Dear Michael Moore,
I know you are overjoyed and celebrating the results of last week's election. (So are the Islamofacists in power in Iran and Syria and the people who danced and celebrated in the streets when the WTC towers fell on 09/11/2001.)
You're excited that the democrats are now in a position to block any further progress on any of G W Bush's agenda during the final two years of his presidency.
Well, while you are celebrating and issuing pompous and arrogant pledges, that really only amount to a thinly veiled smear of conservatives, keep this in mind:
Conservatives are not a bunch of ignorant dolts that believe every spin that CNN, MSNBC, CBS, NBC, and ABC put on the so-called evening news.
We are much more intelligent and better informed than you think we are. So, to help you understand that we aren't as easily bamboozled as the typical democrat voter, I have compiled a very abbreviated response to each of your "pledges". I could have written an entire article on each of the pledges, but, in the interest of brevity and actually having a life, I'll simply offer a concise reply to each pledge.
Thus, here is the response to Michael Moore's Pompous and Fictitious "Pledge to Disheartened Conservatives".
I, and my fellow thinkers, hereby respond to each of your inane "promises":
1. We will always respect you for your conservative beliefs. We will never, ever, call you "unpatriotic" simply because you disagree with us. In fact, we encourage you to dissent and disagree with us.
OK, so does that mean you will quit calling us "Nazis" or "liars" or "racists" simply because you disagree with us? Will you tolerate our opposing viewpoints on college campuses, or will you continue to try to squelch our voice through your "speech codes" that label beliefs you oppose as "hate speech"
2. We will let you marry whomever you want, even when some of us consider your behavior to be "different" or "immoral." Who you marry is none of our business. Love and be in love -- it's a wonderful gift.
We have never asked for the institution of marriage to be redefined.
Are you ready to extend this idea of "letting people marry whoever they want" to include multiple spouses, or their pets, or brothers and sisters? If not, why not?
3. We will not spend your grandchildren's money on our personal whims or to enrich our friends. It's your checkbook, too, and we will balance it for you.
Really? You've been raiding surplus social security funds for the general budget for the last 40 years (back when liberal democrats were in control). The checkbook analogy is cute, but given the bipartisan congressional checkbook scandal of the late 80's and early 90's (let's see, who controlled both houses of congress then?) don't be offended if we take your offer to "balance it for us" with a large helping of salt.
4. When we soon bring our sons and daughters home from Iraq, we will bring your sons and daughters home, too. They deserve to live. We promise never to send your kids off to war based on either a mistake or a lie.
You liberals are great at cutting and running and then claiming it is to "bring our sons and daughters home" even if you have to engage in a little bit of slanderous lying about them to turn public opinion against the mission in the first place. As for a war based on a mistake or a lie, we are not in one of those. (And you know it, but you continue to trot out that false canard because you are a congenital LIAR.) The biggest mistake was in allowing Saddam to send truckloads of materials into Syria which were then transported into Lebanon during the endless one-more-last-chances we kept giving him before finally enforcing the regime-change policy in Iraq.
5. When we make America the last Western democracy to have universal health coverage, and all Americans are able to get help when they fall ill, we promise that you, too, will be able to see a doctor, regardless of your ability to pay. And when stem cell research delivers treatments and cures for diseases that affect you and your loved ones, we'll make sure those advances are available to you and your family, too.
We will continue to fight to preserve the most innovative and economically free system of medical research and health care delivery in the world so that our people won't have to try to find some other health care system (like people in those democracies with universal health coverage have to) for treatment rather than dying while awaiting the bureaucratic rationing that is common to every socialized healthcare system in the world.
And stem cell research has already delivered treatments and cures for diseases without the need for creating and destroying human embryos in the process. So we will continue to support the use of adult and umbilical cord blood stem cells for the most promising areas of research.
6. Even though you have opposed environmental regulation, when we clean up our air and water, we, the Democratic majority, will let you, too, breathe the cleaner air and drink the purer water.
