Go Back   iRV2 Forums > CAMPING, TRAVEL and TRIP PLANNING > RV'ing Humor & Crazy but True Stories
Click Here to Login
Join iRV2 Today

Mission Statement: Supporting thoughtful exchange of knowledge, values and experience among RV enthusiasts.
Reply
 
Thread Tools Search this Thread Display Modes
 
Old 01-19-2015, 07:33 AM   #1
Senior Member
 
Country Coach Owners Club
Join Date: Jan 2011
Posts: 928
Workshop tools, redefined

WORKSHOP TOOLS, REDEFINED

DRILL PRESS:
A tall upright machine useful for suddenly snatching flat metal bar stock out of your hands
so that it smacks you in the chest and flings your beer across the room, denting the freshly-painted project which you had carefully set in the corner where nothing could get to it.

WIRE WHEEL:
Cleans paint off bolts and then throws them somewhere under the workbench with the speed of light.
Also removes fingerprints and hard-earned calluses from fingers in about the time it takes you to say, 'Oh sh --'

SKIL SAW:
A portable cutting tool used to make studs too short.

PLIERS:
Used to round off bolt heads. Sometimes used in the creation of blood-blisters.

BELT SANDER:
An electric sanding tool commonly used to convert minor touch-up jobs into major refinishing jobs.

HACKSAW:
One of a family of cutting tools built on the Ouija board principle... It transforms human energy into a crooked,
unpredictable motion, and the more you attempt to influence its course, the more dismal your future becomes.

VISE-GRIPS:
Generally used after pliers to completely round off bolt heads. If nothing else is available,
they can also be used to transfer intense welding heat to the palm of your hand.

OXYACETYLENE TORCH:
Used almost entirely for lighting various flammable objects in your shop on fire.
Also handy for igniting the grease inside the wheel hub out of which you want to remove a bearing race..

TABLE SAW:
A large stationary power tool commonly used to launch wood projectiles for testing wall integrity.

HYDRAULIC FLOOR JACK:
Used for lowering an automobile to the ground after you have installed your new brake shoes,
trapping the jack handle firmly under the bumper.

BAND SAW:
A large stationary power saw primarily used by most shops to cut good aluminum sheet into smaller pieces
that more easily fit into the trash can after you cut on the inside of the line instead of the outside edge.

TWO-TON ENGINE HOIST:
A tool for testing the maximum tensile strength of everything you forgot to disconnect.

PHILLIPS SCREWDRIVER:
Normally used to stab the vacuum seals under lids or for opening old-style paper-and-tin oil cans
and splashing oil on your shirt; but can also be used, as
the name implies, to strip out Phillips screw heads.

STRAIGHT SCREWDRIVER:
A tool for opening paint cans. Sometimes used to convert common slotted screws
into non-removable screws and butchering your palms.

PRY BAR:
A tool used to crumple the metal surrounding that clip or bracket you needed to remove in order to replace a 50 cent part.

HOSE CUTTER:
A tool used to make hoses too short.

HAMMER:
Originally employed as a weapon of war, the hammer nowadays is used as a kind of divining rod
to locate the most expensive parts adjacent to the object we are trying to hit.

UTILITY KNIFE:
Used to open and slice through the contents of cardboard cartons delivered to your front door;
works particularly well on contents such as seats, vinyl records, liquids in plastic bottles, collector magazines,
refund checks, and rubber or plastic parts. Especially useful for slicing work clothes, but only while in use.

Son of a b..... TOOL:
Any handy tool that you grab and throw across the garage while yelling 'Son of a b....' at the top of your lungs.
It is also, most often, the next tool that you will need.
__________________

__________________
pumper9x9 is offline   Reply With Quote
Join the #1 RV Forum Today - It's Totally Free!

iRV2.com RV Community - Are you about to start a new improvement on your RV or need some help with some maintenance? Do you need advice on what products to buy? Or maybe you can give others some advice? No matter where you fit in you'll find that iRV2 is a great community to join. Best of all it's totally FREE!

You are currently viewing our boards as a guest so you have limited access to our community. Please take the time to register and you will gain a lot of great new features including; the ability to participate in discussions, network with other RV owners, see fewer ads, upload photographs, create an RV blog, send private messages and so much, much more!

