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Old 02-16-2013, 11:26 AM   #5433
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They gots dain bramage too?
Oh, you noticed, eh?
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Old 02-16-2013, 01:09 PM   #5434
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Good water=Great people
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Old 02-16-2013, 06:17 PM   #5435
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I swear, there is something in the water in Canada.
The problem is I'm in Airyzona. Must be the water here!
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Old 02-16-2013, 06:54 PM   #5436
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You're not used to good water.
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Old 02-16-2013, 08:27 PM   #5437
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It must have went to my head.
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Old 02-16-2013, 09:13 PM   #5438
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It must have went to my head.
You sure it wasn't Potato water that you been sipping in that glass?
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Old 02-16-2013, 11:21 PM   #5439
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You sure it wasn't Potato water that you been sipping in that glass?
Is there another kind??
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Old 02-19-2013, 03:44 AM   #5440
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Old but funny
Canadian, eh!



CANADIAN JOKE # 1
After the North American Beer Festival, all the brewery presidents decided to go out for a beer. The guy from Corona sits down and says, 'Hey Senor, I would like the world's best beer, a Corona .' The bartender dusts off a bottle from the shelf and gives it to him.

The guy from Budweiser says, 'I'd like the best beer in the world,
give me 'The King Of Beers', a Budweiser.' The bartender gives him one.

The guy from Coors says, 'I'd like the only beer made with Rocky Mountain spring water, give me a Coors.' He gets it.

The guy from Molson Canadian sits down and says, 'Give me a Coke.'
The bartender is a little taken aback, but gives him what he ordered.

The other brewery presidents look over at him and ask,
'Why aren't you drinking a Molson's?'

The Molson Canadian president replies,
'Well, I figured if you guys aren't drinking beer, neither would I.'

CANADIAN JOKE #2
A Canadian is walking down the street with a case of beer under his arm.
His friend Doug stops him and asks, 'Hey Bob! Whacha get the case of beer for?'

'I got it for my wife, eh.' answers Bob.
'Oh!' exclaims Doug, 'Good trade.'

CANADIAN JOKE #3
An Ontarian wanted to become a Newfie. He went to the neurosurgeon and asked,
'Is there anything you can do to me that would make me into a Newfie?'

'Sure it's easy,' replied the neurosurgeon. 'All I have to do is cut out 1/3 of your brain,
and you'll be a Newfie.'

He was very pleased, and immediately underwent the operation. However, the neurosurgeon's knife slipped, and instead of cutting 1/3 of the patient's brain, the surgeon accidentally cut out 2/3 of the patient's brain.

He was terribly remorseful, and waited impatiently beside the patient's bed as the patient recovered from the anesthetic. As soon as the patient was conscious, the neurosurgeon said to him, 'I'm terribly sorry, but there was a ghastly accident. Instead of cutting out 1/3 of your brain, I accidentally cut out 2/3 of your brain.'
The patient replied, 'Qu'est-ce que vous avez dit, monsieur?'

CANADIAN JOKE #4
Did you hear about the war between Newfoundland and Nova Scotia ?

The Newfies were lobbing hand grenades; the Nova Scotians were pulling the pins and throwing them back.

CANADIAN JOKE #5

In Canada, we have two seasons... six months of winter and six months of poor snowmobiling.

CANADIAN JOKE #6
One day an Englishman, an American, and a Canadian walked into a pub together.
They proceeded to each buy a pint of Labatt Blue. Just as they were about to enjoy their beverages, three flies landed in their pints.

The Englishman pushed his beer away from him in disgust. The American fished the offending fly out of his beer and continued drinking it as if nothing happened.
The Canadian picked the fly out of his drink and started shaking it over the pint, yelling,
'SPIT IT OUT, SPIT IT OUT, YOU BASTARD!!!'
Rumor has it that the Canadian was of Scottish descent.


CANADIAN JOKE #7
A Quebecer, staying in a hotel in Edmonton phoned room service for some pepper.
'Black pepper, or white pepper?' asked the concierge.
'Toilette pepper!' yelled the Quebecer.
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Old 02-19-2013, 01:17 PM   #5441
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Hey Dunner, I didn't know you wuz a Canuck?
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Old 02-20-2013, 06:07 PM   #5442
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It even snowed in Phx (Snottsdale) today. AZ, where hell freezes over. Where I live, we just go lowly slush. When it hit my windshield, it went splot. Hail goes snap. My wipers decided to quit agitating Sadie.
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Old 02-20-2013, 06:35 PM   #5443
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This just in. I've been up-graded to hail.

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Old 02-20-2013, 06:44 PM   #5444
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This just in. I've been up-graded to hail.
When it gets to be golf ball sized don't venture out in it. Hurts like all get out and you don't wanna know how I know this little factoid! I should have stayed
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Old 02-20-2013, 11:14 PM   #5445
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I was in Lk Havasu today visiting relatives. They have lived there for 14 years and they got their first snow there this morning since they have been there. It was hardly enough to cool a couple of drinks. If it's not a foot deep it isn't worth worring about.

Good Cunuck jokes Dunner.
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Old 02-20-2013, 11:53 PM   #5446
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Guy sitting at the bar, stirring his beer with his finger and a genie pops out, grants him two wishes. For his first wish, he asks for a beer that never ends. He drinks his beer down, puts the glass on the table, it fills up again! Drinks it down, it fills up again! and again, and again! The genie asks him if he is happy with his first wish. Yes! he says, it's wonderful! Genie asks him what he would like for his second wish. Guy says, "I'll have another one of those!"
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