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Old 02-06-2012, 07:46 AM   #1
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Age and skill

An old German Shepherd starts chasing rabbits and before long, discovers that he's lost. Wandering about, he notices a panther heading rapidly in his direction with the intention of having lunch.
The old German Shepherd thinks, "Oh, oh! I'm in deep trouble now!"

Noticing some bones on the ground close by, he immediately settles down to chew on the bones with his back to the approaching cat. ...Just as
the panther is about to leap, the old German Shepherd exclaims loudly,

"Boy, that was one delicious panther! I wonder, if there are any more around here?"
Hearing this, the young panther halts his attack in mid-strike, a look of terror comes over him and he slinks away into the trees.

"Whew!," says the panther, "That was close! That old German Shepherd nearly had me!"
Meanwhile, a squirrel who had been watching the whole scene from a nearby tree, figures he can put this knowledge to good use and trade it for protection from the panther. So, off he goes.
The squirrel soon catches up with the panther, spills the beans and strikes a deal for himself with the panther.
The young panther is furious at being made a fool of and says, "Here, squirrel, hop on my back and see what's going to
happen to that conniving canine!"
Now, the old German Shepherd sees the panther coming with the squirrel on his back and thinks, "What am I going to do now?" But instead of running, the dog sits down with his back to his attackers, pretending he hasn't seen them yet, and just when they get close enough to hear, the old German Shepherd says,

"Where's that squirrel? I sent him off an hour ago to bring me another panther!"
Moral of this story.....
Don't mess with the old dogs. Age and skill will always overcome youth and treachery!
BS and brilliance only come with age and experience.
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Old 02-06-2012, 05:13 PM   #2
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Joe, from one old dog to another, that sounds right to me.
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Old 02-06-2012, 06:25 PM   #3
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Very good Joe. I will remember that.......
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Old 02-07-2012, 10:02 AM   #4
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Your Duck is Dead--D-E-A-D!


A woman brought a very limp duck into a veterinary surgeon. As she laid her pet on the table, the vet pulled out his stethoscope and listened to the bird's chest.


After a moment or two, the vet shook his head and


sadly said, "I'm sorry, your duck, Cuddles, has


passed away."


The distressed woman wailed, "Are you sure?"


"Yes, I am sure. Your duck is dead," replied the


vet..


"How can you be so sure?" she protested. "I mean


you haven't done any testing on him or anything.


He might just be in a coma or something."


The vet rolled his eyes, turned around and left the


room. He returned a few minutes later with a black


Labrador Retriever. As the duck's owner looked on


in amazement, the dog stood on his hind legs, put his front paws on the examination table and sniffed the duck from top to bottom. He then looked up at the vet with sad eyes and shook his head.


The vet patted the dog on the head and took it out


of the room. A few minutes later he returned with


a cat. The cat jumped on the table and also delicately sniffed the bird from head to foot. The cat sat back on its haunches, shook its head, meowed softly and strolled out of the room.


The vet looked at the woman and said, "I'm sorry,


but as I said, this is most definitely, 100% certifiably, a dead duck."


The vet turned to his computer terminal, hit a few keys and produced a bill, which he handed to the woman.. The duck's owner, still in shock, took the bill. "$150!" she cried, "$150 just to tell me my duck is dead!"


The vet shrugged, "I'm sorry. If you had just taken my word for it, the bill would have been $20, but with the Lab Report and the Cat Scan, it's now $150."


You know the drill ...if you're smiling, you must pass it on, give someone else a smile too! Share the laughter....
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