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Old 09-11-2011, 06:45 AM   #1
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Adult Truths

*** Adult Truths ***

1. Sometimes I'll look down at my watch 3 consecutive times and still not know what time it is.

2. Nothing sucks more than that moment during an argument when you realize you're wrong.

3. I totally take back all those times I didn't want to nap when I was younger.

4. There is great need for a sarcasm font.

5. How the hell are you supposed to fold a fitted sheet?

6. Was learning cursive really necessary?

7. Map Quest really needs to start their directions on # 5. I'm pretty sure I know how to get out of my neighborhood.

8. Obituaries would be a lot more interesting if they told you how the person died.

9. I can't remember the last time I wasn't at least kind of tired.

10. Bad decisions make good stories.

11. You never know when it will strike, but there comes a moment at work when you know that you just aren't going to do anything productive for the rest of the day.

12. Can we all just agree to ignore whatever comes after Blue Ray? I don't want to have to restart my collection...again.

13. I'm always slightly terrified when I exit out of Word and it asks me if I want to save any changes to my ten-page technical report that I swear I did not make any changes to.

14. I keep some people's phone numbers in my phone just so I know not to answer when they call.

15. I think the freezer deserves a light as well.

16. I disagree with Kay Jewelers. I would bet on any given Friday or Saturday night more kisses begin with Miller Lite than Kay.

17. I wish Google Maps had an "Avoid Ghetto" routing option.

18. I have a hard time deciphering the fine line between boredom and hunger.

19. How many times is it appropriate to say "What?" before you just nod and smile because you still didn't hear or understand a word they said?

20. I love the sense of camaraderie when an entire line of cars team up to prevent a jerk from cutting in at the front. Stay strong, brothers and sisters!

21. Shirts get dirty. Underwear gets dirty. Pants? Pants never get dirty, and you can wear them forever.

22. Even under ideal conditions people have trouble locating their car keys in a pocket, finding their cell phone, and Pinning the Tail on the Donkey - but I'd bet everyone can find and push the snooze button from 3 feet away, in about 1.7 seconds, eyes closed, first time, every time.

23. The first testicular guard, the "Cup," was used in Hockey in 1874 and the first helmet was used in 1974. That means it only took 100 years for men to realize that their brain is also important.

Quit Laughing.
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Old 09-11-2011, 07:06 AM   #2
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I loved this so much its now on my facebook page
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Old 09-11-2011, 07:10 AM   #3
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I vote best post of the week
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Old 09-11-2011, 07:50 AM   #4
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I am laughing so hard I wet myself.
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Old 09-11-2011, 07:59 AM   #5
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So true, except no. 7 for the directionally challenged.
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Old 09-11-2011, 08:20 AM   #6
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Funny except #17
at our age we should all know how to handle things in a bad neighborhood, altough I'm not sure what constitutes a "Ghetto"
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Old 09-11-2011, 08:37 AM   #7
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Great - Thank for sharing.
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Old 09-11-2011, 08:45 AM   #8
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Right on for # 7
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Old 09-11-2011, 09:01 AM   #9
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Still makes me chuckle too. I would have posted it last week, but I didn't know where to put it. Pass it on, it's too funny to let die.
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Old 09-11-2011, 09:54 AM   #10
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#5, The @#$%, fitted sheet folding thing. I've ask my wife, mom, and my oldest daughter. AND they have all given me instruction is great detail. Can I fold a fitted sheet? NO!!! Must be one of the Venus/Mars things. Men can't fold a fitted sheet. At least not the men in my family.

These 'truths' and American words, always, make me laugh. 'American words' like 'why do we drive on a 'parkway' and park in a 'driveway?' ????? I tell my girls 'we don't speak 'english'. Just listen to how they speak in England. A car hood is a 'bonnet'? Really!!

Thanks for the fun read with my morning coffee.
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Old 09-11-2011, 10:39 AM   #11
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Quote:
Originally Posted by RinkersRanch View Post
#5, The @#$%, fitted sheet folding thing. I've ask my wife, mom, and my oldest daughter. AND they have all given me instruction is great detail. Can I fold a fitted sheet? NO!!! Must be one of the Venus/Mars things. Men can't fold a fitted sheet. At least not the men in my family.

These 'truths' and American words, always, make me laugh. 'American words' like 'why do we drive on a 'parkway' and park in a 'driveway?' ????? I tell my girls 'we don't speak 'english'. Just listen to how they speak in England. A car hood is a 'bonnet'? Really!!

Thanks for the fun read with my morning coffee.
Sure real men can fold fitted sheets, roll them in a ball and hide on the bottom of the pile, works for me till DW gets to the bottom of the pile
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Old 09-11-2011, 10:54 AM   #12
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I can relate to #2. I was wrong once.......wait, wait, no I wasn't, I was just mistaken.


Also #16 is really good.
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Old 09-11-2011, 12:01 PM   #13
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Back in the 70s a little old Jewish lady at the laundromat showed me how to fold fitted sheets. By the time I got home CRS had already struck. When I sort laundry, I dump it all on the living room carpet. I quit folding under pants years ago. Like who's gonna look in your underwear drawer? Socks, I sort and put back in the basket before DD runs off with one. Once the small stuff is cleared away, I throw the fitted out there and let if form it's own semblance of a square. I then fold thirds into the center till it can be hidden under a non-fitted sheet.
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Old 09-11-2011, 12:10 PM   #14
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Even though I do know how to fold fitted sheets, I don't fold any sheets. Period. I pull them off the bed, wash and dry them, then they go directly from the dryer to the bed. I do this at least once a week until the sheets are worn out, then replace them with new ones. I just can't see the point in doing the extra work.
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