Civility

[wnytaxman]

One other factor that should be mentioned is that the written word is very easily misconstrued. Yes, we can capitalize a word to emphasize it, but overall it is very difficult to communicate via the written or worse yet, typed word. I've seen folks that I know have their comments misunderstood because the reader can't see the 'twinkle in the eye' or the side turned glance or any other form of body language. For that reason it is extremely important to reread what someone may have typed and try to see it from someone's viewpoint who may not be of the same opinion. As someone who has to do some pretty involved public speaking, I can tell you it is very easy to offend a listener or a reader with what we may perceive as being a very innocent comment.

[huntnski]

Originally Posted by wnytaxman

One other factor that should be mentioned is that the written word is very easily misconstrued. Yes, we can capitalize a word to emphasize it, but overall it is very difficult to communicate via the written or worse yet, typed word. I've seen folks that I know have their comments misunderstood because the reader can't see the 'twinkle in the eye' or the side turned glance or any other form of body language. For that reason it is extremely important to reread what someone may have typed and try to see it from someone's viewpoint who may not be of the same opinion. As someone who has to do some pretty involved public speaking, I can tell you it is very easy to offend a listener or a reader with what we may perceive as being a very innocent comment.

Boy have I fallen in that category ! I'm usually one that jokes and post light heatedly. For those that know me, they recognize my Sarcasm! But others have taken some offense which I then have to clear up. I've often said we need a sarcasm button! Lol or moticon!

[Route 66]

We thank you for the kind words.

We know how easy it is to get caught up in a spirited discussion and post something that is not really appropriate.

Many times heated discussions will cool off on their own and that's the preferred outcome.

Spirited discussions are fine as long as we can disagree without being disagreeable.

[NorthernDriv]

I agree with the lack of Civility today, not just on this site but everywhere. I won't say any more otherwise I'll just start to rant again.....!

[bsirby]

I think we do get a few posters that can turn things ugly in a heartbeat, HOWEVER, I also feel like our moderators get things back on track as quickly as they can. As Lori said, it is our responsiblility to report the abusers immediatley. I tried a couple other forums and ours is the best hands down. Most of the folks on here are very respectful to each other. There will always be those few on here AND in campgrounds who will ruin it for others. I try and ignore them and maybe they will go away.....lol

[Dog Folks]

I agree that this is a much better forum than many others. When I first joined I felt that the moderators was too "strict."

After hanging out here awhile I realized that the moderation is more restrictive, BUT it is fair, balanced and most of all consistent.

Consistency among the moderators is a real problem on some forums.

You don't have to guess about a post here.

You know what is allowed and what is not.

Civility here is required and maintained.

[MPH]

Originally Posted by Dan_public

+1 on what Lori said. I'm a member of many forums and was an admin of a non-RV forum for two years. I've seen a lot. This forum is one of the MOST civil and friendly forums I've experienced.

One suggestion that I made in my forum that takes a lot of tension out of posts is to remove the word "you" when disagreeing with someone. The word "you" immediately makes your writing personal. If it's a positive comment, that's great. If it's a negative comment, it's perceived as an attack. For example...

Suppose you disagree with someones opinion. Here are some options:

"You're a moron!" - This is obviously a personal attack. 'Nuff said.

"You're wrong!" - A little better, but it will probably be perceived as an attack regardless of your intention.

"Your opinion is wrong!" - Now it's getting more indirect. It's still pretty aggressive, but it focuses on the person's opinion and not the person. Person is good; opinion is not.

"I disagree with your opinion." - Even better because it's not saying that the person is wrong, but just that you disagree. Now you can present your case.

"Thanks for the info. Interesting point. Here's another side to it..." - Completely removes the "you" from the equation. It's now two (or more) people recognizing the value of each other, but still maintaining the space to present their own facts and opinions.

In my opinion, the vast majority of posts in irv2 use the last two styles of posting. This makes it a nice place to hang out.

Thanks,

Dan.

p.s. I've been in some forums where many of the posts start with "You're an idiot". You might get some help and information, but it's NOT a nice place to hang out.

Dan, were you a therapist in a past life? That's good advice...for everywhere! Not just forums.

Can't we all just get along?

Mel

[Dan_public]

Originally Posted by MPH

Dan, were you a therapist in a past life? That's good advice...for everywhere! Not just forums.

Can't we all just get along?

Mel

Mel,

Thanks but no, I never had the patience or guts to be a therapist.