Even if you have to pollute the air and water in order to be able to clean it up. Thanks. And you will continue to promulgate regulations that prevent expansions of power plants that would actually reduce pollution and increase efficiency and capacity because the regulations require reworking the entire plant rather than applying the higher standards only to the expanded part.
This is a big reason why we haven't expanded our power grid and why the left coast and Midwest experience power shortages in the summer months.
7. Should a mass murderer ever kill 3,000 people on our soil, we will devote every single resource to tracking him down and bringing him to justice. Immediately. We will protect you.
Are you talking about Osama, Michael? Your boy clinton had a chance to have him on a silver platter and turned it down. And his plant on the 9/11 commission, Jamie Gorelick, was the chief architect of the "wall" that prevented sharing of information prior that might have detected and prevented the attack.
But we will continue to use every available method to detect and prevent these attacks rather than waiting for the next one. Of course we have to do this over the opposition of you and your fellow travelers who want to extend privacy protections to foreign nationals and known terrorists when they make phone calls or financial transfers into and out of the country. Come to think of it, I prefer our method of protection that seeks to prevent the attacks over one that prefers to call in the CSI team after the attack and treat it as an issue for the criminal court system rather than an act of undeclared war on the U.S.
8. We will never stick our nose in your bedroom or your womb. What you do there as consenting adults is your business. We will continue to count your age from the moment you were born, not the moment you were conceived.
Trust us that we don't want to go anywhere near your bedroom Michael. We don't care what you do in your bedroom either. We also don't want you inviting our children into your bedroom, trying to recruit them into activities for which they are not emotionally ready to handle, and we sure don't want you taking our daughters to get abortions without our knowledge or consent after the faulty information and birth-control products that you gave them, along with inadequate information about reasons they should delay sexual activity, results in teenage pregnancies. And by the way, I would prefer that the rights of my children and future grandchildren are protected while they are still in their mother's wombs. (the same way the rights of a bald eagle or other protected birds are protected before they hatch.)
9. We will not take away your hunting guns. If you need an automatic weapon or a handgun to kill a bird or a deer, then you really aren't much of a hunter and you should, perhaps, pick up another sport. We will make our streets and schools as free as we can from these weapons and we will protect your children just as we would protect ours.
Non-sequitors about hunting guns are irrelevant Michael. Where do you find anything in the second amendment about hunting? Too many big words with esoteric meaning in there for you? Maybe it is the unusual sentence structure that confuses you.
The key words in the amendment are as follows: "the right of the people to keep and bear arms shall not be infringed."
The right to keep and bear arms is about security, not hunting. Your efforts to make our streets and schools as free as we can from these weapons haven't protected anybody but the armed thugs who come in and murder the children. All you and your policies can accomplish is turn people in as many locations as possible into a bunch of unarmed victims.
10. When we raise the minimum wage, we will pay you -- and your employees -- that new wage, too. When women are finally paid what men make, we will pay conservative women that wage, too.
Our conservative women, myself included, know that they can make choices that determine whether they are paid less than, equal to, or more than men for various vocations. They enjoy the freedom to make those decisions about whether or when to get married, have children, stay home and nurture their children, etc. and they readily accept the market assessment of wages and salaries commensurate with those decisions without ******** about it. Most conservative women are also smart enough to know that raising the minimum wage has no impact except when it results in cost-push inflation and increased unemployment, with unskilled and teenage workers hardest hit. It is nice of you to promote a policy that will have a disproportionate negative impact on the constituencies of undereducated and unskilled laborers who tend to vote democrat. Will you also take credit for destroying their jobs?
11. We will respect your religious beliefs, even when you don't put those beliefs into practice. In fact, we will actively seek to promote your most radical religious beliefs ("Blessed are the poor," "Blessed are the peacemakers," "Love your enemies," "It is easier for a camel to go through the eye of a needle than for a rich man to enter the kingdom of God," and "Whatever you did for one of the least of these brothers of mine, you did for me."). We will let people in other countries know that God doesn't just bless America, he blesses everyone. We will discourage religious intolerance and fanaticism -- starting with the fanaticism here at home, thus setting a good example for the rest of the world.