Old 01-19-2015, 08:41 AM   #2
Senior Member
 
Join Date: Aug 2001
Location: FL
Posts: 1,314
Reminds me of Murphy's Law as related to workshops: Whatever you drop will always roll to the most inaccessible location.
__________________

__________________
--2005 F350 Superduty Crewcab, 6.0, 4wd, short bed, 3.73 gears
--2016 Montana 3711FL, 40'
--SOLD 2014 Wildcat 327CK, 38'
ralphie is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 01-19-2015, 11:45 AM   #3
Senior Member
 
denlock's Avatar
 
Newmar Owners Club
Spartan Chassis
Join Date: Feb 2005
Location: Sterling Heights, MI
Posts: 2,723
Pretty good, and true!
__________________
Tricia & Dennis Lockhart
2010 Ventana 4333
Spartan MM w/Cummins 360 ISC
denlock is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 01-28-2015, 08:59 AM   #4
Member
 
hoakken's Avatar
 
Join Date: Aug 2014
Location: Fort Worth, TX
Posts: 87
I absolutely must us this in my tool lessons for my 9th grade auto class! Too funny. Problem is that they will think it's true.
__________________
hoakken is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 02-06-2015, 07:34 PM   #5
Member
 
Grog's Avatar
 
Join Date: Dec 2011
Location: Columbia MO.
Posts: 72
Don't forget dropping the last ball bearing as you reassemble something just as the parts stores close. try as you will that ball bearing will vanish into thin air no matter how clean (or dirty) your shop is. I swear they bounce farther than a super ball does!
__________________
Grog is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 02-06-2015, 08:03 PM   #6
Senior Member
 
Ford Super Duty Owner
Join Date: Jan 2011
Location: Lowell, Arkansas
Posts: 4,682
That's the same list of hand and power tools used on the DIY shows. Only difference is we NEVER, NEVER see the 14 retakes they needed before they finally got one they could air on national TV.

That's my favorite expression when working most anywhere around the house. "It never works that way on DIY."

Great list

EZ-Out - A gizmo used to remove a broken bolt that NEVER, NEVER works. Should be renamed a HARD-OUT!!

TeJay
__________________
TeJay Auto Instructor/4-yrs USAF/ Liz: RN/ WBGO 2014 Vista 30T/ F-53/CHF/5-Star/Koni * Bella & Izzy * Golden /Cocker mix/ Louie The Cat* All Retired
TeJay is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 02-07-2015, 10:01 AM   #7
Senior Member/RVM #90
 
MSHappyCampers's Avatar


 
Monaco Owners Club
Join Date: Nov 2002
Location: Columbus, MS
Posts: 26,266
__________________
Joe & Annette

2002 Monaco Windsor 40PBT, 2013 Honda CRV AWD
MSHappyCampers is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 02-07-2015, 07:35 PM   #8
Senior Member
 
Ray,IN's Avatar
 
Join Date: Aug 2001
Location: North America somewhere
Posts: 13,688
Quote:
Originally Posted by TeJay View Post
That's the same list of hand and power tools used on the DIY shows. Only difference is we NEVER, NEVER see the 14 retakes they needed before they finally got one they could air on national TV.

That's my favorite expression when working most anywhere around the house. "It never works that way on DIY."

Great list

EZ-Out - A gizmo used to remove a broken bolt that NEVER, NEVER works. Should be renamed a HARD-OUT!!

TeJay
An EZ-OUT is so-named because; if the bolts does not come out EZ -you go OUT to buy a new part.
Ever remove an EZ-OUT from inside a bolt? It is done all the time, using an Elecrostatic-Discharge machine. Every good machine shop has one. It works somewhat like a cutting rod for an arc-welder, only in one spot.
__________________
2000 Winnebago Ultimate Freedom USQ40JD, ISC 8.3 Cummins 350, Spartan MM Chassis. USA 1SG, retired;PPA,Good Sam Life member,FMCA."We the people are the rightful masters of both the Congress and the Courts - not to overthrow the Constitution but to overthrow men who pervert the Constitution. "Abraham Lincoln"
Ray,IN is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 02-08-2015, 10:04 AM   #9
Senior Member
 
Ford Super Duty Owner
Join Date: Jan 2011
Location: Lowell, Arkansas
Posts: 4,682
RAY,IN,
Never had access to an EDM in the auto shop but I am familiar with them. I have tried using high heat to destroy the hardened/broken EZ-OUT or TAP but then usually had to enlarge the hole and re-thread it. Or as you suggested to go OUT and buy a new part.

The man that dies with the most TOOLS is the WINNER!!

OFF TOPIC!!
Speaking of weird things. Yesterday I machined my TOAD rotors. During the machining I saw sparks while cutting. Both rotors had hardened areas & I had to replace them. I HAVE NEVER EVER SEEN HARDENED ROTORS and I've machined thousands of rotors.

