Help Needed want to be fulltimer !!!!!!!

[Paw John]

I need help!!!!!!!!! The wife and I have a 2004 36ft. MS 5th wheel and 2002 F350 truck. We are in our young 50 something and I want to full time after retirement but the wife wants to stay home with the children and grand kids. I need to know what it will take to convince her to try the life of a fulltimer. She doesn't understand that we could work camp and see the Great U. S. A. or just invest in solar power and boomdock.
I'm tempting the tought of packing up some of her clothes and hide it in the camper and talk her into a week long trip and when we leave from their just go further west and ( I guest this is called kidnapping her ). She would not realize we are heading in the wrong direction until we would stop for the first night.
We have our three kids and eight grandkids over to the house every sunday for lunch. She complains every time about not knowing what to cook and the house is getting too small. We are expecting our ninth grandkid this December. I keep egging her to let us try fulltiming and see if this will be for us.
Any help will be appreciative and I look forwards to seeing all of you on the road sometime in the future.

Paw John & Mom Mom Krista
Also Yellow Lab Ali ( 3 - year old )

[MSHappyCampers]

Paw John, I'm afraid you're fighting an uphill battle! Good luck, you'll need it!

[tworootless]

After 30 years of marriage (rocky at times) it was my decision to file for a divorce over the full time issue. Left her the house, two married daughters, the grand-kids and the dog. Re-married 2 years later and in our 12th year on the road. My dad asked once; "Couldn't you just hang in there?" Life's too short and none of us know if we're coming back for a second chance. Doesn't make sense to spend your reaming days being miserable, dreaming of what might have been. Guess I'm selfish.

[WheelingIt]

My advise is take it slow and try some weeklong trips (or more) working up to some longer ones. Stick to places you know she'll like so she gets to see the best part of RVing. Maybe the kids can come caravaning too? Book several sites and make it a family affair? When they see how much fun it is they might help to convince her to do it...you never know.

That's really my best advise. I was in the opposite camp...ready to go but needed to convince hubby. Took it slow and eventually got there.

[njs42]

These things buzzed through my head after reading your OP-----no facts here just blather---maybe useful maybe not but that is why you have a delete button.

Regardless I wish you both well.


If you can't compromise you probably cannot successfully fulltime together either.

Be careful what you wish for you may get it----make sure you really, really want it----

"one is the lonliest number that you'll ever do".

Take stock of what you value the most, now before you retire, and settle it (I'm not suggesting what that should be).

The "complaints" listed sound like hints to me; sometimes it is better to listen.

At your age there is time for this to evolve, kids/Grandkids get older, houses harder to maintain---maybe she is saying I just cannot decide right now.

Parting with what gives you comfort is hard for some people they need time.

Perhaps she understands perfectly what boondocking means etc; just not interested full time. So how much would she be interested in-----sometimes it is fear of the unknown---tooo many unanswered questions?

Sometimes half a loaf is better than none---what about half a year, then home for the holidays?

Sometimes I learn a lot when I try to listen to why my wife feels so differently about some things than I do.

I'm like the guy who stayed up all night to watch the sunrise----finally it dawned on me.

I'm not always right----------

[hamguy]

If Mom ain't happy, nobody's happy! And that is that!

[bsirby]

Hubby and I fulltime. Rented the s&b out. We make sure we are back in the area for every grandchilds birthday and whenever we just need to be around them. Try keeping the s&b and take trips of a month at a time but give your wife the home base to come back to. Fortunately my DH misses thee g-kids as much as I do. Our longest trip was 2 months and that was plenty long for both of us. Now our trips are a month or less and we are all happy with that.

[Paw John]

Thanks for all of your advise, I've been talking to the wife about full timing in the future and she may be warming up to the idea. I really appreciate all the advise and will try to start out slow. If she likes this type of life then we can become full timers.
WheelinIt your blog is full of very useful information.
Thanks again to every body and I hope to meet up in the near future.

Happy trails from Paw John

[Batman_777]

Fulltiming life in an RV, Boat, Tent, Hotel, etc is not for everyone. You have to accept the other's desire the same as the other respects your desire. Setting up shop in stick built home is the acceptable norm for 99% of the people.

You both need to agree or the chances of success will not be good in whatever you do.

[RickO]

Grandkids are always going to be a draw for mama. Sometimes it encourages RVing full time... as it did with us... and sometimes it works against it... as it seems to be doing for you. Our grandkids lived 800 miles away so the coach was a way to spend a lot of time with them. In your case it makes it an uphill battle to leave.

A positive you could work on is the possibility of flying one or more of the kids to meet you at a fun destination you'll be staying at. We've done that a couple of times and it is a big attraction. It can be expensive but if you watch for discount rates it's not bad.

Bottom line is that if you are going to live full time with someone in 350 sq ft you had better be best friends AND both want to be there!

Best of luck

Rick

[Afubar]

"one is the lonliest number that you'll ever do".

Sorry, njs42, I disagree. One is a fantastic number. I'm loving it. While I think men are a great play toy, I just don't see the need to own one. I'll be fulltiming soon (next 4 months, God willing) and am looking forward to going on the road.

toorootless has it right.

[smack2020]

Me and wife have been talking about going FT since Jan 2011. We both like travel in the Moho. If we get rid of all our junk and house, we can afford to retire and travel in 3.25 years. If we keep house and travel we will need to work 5-6 years. We have a real nice house we built about 8 years ago, maybe still a little upside down. Might have to rent it or short sell. Kids and 6 grandkids live in our same town, so that will make it tough to leave.

We are 49 and 47 and the town we live in is about 100 degrees from may to oct, so that will be a good time for us to try to find cooler temps. I would like to come back to our town for thanksgiving and Christmas and stay at a local RV park until after new years. Who knows from there, maybe desert for a few months while temps rise in the north. We've never been farther east than Colorado. Lots to see and many adventures await us.

God willing FT December of 2014.

[Barbara S.]

Quote:

Originally Posted by Afubar "one is the lonliest number that you'll ever do". Sorry, njs42, I disagree. One is a fantastic number. I'm loving it. While I think men are a great play toy, I just don't see the need to own one. I'll be fulltiming soon (next 4 months, God willing) and am looking forward to going on the road. toorootless has it right.

Sorry, I disagree. After traveling solo for almost 20 years, I have found that trying to do it all by myself is not fun anymore. Yes, I CAN do everything by myself, but I see couples working together who get things done in less than 1/2 the time it takes me. I traveled with a friend last year and with my daughter this year and I enjoyed those trips so much more than trying to do it all myself.

You are just starting out and it seems new and exciting. I hope you continue to have that enthusiasm throughout your travels.

[melvonnar]

In this life you only get one shot; whatever you do; think long and hard, then do it.