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Old 11-05-2008, 04:54 PM   #1
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Did you ever notice the wide variety of positions people take when they're in the driver's seat? And the wide range of driving styles out there?

When I drive my motor home, I prefer to be close to the steering wheel with the back of the seat straight up no recline whatsoever. This allows me to steer with minimal effort but be ready to wrestle the wheel in the event of a blow out or evasive maneuvers from some slow moving hybrid invading my lane.

RV's invoke one type of driving stereotype. Types of cars, bumper stickers, etc. indicate the type of person you are outside of your car.

After some thought, I have determined a few types of drivers and positions that seem to stand out:

The Guido this driver is usually in a late model sedan. His seat is almost fully reclined but he, for some unknown reason other than wanting to become a future chiropractic patient, leans violently to the right so his head is directly in the center of the car. His left hand is firmly on the 12 o'clock wheel position while his right elbow rests on the center console. Perhaps he feels he gets the best perspective of both sides of the car from that position? Since his hair is usually impeccably groomed, I feel this position allows him to constantly view himself in the rear view mirror. Another speculation is that this lower profile increases his chances of surviving a mob rub-out.

The Chin Perch this is my mother-in-law's favorite driving position. Entire upper body hunched over with chin about 1 inch above the 12 o'clock position of the steering wheel. Forehead about 2 inches from the windshield glass. Two hands holding the steering wheel in a death grip at 10 and 2. Look of annoyed confusion on face think "if these signs were better I wouldn't be lost". Usually traveling at 10-15 miles per hour below the speed limit with stops and turns coming without warning.

Bimbo Diva Cigarette in left hand, cell phone in right hand, mascara in third hand. Steering with knee cap. Shoulder seat belt behind her back because it cuts into her neck and may wrinkle her clothes. No concept of traffic laws or laws of physics. Can manage all the paraphernalia listed above and still manage to flip you the bird! Talk about multi-tasking...

Domestic Terrorist Driver with short cropped beard and glasses. Drives station wagon at the EXACT speed limit regardless of the flow of traffic around him. Hands firmly at 10 and 2 with NPR on the radio. Constantly looks straight ahead without furtive glances in the rear view mirror to make sure he is not being followed. Bumper sticker for no-name presidential candidate from the 1980 election still on car. Quickly exits interstate if any police activity is noticed ahead.

Retiree This one may hit close to home for some of you. Drives at a leisurely pace oblivious to the mass of humanity behind you trying to get to work on time. Drives on the same two lane road every day but still looks around at every house, garage, barn, mailbox, etc. Waves when honked at figuring that someone must know you. If two Retiree' couples are in the car, men will sit together in the front seats while women are relegated to the back seat for knitting and small talk.

Hypocritical Fish religious fish proudly displayed in lower right hand corner of vehicle. Usually accompanied by a dove bumper sticker or some reference to Jesus. As you drive behind this person, you immediately hold them to a higher set of values. You expect them to turn the other cheek' and do unto others...'. But after a few miles, you have seen them break ten traffic laws in addition to the 10 Commandments. You see them point to heaven with the middle digit of both hands. What Would Jesus Do? He wouldn't cut off the slow moving out-of-state car like this disciple just did. Maybe some penance is in order.

The Badge car with large gold police badge on suction cups prominently displayed in back or front windshield. Flashes headlights at slow moving vehicles. Evidently he knows somebody' so he is above the law. Speed limits? For yous guys', not for me...

Thumper before you see the car, you hear a strange sound and think your own car has developed a transmission problem or engine knock. When you finally spot the driver, you realized that this 4-cylinder Toyota Corolla has the Super Bass on his sub-woofer cranked all the way up shattering all ear drums for a 100 foot radius. As the car passes, the stereo thump is replaced by a 5-inch exhaust horn that amplifies the 1500 cc engine sound to the threshold of ear pain. Non-American flag is usually proudly hanging off of rear view mirror...

Homeless back seat of car is filled with cardboard boxes of food and clothes. Inspection sticker expired in the previous century. Usually parked in back of shopping mall at night. Muffler in need of a Midas-cizing'. A shave is in order regardless of the gender of the occupant.

But in the end, it all boils down to an old George Carlin joke:

Did you ever notice that anyone who drives SLOWER than you is an IDIOT,
and anyone who drive FASTER than you is a MANIAC?
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Old 11-05-2008, 04:54 PM   #2
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Join Date: Aug 2008
Location: Florida Keys
Posts: 2,163
Did you ever notice the wide variety of positions people take when they're in the driver's seat? And the wide range of driving styles out there?

When I drive my motor home, I prefer to be close to the steering wheel with the back of the seat straight up no recline whatsoever. This allows me to steer with minimal effort but be ready to wrestle the wheel in the event of a blow out or evasive maneuvers from some slow moving hybrid invading my lane.

RV's invoke one type of driving stereotype. Types of cars, bumper stickers, etc. indicate the type of person you are outside of your car.

After some thought, I have determined a few types of drivers and positions that seem to stand out:

The Guido this driver is usually in a late model sedan. His seat is almost fully reclined but he, for some unknown reason other than wanting to become a future chiropractic patient, leans violently to the right so his head is directly in the center of the car. His left hand is firmly on the 12 o'clock wheel position while his right elbow rests on the center console. Perhaps he feels he gets the best perspective of both sides of the car from that position? Since his hair is usually impeccably groomed, I feel this position allows him to constantly view himself in the rear view mirror. Another speculation is that this lower profile increases his chances of surviving a mob rub-out.