One thing though... I spent years studying written and verbal communication. In person, verbal communication is great because we can get verbal and non-verbal cues from the person's voice and facial expressions. Verbal communication via a phone is tougher, but we can still pick up clues. Written communication is VERY difficult.

In the Internet world, we are what we write. Since it's difficult for other people to understand where I'm coming from, I have to take care to get my point across including the subtle nuances. Am I writing in jest? Serious, but a bit lighthearted? Pulling someone's chain? Calling them to task? Sometimes my intent and feelings don't come across.

Personally, I think emoticons are VERY important. Some people think they are silly. When used properly, they help get the emotional content across and establish where I'm coming from. Yep, I believe they are important.

Changing topics...

I strongly agree about the great job the Mods and Admins are doing. I've been behind the curtain myself. Quite frankly, it can get very ugly back there! Mediating spats between members is extremely important, but the effort and hassle pales in comparison with other issues that they undoubtedly deal with but never expose that to us. When I was a Mod and Admin (I've been both), we were spammed regularly. Trolls would join and try to create havoc. Product marketers would join and feed their subtle marketing messages to our members without exposing that they were guerrilla marketers. Of course, we had the porn spammers; they were the worst. And then there are forum software problems, like corrupt tables and indexes that needed rebuilding. I know all of this only because of hard, personal experience.

I hope our Mods and Admins have it better than I had, but I doubt it. In experienced opinion, our Mods and Admins are doing an extraordinary job of keeping this forum a smooth-running, great place to hang out. They deserve constant appreciation for doing a great job!

Best regards,

Dan.

[MSHappyCampers]

Originally Posted by NorthernDriv

I agree with the lack of Civility today, not just on this site but everywhere. I won't say any more otherwise I'll just start to rant again.....!

OK, calm down, count slowly to 10...

[MSHappyCampers]

Originally Posted by Dan_public

Mel,

Thanks but no, I never had the patience or guts to be a therapist.

One thing though... I spent years studying written and verbal communication. In person, verbal communication is great because we can get verbal and non-verbal cues from the person's voice and facial expressions. Verbal communication via a phone is tougher, but we can still pick up clues. Written communication is VERY difficult.

In the Internet world, we are what we write. Since it's difficult for other people to understand where I'm coming from, I have to take care to get my point across including the subtle nuances. Am I writing in jest? Serious, but a bit lighthearted? Pulling someone's chain? Calling them to task? Sometimes my intent and feelings don't come across.

Personally, I think emoticons are VERY important. Some people think they are silly. When used properly, they help get the emotional content across and establish where I'm coming from. Yep, I believe they are important.

Changing topics...

I strongly agree about the great job the Mods and Admins are doing. I've been behind the curtain myself. Quite frankly, it can get very ugly back there! Mediating spats between members is extremely important, but the effort and hassle pales in comparison with other issues that they undoubtedly deal with but never expose that to us. When I was a Mod and Admin (I've been both), we were spammed regularly. Trolls would join and try to create havoc. Product marketers would join and feed their subtle marketing messages to our members without exposing that they were guerrilla marketers. Of course, we had the porn spammers; they were the worst. And then there are forum software problems, like corrupt tables and indexes that needed rebuilding. I know all of this only because of hard, personal experience.

Best regards,

Dan.

I think we ought to double their salaries!

[Helotes2010]

"I really wish folks would express their positions even maybe disagreeing "

I'm in the Army so let me express my opinion of Navy Sailors like you. You guys are alright in my book!

I agree with you, let's be civil and camp-on!

[Winepress]

On another forum when I was just learning about diesel pushers I made the mistake of asking about Cummings engines. My question was never answered, but I did get several reprimands that it is Cummins not Cummings. Enough of that, found this site and proud to be a member and supporter. Hats off to the moderators! Thanks.


Try and live up to your dogs opinion of you.

[MartySQ]

<sigh> Oh, Winepress, sadly... I've seen people make remarks about that here too, rather than nice corrections, it went into a full scale rant about folks who can't spell, etc. But not nearly as much here as elsewhere. I don't mind corrections, it gets annoying after awhile... as I live with an English teacher's son who thinks he should point out every grammatical and spelling error...but when it gets personal here, the mods usually put a stop to it.

[NLOVNIT]

Originally Posted by MSHappyCampers

I think we ought to double their salaries!

$0 doubled is still $0. However thanks for the appreciation.

It really is our members who make iRV2 what it is. In a forum this size, there's bound to be a few bad apples in the bunch, though. But just like Donny sang: "One bad apple don't spoil the whole bunch...".

Lori-