Why did the chicken cross the road?....

[KayLarGo]

Why did the chicken cross the road?....

______________________________________________
DR. PHIL:
The problem we have here is that this chicken won't realize that he
must first deal with the problem on "THIS" side of the road before it
goes after the problem on the "OTHER SIDE" of the road. What we need
to do is help him realize how stupid he's acting by not taking on his
"CURRENT" problems before adding "NEW" problems.
__________________________________________________ _____
OPRAH:
Well I understand that the chicken is having problems, which is why
he wants to cross this road so bad. So instead of having the chicken
learn from his mistakes and take falls, which is a part of life, I'm
g oing to give this chicken a car so that he can just drive across the
road and not live his life like the rest of the chickens.
__________________________________________________
GEORGE W BUSH:
We don't really care why the chicken crossed the road. We just want
to know if the chicken is on our side of the road, or not. The chicken
is either against us, or for us. There is no middle ground here.
_____________________________________________
COLIN POWELL:
Now to the left of the screen, you can clearly see the satellite
image of the chicken crossing the road...
___________________________________________
ANDERSON COOPER - CNN:
We have reason to believe there is a chicken, but we have not yet

been allowed to have access to the other side of the road.
__________________________________________
JOHN KERRY:
Although I voted to let the chicken cross the road, I am now against
it! It was the wrong road to cross, and I was misled about the
chicken's intentions. I am not for it now, and will remain against it.
__________________________________________
NANCY GRACE:
That chicken crossed the road because he's GUILTY! You can see it in
his eyes and the way he walks.
___________________________________________
PAT BUCHANAN:
To steal the job of a decent, hardworking American.
_________________________________________
MARTHA S TEWART:
No one called me to warn me which way that chicken was going. I had a
standing order at the Farmer's Market to sell my eggs when the price
dropped to a certain level. No little bird gave me any insider
information.
_________________________________________
DR SEUSS:
Did the chicken cross the road? Did he cross it with a toad? Yes, the
chicken crossed the road, but why it crossed I've not been told.
_______________________________________
ERNEST HEMINGWAY:
To die in the rain. Alone.
________________________________________
JERRY FALWELL:
Because the chicken was gay! Can't you people see the plain truth in
front o f your face? The chicken was going to the "other side." That's
why they call it the "other side." Yes, my friends, that chicken is
gay. And if you eat that chicken, you will become gay too. I say we
boycott all chickens until we sort out this abomination that the
liberal media whitewashes with seemingly harmless phrases like "the
other side." That chicken should not be crossing the road. It's as
plain and as simple as that.
______________________________________________
GRANDPA:
In my day we didn't ask why the chicken crossed the road. Somebody
told us the chicken crossed the road, and that was good enough.
__________________________________________
BARBARA WALTERS:
Isn't that interesting? In a few moments, we will be listening to the
chicken tell, for the first time, the heart warming story of how it
experienced a serious case of molting, and went on to accomplish its
life long dream of crossing the road.
___________________________________________
JOHN LENNON:
Imagine all the chickens in the world crossing roads together, in peace.
____________________________________________
ARISTOTLE:
It is the nature of chickens to cross the road.
____________________________________________
BILL GATES:
I have just released eChicken 2005, which will not only cross roads, but
will lay eggs, file your important documents, and balance your check
book. Internet Explorer is an integral part of eChicken. This new
platform is much more stable and will never cra...#@&&^( C \ ...
reboot.
______________________________________________
ALBERT EINSTEIN:
Did the chicken really cross the road, or did the road move beneath the chicken?
______________________________________________
BILL CLINTON:
I did not cross the road with THAT chicken. What is your definition of chicken?
______________________________________________
AL GORE:
I invented the chicken!
______________________________________________
COLONEL SANDERS:
Did I miss one?
______________________________________________
DICK CHENEY:
Where's my gun?

[KayLarGo]

Why did the chicken cross the road?....

