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Old 10-20-2005, 01:05 PM   #29
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Well folks..... I think we have a new sub-species of gopher here in Santa Cruz
and they're so unique that they have evolved and are surely missing the olfactory
parts of their brains.

Monday....... new holes. I open up the chemical shed next to the hot tub and
arm myself with bromine tablets which I put down each hole and surrounding
areas. Keep in mind that this affected area is only about 15 square feet of lawn.

Tuesday..... new holes in the same area and the those little guys leave little
clumps of grass (without roots) on top of the new dirt. They're goading me again.
I now raid Lady Di's laundry room and steal her Clorox...... BAM, down the holes!

Wednesday..... nothing new. I think I'm winning!

Thursday morning..... I wake to actually see the little bugger pushing out dirt from a
new hole, same area, so without missing a beat, I run into the house and grab my 357.
I run out the front door and make sure the neighbors are not around and then push the
muzzle of the gun right into the stinker's new hole. Seven rapid fire magnum explosions
ripple the lawn and my adrenaline is now pumping as I see gunsmoke
filtering up through the ground. I felt the same exhilaration when I finally shot my
PC computer out in the desert after it suffered just too many brain F@rts for my
liking. I was always a Mac guy anyway

I'll keep ya posted

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Old 10-20-2005, 01:21 PM   #30
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<BLOCKQUOTE class="ip-ubbcode-quote"><div class="ip-ubbcode-quote-title">quote:</div><div class="ip-ubbcode-quote-content">I think we're about ready for some dynamite </div></BLOCKQUOTE>
It's getting closer! First the 357, next the ???
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Old 10-20-2005, 06:10 PM   #31
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Yikes!! That Caddyshack pic of Wes' is looking like it's a sequel possibly called "HowieShack"?

I guess so much for the ATV trick!
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Old 10-20-2005, 09:50 PM   #32
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<span class="ev_code_GREEN">This one is for the Nomad</span>

http://www.freeonlinegames.com/play/62.html
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Old 10-21-2005, 05:55 AM   #33
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That's all Howie needs Dave!! 12 more gophers!!
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Old 10-21-2005, 12:42 PM   #34
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The ritual started this morning when I grabbed a cup of coffee and went out
to inspect my lawn. As it turned out, my gopher had been wearing his bullet proof
vest and again he clearly had opened up a new, extremely large hole.

I couldn't believe that I could have missed him with gun. So, I jump in the truck
and dash off to the hardware store, then race to the pest control section.
I'm almost ready to buy the fused cyanide pellets, when a fella stops me and
suggests that I try the old fashioned traps. He is a local farmer and uses them
in his fields.

When I get home, I set the mechanical trap and tie a 4 foot cord to it. I push the
trap into the new hole and cover it all with some grass. One hour later the entire
trap and cord are missing..... I'm not kidding!

So now I figure I got him but good, but I have to dig out 3 foot of hole to find the
end of the cord....... I pulled the cord and up comes out an empty trap which had
been sprung, but no sign of a gopher. While I'm groveling in the dirt, he pops his
head out, almost doing the Caddyshack thing as he pushes more dirt out. We
have now make eye contact.

I grab the trap, reset it and place it in the opening again. I put grass over the
top and two minutes later the cord starts disappearing again...... but this time
I got him caught by his little grubby arms. SUCCESS AT LAST

Here are crime scene Photos...........



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Old 10-21-2005, 01:05 PM   #35
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Be alert Howie! Where there is one there are more!
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Old 10-21-2005, 07:59 PM   #36
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Let me be the first to say that Howie's former green-as-a-golf-course lawn now looks like a mine field and the smell of burned diesel permeates the neighborhood.
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Old 10-21-2005, 08:23 PM   #37
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<BLOCKQUOTE class="ip-ubbcode-quote"><div class="ip-ubbcode-quote-title">quote:</div><div class="ip-ubbcode-quote-content">Originally posted by SandyFeet:
Let me be the first to say that Howie's former green-as-a-golf-course lawn now looks like a mine field and the smell of burned diesel permeates the neighborhood. </div></BLOCKQUOTE>

Buuuuut...he's a happy camper now...just like the fisherman that caught the BIG ONE! God Bless Him....we got one! (once again the pure memory of Caddyshack comes into play).

Now Sandy (BTW...sure is nice to 'yack' with ya gal!)...as long as the EPA doesn't have a satellite image of the 2 square feet that he put out for the world to see, the diesel smell will diminish with time. Or it won't.

Grass can be replaced...and so can the gopher!

Sean
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Old 10-22-2005, 07:14 AM   #38
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Do you think the Nomad is searching the Yellow Pages for a Taxidermist??
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Old 10-22-2005, 07:26 AM   #39
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Dave:

He may be, but since he's done with the LE, he might try the gopher-MOD hmself!
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Old 10-22-2005, 08:33 AM   #40
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Dave,

I'm still playing the game you gave me to
get my thrills

As far a stuffing Mr. Gopher, yes I stuffed him
down his hole so he has a chance to teach a lesson
to his next generation.
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Old 10-30-2005, 05:04 PM   #41
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Howie, I think he would have really looked good on your den wall as a trophy. Besides, what a conversation piece, not to suggest that this thread is not better than sliced bread anyway. But, Congrats on bagging the bugger!
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Old 10-31-2005, 09:00 AM   #42
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<BLOCKQUOTE class="ip-ubbcode-quote"><div class="ip-ubbcode-quote-title">quote:</div><div class="ip-ubbcode-quote-content">So now I figure I got him but good, but I have to dig out 3 foot of hole to find the
end of the cord....... I pulled the cord and up comes out an empty trap which had been sprung, but no sign of a gopher. While I'm groveling in the dirt, he pops his head out, almost doing the Caddyshack thing as he pushes more dirt out. We have now make eye contact. </div></BLOCKQUOTE>

LMAOAROTF!!
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