New Dreaded Virus-You May Already Be Infected!

[WWFan]

There is a dangerous virus being passed around electronically, orally, and by hand. This virus is called Worm-Overload Recreational-Killer (WORK).

If you receive WORK from any of your colleagues, your boss, or anyone else via any means DO NOT TOUCH IT. This virus will wipe out your private life completely.

If you should come into contact with WORK put your jacket on and take two good friends to the nearest grocery store. Purchase the antidote known as Work-Isolating-Neutralizer-Extract (WINE) or Bothersome-Employer-Elimination-Rebooter (BEER). Take the antidote repeatedly until WORK has been completely eliminated from your system.

You should forward this warning to 5 friends. If you do not have 5 friends, you have already been infected and WORK is controlling your life.

[WWFan]

There is a dangerous virus being passed around electronically, orally, and by hand. This virus is called Worm-Overload Recreational-Killer (WORK).

If you receive WORK from any of your colleagues, your boss, or anyone else via any means DO NOT TOUCH IT. This virus will wipe out your private life completely.

If you should come into contact with WORK put your jacket on and take two good friends to the nearest grocery store. Purchase the antidote known as Work-Isolating-Neutralizer-Extract (WINE) or Bothersome-Employer-Elimination-Rebooter (BEER). Take the antidote repeatedly until WORK has been completely eliminated from your system.

You should forward this warning to 5 friends. If you do not have 5 friends, you have already been infected and WORK is controlling your life.

[Naykid]

R.O.T.F.L.M.F.A.O.

[WaveMaker]

hehehehehehe

[SAS!]

WOW, I'M INFECTED!

The doctor told me it was an unknown Ailment and there was no cure short of Wasted-Intoxicated-Nights & Long-Overdue-Therapy-To Overcome (win lotto)....

[Crime Pays]

one more..........

Wife 1.0 Software

Dear Tech Support:
Last year I upgraded from Girlfriend 7.0 to Wife 1.0. I soon noticed that the new program began unexpected child processing that took up a lot of space and valuable resources.
In addition, Wife 1.0 installed itself into all other programs and now monitors all other system activity.
Applications such as Poker Night 10.3, Football 5.0, Hunting and Fishing 7.5, and Racing 3.6 no longer run, crashing the system whenever selected. I can't seem to keep Wife 1.0 in the background while attempting to run my favorite applications. I'm thinking about going back to Girlfriend 7.0, but the uninstall doesn't work on Wife 1.0.
Please help!

Thanks,

A Troubled User.



REPLY:
Dear Troubled User:
This is a very common problem that men complain about.
Many people upgrade from Girlfriend 7.0 to Wife 1.0, thinking that it is just a Utilities and Entertainment program.
Wife 1.0 is an OPERATING SYSTEM and is designed by its Creator to run EVERYTHING!!! It is also impossible to delete Wife 1.0 and to return to Girlfriend 7.0. It is impossible to uninstall, or purge the program files from the system once installed.
You cannot go back to Girlfriend 7.0 because Wife 1.0 is designed to not allow this.
Look in your Wife 1.0 manual under Warnings-Alimony/Child Support." I recommend that you keep Wife1.0 and work on improving the situation. I suggest installing the background application "Yes Dear" to alleviate software augmentation.
The best course of action is to enter the command C: .. APOLOGIZE. Because ultimately you will have to give the APOLOGIZE command before the system will return to normal anyway.
Wife 1.0 is a great program, but it tends to be very high maintenance. Wife 1.0 comes with several support programs, such as Clean and Sweep 3.0, Cook It 1.5 and Do Bills 4.2.
However, be very careful how you use these programs. Improper use will cause the system to launch the program Nag Nag 9.5. Once this happens, the only way to improve the performance of Wife 1.0 is to purchase additional software. I recommend Flowers 2.1 and Diamonds 5.0 !
WARNING!!!
DO NOT, under any circumstances, install Secretary With Short Skirt 3.3. This application is not supported by Wife 1.0 and will cause irreversible damage to the operating system.
Best of luck,

[Joe-K]

[2BlueHeelers]

<BLOCKQUOTE class="ip-ubbcode-quote"><div class="ip-ubbcode-quote-title">quote:</div><div class="ip-ubbcode-quote-content">Originally posted by SAS!:
WOW, I'M INFECTED!

The doctor told me it was an unknown Ailment and there was no cure short of Wasted-Intoxicated-Nights & Long-Overdue-Therapy-To Overcome (win lotto).... </div></BLOCKQUOTE>

Now THATS FUNNY!

[WWFan]

SAS!

A perfect addedum to the Virus Notice!

[acjjkamp]

Thanks Sean, (other site)

I've been working on a cure for myself, but nothing has stopped the work virus yet....

[WWFan]

<BLOCKQUOTE class="ip-ubbcode-quote"><div class="ip-ubbcode-quote-title">quote:</div><div class="ip-ubbcode-quote-content">Originally posted by acjjkamp:
Thanks Sean, (other site)

I've been working on a cure for myself, but nothing has stopped the work virus yet....
</div></BLOCKQUOTE>

Well it wasn't for the lack thereof in trying to get cha off the hook! (Who do we need to call?! )

[sandjunkie]

I have the dreaded work virus. I will be taking some time off this weekend for a trip to glamis. I will be hitting the remedies hard trying to shake the virus loose.

[Grizwald2]

Thank god Im safe. Sounds like I started my 23 days of leave in the nic of time