You will really have to go out of your way to miss NJ, but you can miss the NY city area. We travel to the Outer Banks of NC to see our daughter regularly and our route from near Worcester would link with what I would recommend for you. Take 91 to 691 west to 84 west, to 684 south and then look for signs for the Tappan Zee Bridge. After that, follow signs to the Garden State Parkway, to the NJ Turnpike, and once across the Delaware Memorial Bridge, look for 13 south. This will take you down the DelMarVa pennisula to the Chesapeake Bay Bridge. After crossing the bridge, just look for signs to Virginia Beach. We have never had any real problems with traffic. Until you get out of NJ, it ain't pretty and there are tolls, but it is the shortest route. If you have a Fast Lane(EZ Pass) it works on your entire route.
One note - if you don't like the idea of the Tappan Zee Bridge and being that close to NYC, stay on 84 to Newburgh, NY, take the NY Thruway south to 287 whch will put you right on the NJ Turnpike below Newark.
Travel safe and have a great trip.
Neil, Lin, and our furry companions, Ashby and Cody. 06 National Surf Side.