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Old 06-10-2013, 11:04 PM   #1
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How do you handle rude people?

I have been an RV owner 2 years and 3 months and a full-timer RVer for 2 years and 2 weeks. I have had a marvelous time and have met some of the nicest people in the world -- RVers.

Today I met my very first rude RVer. I had just started dumping my holding tanks when he pulled up behind me. After about 2 minutes he stuck his head out of his pickup window and yelled, "you're not supposed to camp here, this is the dump station".

Thinking that he was like all the other RVers I have met, I hollered back something about enjoying the view. I honestly thought his comments were good natured kidding around. Well, I was wrong about his nature, that's for sure! And apparently he was already having a bad day and not being able to dump immediately was just about the last straw for him. He got out of his truck and came storming up to me, but being that I had a non-potable water hose in one hand and a you know what kinda hose at my feet, he stopped short of coming too close. He yelled out a few insults and mild threats and went back to his truck.

About 2 minutes later, long enough for him to think up some new threats, he gets out of his truck again and starts my way. So I reach over and take ahold of the non-potable water hose again. This time he didn't pass his front bumper. He yells,"I took your picture and !'m going to file a complaint with the state DOT. Ok, I think I'm really scared now. The DOT is going to ticket me for slow dumping. I wonder how much the fine is?? Does the DOT have jurisdiction over rest area dump stations? I yell back, "I can't change gravity." as he turns to get back in his truck. And I slowly return to watching foul liquid coming out of the hose.

Next he decides his blaring horn will convince me to hurry up. That got his front bumper sprayed with non-potable water. I'm thinking I have pushed back as far as I dare. This hothead might have a gun under his seat. So, I turn my back to him, praying for him to not have a gun.

The next thing I hear is his transmission complaining as he throws his diesel into reverse, awkwardly backing his big fifth wheel back the 25 feet he needs to get out of the dump lane. He then floors the truck, speeding past me while blaring his horn and giving me a one-finger salute.

So, hopefully I have met the one and only rude RVer. And if you sir happen to be reading this, know that you made the right choice in leaving. If you had stayed behind me I would not yet be finished dumping my tanks.

So, how do you handle rude people? I need some pointers just in case there are 2 of them and I come across the second one, too.

Barb (RVM18), Sena (capuchin monkey, RVM Head Mascot) & Lily (Maltese/Yorkie)
2011 Shasta Cynara 230F & 2012 Smart Car toad, 272 watt solar system
The Journey is Our Destination. Full-timing since 5/18/2011 and loving it.
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Old 06-10-2013, 11:17 PM   #2
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Ask them: Would like to help me?
Or maybe: Fell free to dial 911 and report me.
Pull out your cell and take a pic's of them and their license plate.
Then partially close the grey water valve and slow the process.

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Old 06-10-2013, 11:17 PM   #3
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My black tank is 35 gallons, my grey is 65 so it might take me a while. If the person doesn't like it, that's their problem. If they try to make it my problem then they WILL have a bigger problem with law enforcement.
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Old 06-10-2013, 11:22 PM   #4
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I guess this is a big problem in the United States and I am very aware of not pushing too far.
Here in Australia we just say Get ........ And that usually settles things. But if it doesn't at least I'm not worried about being shot because here only the bad guys have a gun, and they are few and far between.
Luckily the closest I've come to a rude guy was a dude trying to sell me some drugs at a Pllot. I'm dam sure he would have been armed. I was very polite about saying no.
Back to the subject- Your friend was very agitated and unreasonable. I wouldn't say he was rude as such. Maybe he'd bought some drugs off the guy at the Pilot - I'm sure nothing you could have said would have placated him
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Old 06-11-2013, 02:27 AM   #5
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I don't have the patience for rudeness and usually my facial expression indicates just how much further they can go. Now, if my wife is near, they know quite fast that they have crossed the line. Enough said.
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Old 06-11-2013, 04:52 AM   #6
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There's a country song about seeing someone driving slow on their cell phone, blaring the horn at them, but not knowing the call they're taking while driving was about a dying child or relative. Maybe this jerk was in the same boat.

