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Old 04-17-2014, 03:08 PM   #1
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For fat guys only!

OK guys, I may patent this idea, but I'm gonna share it with you right now for free.

Simply put, I've gained 35 lbs and it's all in front! I guess you call it a "beer belly", except I don't drink beer! Anyway, I don't have much of a butt and my pants keep trying to fall down! Sound familiar? When it's cold I wear suspenders and a sweat shirt, but that doesn't work in Mississippi in the summer!

So I started thinking. (Sometimes I sits and thinks, sometime I just sits! ) Now for those pants to stay up, there needs to be some resistance. Slick cloth on slick cloth doesn't offer much resistance. So what could be put on those pants to provide that resistance.......

Then it hit me! What would be more resistant to slipping than rubber!!! I remembered that as a kid we would use rubber cement in school for sticking posters to walls, etc. Off I go to Fred's and bought a bottle of Elmers Rubber Cement (in school supplies). I took a pair of my jeans and coated the inside of the waist band with the rubber cement. The first coat soaked in and didn't offer much resistance, so I applied two more coats. Put it on thick!

SHAZAM! It works! I can now go all day with only an occasional tug on my pants! It's not a 100 % cure but I give it a 90! The only downside is that the rubber tends to wear off after a while, especially after washing, so you have to apply more coats as needed.

Now I know that all you fat guys are gonna want to send me a check after you try this, but try to restrain yourself! You're welcome!
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Old 04-17-2014, 03:33 PM   #2
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Old 04-17-2014, 03:44 PM   #3
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Mabe you could get a surgeon to implant a couple strips of velcro into your hips !
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Old 04-17-2014, 03:45 PM   #4
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Mabe you could get a surgeon to implant a couple strips of velcro into your hips !
Now that's an idea! That would save rubber cement!

You wanna patent that or should I?
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Old 04-17-2014, 03:49 PM   #5
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Already have the patent !

Just need to find a wacky, fat surgeon, who thinks it's as good an idea as I do !!
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Old 04-17-2014, 03:52 PM   #6
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Already have the patent !

Just need to find a wacky, fat surgeon, who thinks it's as good an idea as I do !!

Sign me up!

I assume Medicare will pay for that, right?
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Old 04-17-2014, 04:02 PM   #7
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Was kinda hoping to find a beer drinker to try it on first .

There usually not ashamed to show off my product to all their buddies !!
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Old 04-17-2014, 04:07 PM   #8
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Why don't you join an RV nudist campground! Save the glue, the velcro and make the medicare people happy campers! By the way, they wouldn't let me join, so I'll be buying the glue!
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Old 04-17-2014, 04:15 PM   #9
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Why don't you join an RV nudist campground! Save the glue, the velcro and make the medicare people happy campers! By the way, they wouldn't let me join, so I'll be buying the glue!
I was permanently banned some time ago! They painted a big red "X" on my tail in case I tried to sneak back in!
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Old 04-17-2014, 04:31 PM   #10
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They painted a big red "X" on my tail in case I tried to sneak back in!
Ahhh ......... Another one of my patents !!
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Old 04-17-2014, 04:32 PM   #11
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Stop wearing pants! My solution is to wear a bathing suit all summer long. I start tanning early in the year so my lower parts don't look so white. My trunks fit well and don't sag at all so no need for any help. By the way, my swim trunks are a black pair of Speedo's two sizes too small with the rear thong option. My belly hangs down far enough in front to hide the trunks, but the back looks wonderful. If I say so myself, kind of looks like Jean-Claude Van Damme back there.
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Old 04-17-2014, 04:35 PM   #12
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Old 04-17-2014, 04:40 PM   #13
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Stop wearing pants! My solution is to wear a bathing suit all summer long. I start tanning early in the year so my lower parts don't look so white. My trunks fit well and don't sag at all so no need for any help. By the way, my swim trunks are a black pair of Speedo's two sizes too small with the rear thong option. My belly hangs down far enough in front to hide the trunks, but the back looks wonderful. If I say so myself, kind of looks like Jean-Claude Van Damme back there.
Yeah ... I heard about that all the way down here in Florida! Just a hint, but next time you wear those in public, put the potato in the front!!!

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Old 04-17-2014, 04:43 PM   #14
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Stop wearing pants! My solution is to wear a bathing suit all summer long. I start tanning early in the year so my lower parts don't look so white. My trunks fit well and don't sag at all so no need for any help. By the way, my swim trunks are a black pair of Speedo's two sizes too small with the rear thong option. My belly hangs down far enough in front to hide the trunks, but the back looks wonderful. If I say so myself, kind of looks like Jean-Claude Van Damme back there.
That would meen your RED X is showing all the time !
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