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Old 05-11-2016, 10:44 PM   #1
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Looking for a polite way to say NO

This is the second time my sister-in-law has asked or more so assumed they could borrow our travel travel when they are in town to take camping which would include the truck as well,last time i explained that since they have never used a travel trailer before and how much the trailer/truck costs that my wife and i are not comfortable letting them use it, she didn't take us seriously and was a little offended by our answer. this time they want to go camping with us next month but she was shocked when we said we don't have room for 3 more people in the trailer and that they can use our tent and blow mattresses,her response "can we sleep in the trailer and you guys sleep in the tent", i said hell no and that we got the trailer so we don't have to sleep in tents anymore. The DW and i want to go camping with them but not sure what else i can say to get through to them,normally i would say NO!!!!! and that's that but i'm trying to be a nice guy about this.I know this has been discussed on here before and i just curious how others on here have handled this type of situation
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Old 05-11-2016, 10:47 PM   #2
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I think you have made yourself clear, if you really want to go camping with them, tell them to rent a trailer or small RV or deal with the tents.
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Old 05-11-2016, 10:48 PM   #3
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Doesn't sound like "no" is working! Maybe try "NO!" next time.
Also, check your insurance some won't cover the rig if loaned to someone.

Luckily none of my kids has asked and neither of us has family left. Son used to have a TT and he knows how picky I am about our rig so I know he won't ask. Daughter's husband has a mobile RV repair business so he knows how to use/repair them and has owned MH's. Good thing they live at the north end of the state and we're at the south end! Too far away to make it feasible. Plus my insurance prohibits it.
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Old 05-11-2016, 11:12 PM   #4
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Laughing while saying no is also a useful approach. Make sure the laugh is totally incredulous. Also, I bet your sister in law totally understood you when you said no, but is hoping she can guilt you into changing your mind.

Side note: We have found it useful when I handle my family amd DH handles his family. If this is your brother's wife, talk to him. If it is your wife's sister, let your wife say no.
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Old 05-11-2016, 11:20 PM   #5
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Did you just say NO!, or did you give a bunch of qualifying reasons for denial? I've found it best to just be straightforward and businesslike when denying a request. Making attempts to assuage someones ego just confuses the situation. E-mail her a link to Cruise America.
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Old 05-11-2016, 11:25 PM   #6
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They want one bad enough to just take on a camping trip, tell them to go rent one. If they wreck a rental, you still have your rig. Tell them they are asking too much, and that you won't discuss it any more with them. Period. They aren't being nice about it in my opinion, so maybe you need to stop being nice about it, too.

Personally I live in my trailer. No one can borrow it, it's my home.
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Old 05-11-2016, 11:25 PM   #7
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Send your Brother/SIL this link via an E-mail and tell her "Looking forward to you JOINING us. Need to reserve ASAP"

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Old 05-11-2016, 11:27 PM   #8
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I guess the idea of just saying NO and meaning it has not been
part of your world.

No means No......live with it.

You might lose a mooch but gain respect.
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Old 05-12-2016, 12:28 AM   #9
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Well....you said "no" nicely twice and she didn't seem to get it. What does your brother do during this conversation?

Either put it into high gear the next time with a definite '"NO, and don't ask again" or suggest that you both take a wonderful camping trip together and they can rent a Class C. You can teach them the systems and perhaps they'll like it so much they'll buy one of their own.

I surely wouldn't let them use yours and definitely wouldn't accept putting you and your family out in a tent! Be firm!!! not nice.
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Old 05-12-2016, 06:01 AM   #10
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No means no. When sitting in one place for a while, we've all seen owners of rigs that have had practice driving (presumably) that still can't efficiently maneuver simply backing in a space.... so much so that it's obvious they don't even understand the geometry of what they're trying to do. For me, it wouldn't even get to whether or not I trust them to handle the intricacies of electrical use, plumbing use, etc.

Now... that said, if you're looking to be over-the-top gracious, you could point them to Cruise America or similar... maybe even do the prep work of making necessary arrangements for them (in THEIR name) and even paying them so that they can pay the bill (and be the responsible party)... or splitting it with them, whatever. They are family. And... then, going on a joint excursion. It should be easy to demonstrate how complicated the systems are and help them understand the reasoning behind future "No" answers.

Now... that would be over-the-top gracious, in my opinion, when someone chooses to play guilt games about your initial "no". So, I wouldn't do it but I bet my wife would see the value in the approach and, for her, I'd do it.
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Old 05-12-2016, 06:18 AM   #11
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It's funny, I'm actually on the side of occasionally letting a couple friends borrow my RV......

I wouldn't let your sister in law use it and I wouldn't want to go camping with them if you're painting the picture correctly.
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Old 05-12-2016, 06:29 AM   #12
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I would ask her what part of "NO" doesn't she understand. Any further discussion on the matter would not occur.
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Old 05-12-2016, 06:36 AM   #13
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What does your wife have to say about loaning out the RV?

I'm with the rest. No means no, with the attitude the sister in law seems to have, I sure wouldn't want to go camping with them either.
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Old 05-12-2016, 06:46 AM   #14
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That would be a big hell no. I have offered mine to overnight guests at my house but would not loan it out.
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