The Chin Perch this is my mother-in-law's favorite driving position. Entire upper body hunched over with chin about 1 inch above the 12 o'clock position of the steering wheel. Forehead about 2 inches from the windshield glass. Two hands holding the steering wheel in a death grip at 10 and 2. Look of annoyed confusion on face think "if these signs were better I wouldn't be lost". Usually traveling at 10-15 miles per hour below the speed limit with stops and turns coming without warning.

Bimbo Diva Cigarette in left hand, cell phone in right hand, mascara in third hand. Steering with knee cap. Shoulder seat belt behind her back because it cuts into her neck and may wrinkle her clothes. No concept of traffic laws or laws of physics. Can manage all the paraphernalia listed above and still manage to flip you the bird! Talk about multi-tasking...

Domestic Terrorist Driver with short cropped beard and glasses. Drives station wagon at the EXACT speed limit regardless of the flow of traffic around him. Hands firmly at 10 and 2 with NPR on the radio. Constantly looks straight ahead without furtive glances in the rear view mirror to make sure he is not being followed. Bumper sticker for no-name presidential candidate from the 1980 election still on car. Quickly exits interstate if any police activity is noticed ahead.

Retiree This one may hit close to home for some of you. Drives at a leisurely pace oblivious to the mass of humanity behind you trying to get to work on time. Drives on the same two lane road every day but still looks around at every house, garage, barn, mailbox, etc. Waves when honked at figuring that someone must know you. If two Retiree' couples are in the car, men will sit together in the front seats while women are relegated to the back seat for knitting and small talk.

Hypocritical Fish religious fish proudly displayed in lower right hand corner of vehicle. Usually accompanied by a dove bumper sticker or some reference to Jesus. As you drive behind this person, you immediately hold them to a higher set of values. You expect them to turn the other cheek' and do unto others...'. But after a few miles, you have seen them break ten traffic laws in addition to the 10 Commandments. You see them point to heaven with the middle digit of both hands. What Would Jesus Do? He wouldn't cut off the slow moving out-of-state car like this disciple just did. Maybe some penance is in order.

The Badge car with large gold police badge on suction cups prominently displayed in back or front windshield. Flashes headlights at slow moving vehicles. Evidently he knows somebody' so he is above the law. Speed limits? For yous guys', not for me...

Thumper before you see the car, you hear a strange sound and think your own car has developed a transmission problem or engine knock. When you finally spot the driver, you realized that this 4-cylinder Toyota Corolla has the Super Bass on his sub-woofer cranked all the way up shattering all ear drums for a 100 foot radius. As the car passes, the stereo thump is replaced by a 5-inch exhaust horn that amplifies the 1500 cc engine sound to the threshold of ear pain. Non-American flag is usually proudly hanging off of rear view mirror...

Homeless back seat of car is filled with cardboard boxes of food and clothes. Inspection sticker expired in the previous century. Usually parked in back of shopping mall at night. Muffler in need of a Midas-cizing'. A shave is in order regardless of the gender of the occupant.

But in the end, it all boils down to an old George Carlin joke:

Did you ever notice that anyone who drives SLOWER than you is an IDIOT,
and anyone who drive FASTER than you is a MANIAC?
__________________

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Tom and Katharine
'07 Winnebago Tour 40TD, 400hp Cummins
'17 Winnebago View 24V, '02 R-Vision B+
RVing for 19 years & 150,000+ miles
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Old 11-05-2008, 11:49 PM   #3
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<BLOCKQUOTE class="ip-ubbcode-quote"><div class="ip-ubbcode-quote-title">quote:</div><div class="ip-ubbcode-quote-content">Originally posted by RVThere:...But in the end, it all boils down to an old George Carlin joke:

Did you ever notice that anyone who drives SLOWER than you is an IDIOT,
and anyone who drive FASTER than you is a MANIAC?
</div></BLOCKQUOTE>Tom...I don't think the terms I use are "idiot" or "maniac" sorry


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Old 11-09-2008, 01:35 PM   #4
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Hey now I resemble some of those remarks lol
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Old 11-10-2008, 09:32 AM   #5
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<BLOCKQUOTE class="ip-ubbcode-quote"><div class="ip-ubbcode-quote-title">quote:</div><div class="ip-ubbcode-quote-content">Originally posted by RVThere:
RV's invoke one type of driving stereotype. Types of cars, bumper stickers, etc. indicate the type of person you are outside of your car.
</div></BLOCKQUOTE>

Hmm.... maybe thats why folks don't tailgate too long after they get close enough to read the NRA sticker on the back of the camper.... They zoom past even faster I guess when they see the shotgun rack hanging in the back window (Which ironically is usually minus any shotguns, but plus two fishing poles)....

Can't tell if they ever shouted anything at me as they went past, Johnny Cash and Jerry Reed tend to drown them out .
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Old 11-10-2008, 06:37 PM   #6
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Pretty much anything is relative...Albert Einstein and George Carlin said the same things using different words.
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