First even the smallest hybrid (16') would be 2900lbs. dry, add an easy 750+lbs of stuff and your over the towing capacity of the Odyssey. The V-6 Pilot 4x4 is rated at 4500 towing. The 2x4 Pilot is only rated at 3500 lbs. So right there and then the 4x4 is going to push you well over $30k closer to $35k.
With your two tow vehicle choices your kind of limiting your hybrid choices as far as weight. With taxes and fees there is no way even with a base Honda you will be able walk out the door under $30k.
Yes, the Pilot is a nice daily driver and would make a acceptable tow vehicle only if you find a RV (hybrid) in the low 3000 range and a hitch weight under under 350 lbs.
We towed our 2005 & and our 2013
hybrids with a 2005 Toyota 4Runner (V-8). But since have moved up to a Toyota Tundra. Used the 4Runner for 9 seasons. The 2005 tt weighed about 4800 wet (loaded) and the 2013 tt comes in at 5100 lbs. That 4Runner was rated at 7200 towing. Even the 5100 tt. I would want to go and larger that the 26' tt.
A 3,000 pound trailer is going to be fairly small and you may like a little bigger unit.
I would agree 100% personally a 16' or 17' hybrid is small. There are some nice hybrid floor plans out there in the 22' to 25' with a slide that doubles the inside space. Remember you want to do some extended trips. Hybrids under 20' will not have a couch.
Our 2005 hybrid
being 24' had a super floor plan, tons of counter space, tons of cabinet storage, small couch slide really opened up the whole aisle-way. We take many 14-18 day trips staying 4-7 days at each location. I think we had 380 nights in our 05' over 7 seasons. Even on rainy days the 3 of us did not feel cramped.