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Old 04-18-2013, 09:17 AM   #1
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Why some men have a dog and no wife

Ladies, I know, obviously written by a man....

Why Some Men Have a Dog And No Wife:
1. The later you are, the more excited your dogs are to see you.
2. Dogs don't notice if you call them by another dog's name.
3. Dogs like it if you leave a lot of things on the floor.
4. A dog's parents never visit.
5. Dogs agree that you have to raise your voice to get your point across.
6. Dogs find you amusing when you're drunk.
7. Dogs like to go hunting and fishing.
8. A dog will not wake you up at night to ask, "If I died, would you get another dog?"
9. If a dog has babies, you can put an ad in the paper and give them away.
10.. A dog will let you put a studded collar on it without calling you a pervert.
11.. If a dog smells another dog on you, they don't get mad. They just think it's interesting.

And last... but not least:

12. If a dog leaves, it won't take half of your stuff.

To test this theory:
Lock your wife and your dog in the garage for an hour. Then open it and see who's happy to see you.
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Old 04-18-2013, 09:27 AM   #2
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ONLY a jar head has the guts to post something like this. My dear wife is way to good with a 9mm to say something like that. I could get shot where it would really hurt!

Somepoints are good, my dog got cold with the snow that showed up in mn and actually jumped up on the bed which she never does....
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Old 04-18-2013, 09:39 AM   #3
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I'm guessing that your wife does not visit the forum.
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Old 04-18-2013, 09:57 AM   #4
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so perfectly true.
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Old 04-18-2013, 10:28 AM   #5
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Quote:
Originally Posted by dlovitt View Post
I'm guessing that your wife does not visit the forum.
She has an iPad. She looks at all MY posts, and also others as she sees fit. She get's even in "other" ways.
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Old 04-18-2013, 10:36 AM   #6
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Wayne - you and Earlene are a matched set from all I have gathered. You are blessed to have each other. And I'm sticking with that. Thanks for the email last night on the West, Tx tragedy. Right at 100 miles from us. We have stopped there many times and attend the West Fest a number of times. A great Texas / Czech community. Heart goes out to them. Sorry for brief hijack.

Loved the garage ending. So true.
Steve and Annie
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Old 04-18-2013, 10:41 AM   #7
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This reminds me of an old country song:

It's Hard To Kiss The Lips At Night That Chew Your Ass Ou... - YouTube


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Old 04-18-2013, 11:37 AM   #8
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ha ha that Vince Gill is the funniest Okie around.
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Old 04-18-2013, 02:03 PM   #9
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Dupdyke View Post
My dear wife is way to good with a 9mm to say something like that. I could get shot where it would really hurt!
She's that good at hitting small targets is what you're really trying to say.
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Old 04-18-2013, 04:50 PM   #10
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I have 2 dogs and no wife do I have it twice as good.
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Old 04-18-2013, 05:06 PM   #11
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Dupdyke View Post
ONLY a jar head has the guts to post something like this. My dear wife is way to good with a 9mm to say something like that. I could get shot where it would really hurt!

Somepoints are good, my dog got cold with the snow that showed up in mn and actually jumped up on the bed which she never does....
Quote:
Originally Posted by Possum View Post
She's that good at hitting small targets is what you're really trying to say.
Possum,
That was funnier than the OP! ROFLMAO, and he deserves it.
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Old 04-18-2013, 09:07 PM   #12
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Can't imagine what it would be like after the hour was up and you let Earlene out of the garage. I suggest using the garage door opener from inside a locked car.
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Old 04-18-2013, 09:54 PM   #13
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Bullets will penetrate a car.
Better use the door opener from the street, then haul ass.
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Old 04-18-2013, 10:05 PM   #14
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I never taught her how to shoot.

Wait a minute, she's a Marine.

Oh darn!
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