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Old 04-17-2005, 12:25 PM   #1
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Location: Greenwell Springs, LA EBR
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Why do we press harder on a remote control when we know the batteries are dead?

Why do banks charge a fee on "insufficient funds" when they know there is not enough?

Why does someone believe you when you say there are four billion stars, but check when you say the paint is wet?

Why doesn't glue stick to the bottle?

Why do they use sterilized needles for death by lethal injection?

Why doesn't Tarzan have a beard?

Why does Superman stop bullets with his chest, but ducks when you throw a revolver at him?

Why do Kamikaze pilots wear helmets?

Whose idea was it to put an "S" in the word "lisp"?

If people evolved from apes, why are there still apes?

Why is it that no matter what color bubble bath you use the bubbles are always white?

Is there ever a day that mattresses are not on sale?

Why do people constantly return to the refrigerator with hopes that something new to eat will have materialized?

Why do people keep running over a string a dozen times with their vacuum cleaner, then reach down, pick it up, examine it, then put it down to give the vacuum one more chance?

Why is it that no plastic bag will open from the end you first try?

How do those dead bugs get into those enclosed light fixtures?

When we are in the supermarket and someone rams our ankle with a shopping cart then apologizes for doing so, why do we say, "It's all right?" Well, it isn't all right so why don't we say, "That hurt, you stupid idiot?"

Why is it that whenever you attempt to catch something that's falling off the table you always manage to knock something else over?

In winter why do we try to keep the house as warm as it was in summer when we complained about the heat?

How come you never hear father-in-law jokes?

If at first you don't succeed, shouldn't you try doing it like your wife told you to do it?

Why do people walk up to an elavator where you are obviously waiting, and push the button?
Even if they saw you or someone else do it 6 seconds before?

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The statistics on sanity are that one out of every four persons is suffering from some sort of mental illness. Think of your three best friends, if they're okay, then . . . .

(Well I know I'm ok cuz 3 of my best friends are nuttier than a fruitcake!! )
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Old 04-17-2005, 12:25 PM   #2
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Join Date: Jan 2000
Location: Greenwell Springs, LA EBR
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Why do we press harder on a remote control when we know the batteries are dead?

Why do banks charge a fee on "insufficient funds" when they know there is not enough?

Why does someone believe you when you say there are four billion stars, but check when you say the paint is wet?

Why doesn't glue stick to the bottle?

Why do they use sterilized needles for death by lethal injection?

Why doesn't Tarzan have a beard?

Why does Superman stop bullets with his chest, but ducks when you throw a revolver at him?

Why do Kamikaze pilots wear helmets?

Whose idea was it to put an "S" in the word "lisp"?

If people evolved from apes, why are there still apes?

Why is it that no matter what color bubble bath you use the bubbles are always white?

Is there ever a day that mattresses are not on sale?

Why do people constantly return to the refrigerator with hopes that something new to eat will have materialized?

Why do people keep running over a string a dozen times with their vacuum cleaner, then reach down, pick it up, examine it, then put it down to give the vacuum one more chance?

Why is it that no plastic bag will open from the end you first try?

How do those dead bugs get into those enclosed light fixtures?

When we are in the supermarket and someone rams our ankle with a shopping cart then apologizes for doing so, why do we say, "It's all right?" Well, it isn't all right so why don't we say, "That hurt, you stupid idiot?"

Why is it that whenever you attempt to catch something that's falling off the table you always manage to knock something else over?

In winter why do we try to keep the house as warm as it was in summer when we complained about the heat?

How come you never hear father-in-law jokes?

If at first you don't succeed, shouldn't you try doing it like your wife told you to do it?

Why do people walk up to an elavator where you are obviously waiting, and push the button?
Even if they saw you or someone else do it 6 seconds before?

My FAVORITE!!


The statistics on sanity are that one out of every four persons is suffering from some sort of mental illness. Think of your three best friends, if they're okay, then . . . .

(Well I know I'm ok cuz 3 of my best friends are nuttier than a fruitcake!! )
__________________

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Don Fauntleroy (W5IT) 99 F-350 Cab and Chassis with a Herrin Hauler bed now towing a 2006 3612 DS Raptor Toyhauler. 2002 and 2006 National Rally Wagonmaster.
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Old 04-17-2005, 03:27 PM   #3
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Don: interesting, and so true, list.
Rod
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Old 04-17-2005, 05:29 PM   #4
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Why does Teflon stick to the pan?, Ken...
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Old 04-17-2005, 08:11 PM   #5
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Posts: 392
Why....

...do you drive on the parkway and park on the driveway?

... do they have brail instructions on the drive-through ATM?

... do they have a sign on the post office door that states "No dogs allowed, except seeing eye dogs". Who's supposed to read it, the dog or the blind guy.
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Old 04-18-2005, 11:14 AM   #6
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Hummmm....

Only in America.....do drugstores make the sick walk all the way to the back of the store to get their prescriptions while healthy people can buy cigarettes at the front.

Why is lemon juice made with artificial flavor, and dishwashing liquid made with real lemons?

Why is it that doctors call what they do "practice"?

Why is "abbreviated" such a long word?

Why is the man who invests all your money called a broker?

You know that indestructible black box that is used on airplanes? Why don't they make the whole plane out of that stuff?!

Why don't sheep shrink when it rains?

Why are they called apartments when they are all stuck togther?

If con is the opposite of pro, is Congress the opposite of progress?

If flying is so safe, why do they call the airport the terminal?

Why don't you ever see the headline "Psychic Wins Lottery"?

Why women can't put on mascara with their mouth closed? (sorry for that one gals!!).

To be continued????!!!
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