TeJay
__________________
TeJay Auto Instructor/4-yrs USAF/ Liz: RN/ WBGO 2014 Vista 30T/ F-53/CHF/5-Star/Koni * Bella & Izzy * Golden /Cocker mix/ Louie The Cat* All Retired
TeJay is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 02-08-2015, 11:15 AM   #10
Senior Member
 
Bumps's Avatar
 
Winnebago Owners Club
Join Date: Sep 2013
Location: FTer Class of 2015 Origin: Evergreen, Colorado
Posts: 1,536
Too funny (...unfortunately). Thanks for sharing! \ken
__________________
Ken & Deb (WIT Club, FMCA, SKP, Harvest Hosts, and grateful volunteers with SOWERs)
2005 Winnebago Vectra 40FD w/400ISL and Allison 3000MH on Freightliner's Evolution chassis, Onan QD7500, 1000w Renogy solar, BlueOx tow gear, and 2015 Cherokee TrailHawk toad.
[SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]
Bumps is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 02-10-2015, 10:13 PM   #11
Senior Member
 
Ray,IN's Avatar
 
Join Date: Aug 2001
Location: North America somewhere
Posts: 13,688
#1. One time I was walking through the machine shop at work, just happened to look to my right in time to see a guy running a drill press(he was wearing gloves because the shavings were flying and cutting his hand) jerk his hand away. The glove he was wearing was gone, and so were 3 fingers. He said he was trying to keep up with time-study rate.
__________________
2000 Winnebago Ultimate Freedom USQ40JD, ISC 8.3 Cummins 350, Spartan MM Chassis. USA 1SG, retired;PPA,Good Sam Life member,FMCA."We the people are the rightful masters of both the Congress and the Courts - not to overthrow the Constitution but to overthrow men who pervert the Constitution. "Abraham Lincoln"
Ray,IN is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 02-10-2015, 11:24 PM   #12
Senior Member
 
guardrail53's Avatar


 
Monaco Owners Club
Vintage RV Owners Club
Join Date: Sep 2014
Location: anywhere U.S.A, Currently back home in Thailand!
Posts: 2,078
Quote:
Originally Posted by ralphie View Post
Reminds me of Murphy's Law as related to workshops: Whatever you drop will always roll to the most inaccessible location.
When working on my MH or semi, one of the first tools I would grab was the 4' handle magnet! My son looked funny at me one day when we were heading out of the shop to my semi to work on the exhaust, and as going out the door I grabbed it. I smiled, and said you'll see! The first wrench I dropped went under the truck where you could not reach it, grabbed the magnet, clink, wrench back in my hand! He smiled, ohhhhhhh! Rail!
__________________
Retired, and "Always on Holiday!"
1996 Monaco Windsor 38PB, "Mona" 275 HP., 8.3 Cummins, 3060 Allison 6 speed, 2001 PT Cruiser, "Bailey"
guardrail53 is online now   Reply With Quote
Old 02-11-2015, 09:07 AM   #13
Senior Member
 
Mike_Harriet's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2013
Posts: 776
Had a great friend give me a gift recently. An LED flashlight with an extension magnet that comes out of the middle of the lens. BRILLIANT! ! I've used it three times in 2 days ,love it!
__________________

__________________
Mike_Harriet is offline   Reply With Quote
Reply



Currently Active Users Viewing This Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)
 
Thread Tools Search this Thread
Search this Thread:

Advanced Search
Display Modes

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are Off
Pingbacks are Off
Refbacks are Off


Similar Threads
Thread Thread Starter Forum Replies Last Post
Lend Personal Tools? Dog Folks Workkamping & Volunteering 21 10-26-2014 12:10 PM
Tools for greasing your XC chassis mchero Freightliner Motorhome Chassis Forum 8 07-26-2014 05:00 PM
Workshop Manual Juddjan Fleetwood Products Owner's Forum 1 06-28-2014 07:45 AM
Packing List for Tools? pglasl MH-General Discussions & Problems 25 03-28-2014 09:02 PM
Air Tools Advice safehaven Tiffin Motorhomes Owners Forum 7 01-21-2014 06:54 PM

» Virginia Campgrounds

Reviews provided by


Copyright 2002- Social Knowledge, LLC All Rights Reserved.

All times are GMT -6. The time now is 08:41 PM.


Powered by vBulletin® Version 3.8.8 Beta 1
Copyright ©2000 - 2017, vBulletin Solutions, Inc.