So, are you saying you will try to impose these quotations of Christ (I note that you are rather selective in the ones you chose) through governmental action? Sounds kind of like a violation of that whole "separation of church and state" thing that you usually try to insert into the Constitution. As for respecting our beliefs, does that mean you will quit making asinine comments about evangelical Christianity being like the Taliban? (You really need to talk to your twin sister Rosie about that.) I'm glad to hear that you and your fellow liberals are pledging to work on your religious intolerance, because the way you people vilify Christians was really starting to irk me. In fact, it would be nice once in a while to hear some of you voice even a fraction of the animosity and hatred you have expressed against evangelical Christians in the form of a mild criticism of the Islamofacists that want to destroy Israel and who call us "The Great Satan".
12. We will not tolerate politicians who are corrupt and who are bought and paid for by the rich. We will go after any elected leader who puts him or herself ahead of the people. And we promise you we will go after the corrupt politicians on our side FIRST. If we fail to do this, we need you to call us on it. Simply because we are in power does not give us the right to turn our heads the other way when our party goes astray. Please perform this important duty as the loyal opposition.
You asked us to call you on it, so consider yourself called:
Harry Reid Directed earmarked federal funds to build a bridge near property he owns, increasing its value. This corrupt senator is about to be the majority leader.
Alcee Hastings Impeached and removed from federal judiciary for bribery. This corrupt judge should not even be eligible to serve in Congress, yet he is poised to be the next chairman of the House Intelligence Committee.
John Murtha involved in Abscam bribery as an "unindicted co-conspirator" and directed tens of millions of dollars in earmarked federal appropriations to campaign contributors. Has consistently opposed ethics and earmark reforms. Designated by the liberal watchdog group CREW as one of the twenty most corrupt representatives in the house. Poised to become House Majority Leader with the support of Nancy "Culture of Corruption" Pelosi.
William Jefferson accepted money from an executive who was convicted of bribery. FBI found $90,000 cash hidden in Jefferson's freezer.
Democrat voters continue to reelect these corrupt officials in spite of (or perhaps because of) their corruption. Democrat politicians circle the wagons and defend them during and after investigations. We'll eagerly anticipate the democrat initiative in cleaning up the corruption on the left side of the aisle. Oh and when do the democrats plan to even adopt an ethics rule of their own that would require leadership posts to be surrendered upon being indicted of a crime you know, like the one that the GOP considered changing last year when ultra-liberal and partisan DA Ronnie Pearle went grand jury shopping until he could finally get 12 people in liberal Austin with the chutzpah to submit the politically motivated and trumped-up charges against Tom Delay?
We reject each of your "promises" because we know that they are based on mistaken or false premises to begin with, or in a word you ironically like to use, they are fictitious.
And while you are every bit as American as we are, we do not join you even one bit in your practice of blaming America for our problems and for the actions of our enemies.
We do not join you in accusing our military of atrocities and claiming that Bush is worse than Saddam.
And while you decry the "wealthy" and "big business" while accumulating enormous wealth through our system of capitalism you so despise, we will continue to fight for your right to keep as much of your money from the hands of tax-collectors as legally possible.
But that is just us.
We stand by our principles even if it benefits our political opponents who then use that benefit against us.
That's OK.
When people realize that the democrats have no plan other than "We hate Bush and he's wrong" and the democrats fail to accomplish anything, or worse -- they actually turn the economy around and reverse the economic growth that Bush's tax cuts have stimulated, then we will be back with a much more productive group focused on solutions rather than b****ing and whining.
So enjoy your victory. Celebrate. Go out and dance in the street. Just be careful.
Some of those people also dancing in the streets are the ones who will go ahead and slit your throat because you are an American, without even stopping to ask whether you voted for democrats or not.
