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JimM68 · 09-10-2012, 12:19 PM

For those who can remember (search if you can't), #1 is my "bad boy".

He's also the one that DW loves above all else, including me, and has from the day he was born 23 years ago....
"
Today, my neighbor at work says "was your son supposed to be here over the weekend"?

and I say "No...."

So I hear this story about how my son and 3 of his friends are parked on the side of the building, next to my office window, pretending to play with a bad tire in his friends red monte carlo....
and my office window was open.
it was closed and locked when i left friday.
I gave it a push, and it just flopped open. The patches were pulled right out of the wood. The wood at the bottom was all cracked and destroyed. The crank out mechanism was trashed.

So I call the DW, and she talked to him, and he denies it.
Says he was there, fixing a bad tire, no idea why he was at my office doing this, nor why my office window just happened to be pry-bared open...

I leave a large quantity of cash in my desk drawer, and he knows this.
DW only has to say "I took him for a job interview today, and he got hired!"

I'd pretty much resigned myself to this life for the foreseeable future...
This &^^$##@ makes me wonder about just pointing the rv west and the hell with all of them.

Sky_Boss · 09-10-2012, 12:24 PM

I FEEL your pain. I have an addict son that is a bit dangerous and forced me to get additional protection. When we retire and are "wheels up" we don't plan to leave a forwarding address.

Ken-55 · 09-10-2012, 12:26 PM

I didn't search for any previous posts, so my opinions are just on this situation . . .

If the cash is missing, I'd call the police and let them do their job. I can't imagine why the DW or son would mind since he didn't do it!

I feel your pain . . . best of luck!

melvonnar · 09-10-2012, 05:47 PM

This may not make you feel any better but I have one of these to; mine is serving 20 to life in the federal prison. when he was out he could empty your wallet or purse in a blink of an eye. When he was out I feared for my life, for drugs ruled his life and I belive he would kill to get money to get his fix.
When they set him to prison that had to be the best day of my life. I had sent him to every rehab that I could find; nothing helped; don't blame yourself for anything he has done, some of the bad ones just can't be helped.
You didn't ask for advise but this kid (man) will never change, think long and hard what your future is going to be like.
I send this junkie $150.. a month in prison; best $150 I ever spent.

Jack1234 · 09-10-2012, 05:58 PM

Isn't the definition of insanity ......repeating the same thing over and over again expecting a different result. May be time to consider a different course of action?

John H... · 09-10-2012, 06:13 PM

Jim, It is probaly a sure bet he is on drugs. I know from experience, they would rob their Grandmother to buy them. Hard to believe your own son would rob you but they will. The best cure is jail time. Report your break in to the police and see what comes of it.

melvonnar · 09-10-2012, 06:44 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by John H...

Jim, It is probaly a sure bet he is on drugs. I know from experience, they would rob their Grandmother to buy them. Hard to believe your own son would rob you but they will. The best cure is jail time. Report your break in to the police and see what comes of it.

x2 x3 x4
I waited 20 years for things to get better; it never did, if this guy goes to jail you will catch @#$%$#@ from your dw but I guarantee you, your personel life will get better; your dw may not like it but I guarantee "you" will feel better..

daveshan · 09-10-2012, 07:02 PM

Don't have any kids but can attest from experience that DW's spin on this is dead wrong and the advice you've gotten here, with the exception that "it will never change" is absolutely right. It may very well change, plenty of people, including lots of young former drug addicts are in recovery and lead productive lives.

As long as a drunk/addict has a way out they probably will continue to do what they do. Tough love is the only answer, IMO, call the cops.

TAZ · 09-10-2012, 07:10 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Ken-55

I didn't search for any previous posts, so my opinions are just on this situation . . .

If the cash is missing, I'd call the police and let them do their job. I can't imagine why the DW or son would mind since he didn't do it!

I feel your pain . . . best of luck!

X2... Report it to the police!

I remember your previous post. I had two step sons from a former marriage with the same problem. Note "former" marriage! I hate to point out the apple does not fall fare from the tree. I later learned that my ex had drained all my accounts. I never prosecuted but her next employer sent her to federal prison 3 years later when she embezzled from them.

I wish you luck. Step back and take a clear look at what is really going on!

melvonnar · 09-10-2012, 07:26 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by TAZ

X2... Report it to the police!

I remember your previous post. I had two step sons from a former marriage with the same problem. Note "former" marriage! I hate to point out the apple does not fall fare from the tree. I later learned that my ex had drained all my accounts. I never prosecuted but her next employer sent her to federal prison 3 years later when she embezzled from them.

I wish you luck. Step back and take a clear look at what is really going on!

Taz---- your last sentance says it all and I agree.

racefn · 09-10-2012, 07:53 PM

This &^^$##@ makes me wonder about just pointing the rv west and the hell with all of them.[/QUOTE]

I for one wouldn't run away, meet it head on,do what you know you have to do and let the Law take care of things, Had a brother..... I now wish I would have done things differently, he's no longer with us, Drugs, trouble , we always got him out of it, looking back he needed help and was looking for it the whole time. I feel your pain but you cannot let it take over your life, Good Luck whichever way you go.

Possum · 09-10-2012, 08:15 PM

Don't give up on the kid. I had a nephew who got into it bad. Tough love is the only way to save the moron. It worked for our nephew and will work for your son. Your wife needs help also. I wish you the best of luck whichever decision you make but the law is the first step.

Sky_Boss · 09-10-2012, 08:20 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Possum

Don't give up on the kid. I had a nephew who got into it bad. Tough love is the only way to save the moron. It worked for our nephew and will work for your son. Your wife needs help also. I wish you the best of luck whichever decision you make but the law is the first step.

I wish it was that easy...sometimes it just doesn't work. At some point you have to just accept the child for what they are. That is for one's own sanity.

The best thing we ever did was go to an alanon group for parents of addicts. It helped us understand how to deal with it.

datrbone8 · 09-10-2012, 08:22 PM

I read David Crosby's biography "Long Time Gone" in which he relates his struggle with drug addiction and just how low it brought him. It's impossible for me to understand the hold that drugs can get on a person but reading his account really made an impression. He lost everything, including just about all of his friends. According to David the thing that saved his life was jail.