007, 12:04 PM
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#5
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Senior Member
Join Date: Dec 2006
Location: Atlanta, GA. , South Beach, FL. Naples, Fl , Coral Gables,FL.
Posts: 1,112
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Those were great , keep it coming. Almost fell back out of my home office chair .
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03-29-2007, 05:50 PM
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#6
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Senior Member
Join Date: Apr 2000
Location: Crossville,TN USA
Posts: 437
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According to The Cable Guy there is a Dentist in Arkansas who has a discount plan for those with less than 10 teeth. Ken...
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