______________________________________________
DR. PHIL:
The problem we have here is that this chicken won't realize that he
must first deal with the problem on "THIS" side of the road before it
goes after the problem on the "OTHER SIDE" of the road. What we need
to do is help him realize how stupid he's acting by not taking on his
"CURRENT" problems before adding "NEW" problems.
__________________________________________________ _____
OPRAH:
Well I understand that the chicken is having problems, which is why
he wants to cross this road so bad. So instead of having the chicken
learn from his mistakes and take falls, which is a part of life, I'm
g oing to give this chicken a car so that he can just drive across the
road and not live his life like the rest of the chickens.
__________________________________________________
GEORGE W BUSH:
We don't really care why the chicken crossed the road. We just want
to know if the chicken is on our side of the road, or not. The chicken
is either against us, or for us. There is no middle ground here.
_____________________________________________
COLIN POWELL:
Now to the left of the screen, you can clearly see the satellite
image of the chicken crossing the road...
___________________________________________
ANDERSON COOPER - CNN:
We have reason to believe there is a chicken, but we have not yet

been allowed to have access to the other side of the road.
__________________________________________
JOHN KERRY:
Although I voted to let the chicken cross the road, I am now against
it! It was the wrong road to cross, and I was misled about the
chicken's intentions. I am not for it now, and will remain against it.
__________________________________________
NANCY GRACE:
That chicken crossed the road because he's GUILTY! You can see it in
his eyes and the way he walks.
___________________________________________
PAT BUCHANAN:
To steal the job of a decent, hardworking American.
_________________________________________
MARTHA S TEWART:
No one called me to warn me which way that chicken was going. I had a
standing order at the Farmer's Market to sell my eggs when the price
dropped to a certain level. No little bird gave me any insider
information.
_________________________________________
DR SEUSS:
Did the chicken cross the road? Did he cross it with a toad? Yes, the
chicken crossed the road, but why it crossed I've not been told.
_______________________________________
ERNEST HEMINGWAY:
To die in the rain. Alone.
________________________________________
JERRY FALWELL:
Because the chicken was gay! Can't you people see the plain truth in
front o f your face? The chicken was going to the "other side." That's
why they call it the "other side." Yes, my friends, that chicken is
gay. And if you eat that chicken, you will become gay too. I say we
boycott all chickens until we sort out this abomination that the
liberal media whitewashes with seemingly harmless phrases like "the
other side." That chicken should not be crossing the road. It's as
plain and as simple as that.
______________________________________________
GRANDPA:
In my day we didn't ask why the chicken crossed the road. Somebody
told us the chicken crossed the road, and that was good enough.
__________________________________________
BARBARA WALTERS:
Isn't that interesting? In a few moments, we will be listening to the
chicken tell, for the first time, the heart warming story of how it
experienced a serious case of molting, and went on to accomplish its
life long dream of crossing the road.
___________________________________________
JOHN LENNON:
Imagine all the chickens in the world crossing roads together, in peace.
____________________________________________
ARISTOTLE:
It is the nature of chickens to cross the road.
____________________________________________
BILL GATES:
I have just released eChicken 2005, which will not only cross roads, but
will lay eggs, file your important documents, and balance your check
book. Internet Explorer is an integral part of eChicken. This new
platform is much more stable and will never cra...#@&&^( C \ ...
reboot.
______________________________________________
ALBERT EINSTEIN:
Did the chicken really cross the road, or did the road move beneath the chicken?
______________________________________________
BILL CLINTON:
I did not cross the road with THAT chicken. What is your definition of chicken?
______________________________________________
AL GORE:
I invented the chicken!
______________________________________________
COLONEL SANDERS:
Did I miss one?
______________________________________________
DICK CHENEY:
Where's my gun?

[JB Texas]

Or just to show the Armadillo thet it COULD be done....

[Medorg]

Maybe it had some C4 and a Contact detonator on its back, and didnt care if it got to the other side or not..

[You say Redneck like it is a bad thing]

Who cares??? catch him, fry him up with some corn on the cob and fried taters and lets eat!

[ItstheTrip]

LAPD: "Give us 5 minutes with the chicken and we'll find out."

[Timetraveler]

To get to the other side.