<BLOCKQUOTE class="ip-ubbcode-quote"><div class="ip-ubbcode-quote-title">quote:</div><div class="ip-ubbcode-quote-content">Originally posted by Vegascpl:
Food for Thought
Tuesday, November 14th, 2006
A Liberal's Pledge to Disheartened Conservatives ...by Michael Moore
To My Conservative Brothers and Sisters,
I know you are dismayed and disheartened at the results of last week's election. You're worried that the country is heading toward a very bad place you don't want it to go. Your 12-year Republican Revolution has ended with so much yet to do, so many promises left unfulfilled. You are in a funk, and I understand.
Well, cheer up, my friends! Do not despair. I have good news for you. I, and the millions of others who are now in charge with our Democratic Congress, have a pledge we would like to make to you, a list of promises that we offer you because we value you as our fellow Americans. You deserve to know what we plan to do with our newfound power -- and, to be specific, what we will do to you and for you.
Thus, here is our Liberal's Pledge to Disheartened Conservatives:
Dear Conservatives and Republicans,
I, and my fellow signatories, hereby make these promises to you:
1. We will always respect you for your conservative beliefs. We will never, ever, call you "unpatriotic" simply because you disagree with us. In fact, we encourage you to dissent and disagree with us.
2. We will let you marry whomever you want, even when some of us consider your behavior to be "different" or "immoral." Who you marry is none of our business. Love and be in love -- it's a wonderful gift.
3. We will not spend your grandchildren's money on our personal whims or to enrich our friends. It's your checkbook, too, and we will balance it for you.
4. When we soon bring our sons and daughters home from Iraq, we will bring your sons and daughters home, too. They deserve to live. We promise never to send your kids off to war based on either a mistake or a lie.
5. When we make America the last Western democracy to have universal health coverage, and all Americans are able to get help when they fall ill, we promise that you, too, will be able to see a doctor, regardless of your ability to pay. And when stem cell research delivers treatments and cures for diseases that affect you and your loved ones, we'll make sure those advances are available to you and your family, too.
6. Even though you have opposed environmental regulation, when we clean up our air and water, we, the Democratic majority, will let you, too, breathe the cleaner air and drink the purer water.
7. Should a mass murderer ever kill 3,000 people on our soil, we will devote every single resource to tracking him down and bringing him to justice. Immediately. We will protect you.
8. We will never stick our nose in your bedroom or your womb. What you do there as consenting adults is your business. We will continue to count your age from the moment you were born, not the moment you were conceived.
9. We will not take away your hunting guns. If you need an automatic weapon or a handgun to kill a bird or a deer, then you really aren't much of a hunter and you should, perhaps, pick up another sport. We will make our streets and schools as free as we can from these weapons and we will protect your children just as we would protect ours.
10. When we raise the minimum wage, we will pay you -- and your employees -- that new wage, too. When women are finally paid what men make, we will pay conservative women that wage, too.
11. We will respect your religious beliefs, even when you don't put those beliefs into practice. In fact, we will actively seek to promote your most radical religious beliefs ("Blessed are the poor," "Blessed are the peacemakers," "Love your enemies," "It is easier for a camel to go through the eye of a needle than for a rich man to enter the kingdom of God," and "Whatever you did for one of the least of these brothers of mine, you did for me."). We will let people in other countries know that God doesn't just bless America, he blesses everyone. We will discourage religious intolerance and fanaticism -- starting with the fanaticism here at home, thus setting a good example for the rest of the world.
12. We will not tolerate politicians who are corrupt and who are bought and paid for by the rich. We will go after any elected leader who puts him or herself ahead of the people. And we promise you we will go after the corrupt politicians on our side FIRST. If we fail to do this, we need you to call us on it. Simply because we are in power does not give us the right to turn our heads the other way when our party goes astray. Please perform this important duty as the loyal opposition.
I promise all of the above to you because this is your country, too. You are every bit as American as we are. We are all in this together. We sink or swim as one. Thank you for your years of service to this country and for giving us the opportunity to see if we can make things a bit better for our 300 million fellow Americans -- and for the rest of the world.
Signed,
Michael Moore </div></BLOCKQUOTE>
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