I usually kill them with kindness and tell them 'Buddy, you're having a pretty bad day so I'm going to pray for you and your family'. That usually sets them back more than a left hook. Especially if you start praying out loud then and there!

Frankly, shooting his rig with your hose just put you down on his low level. You want to diffuse the situation not give him reason to escalate it which could result in a tragic ending.
Tom and Katharine
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Old 06-11-2013, 05:04 AM   #7
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I'm sorry you ran into that guy. However you're percentage of guys like that are pretty good ( one in 2 1/4 years ). Anyone who thinks that this may not happen occasionally in this Country or others is naive. Unfortunately there are a few out there. In my 12 years , there haven't been enough to even remember. I guess I just ignore them. I strongly believe that happiness is an inside job and I don't let them inside .

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Old 06-11-2013, 05:53 AM   #8
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Originally Posted by RVThere View Post
Frankly, shooting his rig with your hose just put you down on his low level. You want to diffuse the situation not give him reason to escalate it which could result in a tragic ending.
You're right, it wasn't one of my finest moments, but I think my instinct was to keep him as far away as possible. I was so shocked by his belligerence that I really wasn't thinking straight.

As a solo female traveler, personal safety is always a concern. I will not have any weapon stronger than pepper spray. Even that has to be secured since one of my traveling companions is a very curious capuchin monkey. Sena is the equivalent of a 2-3 year old human child and her safety is always my top concern. She was uncaged in my motorhome at the time, and another reason he needed to stay away.

In a crisis I don't think dumping holding tanks would be a priority. Had he mentioned any compelling reason for his haste I would not have slowed down the process or I would have just shut the valves and let him have his turn. There is a dump station at the rest area 40 miles up the road.

In contrast, in the next motorhome to pull up was a very pleasant man. I was so befuddled by the first guy's behavior that I forgot to secure a cabinet door and had to pull to the side of the road about 3 miles from the dump. Just as I was about to get back into the driver's seat he knocked on my door. He noticed us on the shoulder and stopped to see if I needed help. This is the type of RVer I am accustomed to meeting. I rarely stay in campgrounds so my experience with other RVers has been rather limited.

If I am ever in a similar situation I'm sure I'll handle it differently. Thank you for your honest constructive criticism. You've given me something to think about.
Barb (RVM18), Sena (capuchin monkey, RVM Head Mascot) & Lily (Maltese/Yorkie)
2011 Shasta Cynara 230F & 2012 Smart Car toad, 272 watt solar system
The Journey is Our Destination. Full-timing since 5/18/2011 and loving it.
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Old 06-11-2013, 06:01 AM   #9
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There is no danger that this bozo is a member of this Orem. He already knows everything.
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Old 06-11-2013, 06:29 AM   #10
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Yes, you were first in line....

and, no, we don't know why your friend was frustrated already - is it possible he was frustrated because of you ??

a conflict is better avoided than defused or challenged.

just to make sure we have all the story, I have to ask...

Is it possible you were like the lady (NOT a lady as you'll see)
I pulled up behind coming out of the campground that didn't hook up her sewer hose to the outlet but just let it run on the ground !?!

or set there 20 minutes after - in fact, long enough for me to back up, turn around, circle to the office and tell them , then pull in from the other side to get set up to dump?

I asked her was that the first time she had ever dumped and she said no .
I suggested maybe nobody would want to walk in her 'stuff' and that there's a better way...
If you really are sad and think nobody cares, just try missing a few payments ! '11 Monaco Diplomat 43DFT RR10R pushed by a Demco Excali-Bar II hitch which is pushed by a '14 Jeep Wrangler Unlimited Sport.
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Old 06-11-2013, 07:04 AM   #11
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I'm not sure you need any tips on handling these situations. Sounds like you did just fine. Hopefully, none of us will face folks like this often enough to get "good at it".

Rick, Nancy, Peanut & Lola our Westie Dogs & Bailey the Sheltie.

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Old 06-11-2013, 01:08 PM   #12
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the reason those people are so rude is that they get away with it. when a jerk like that gets the same treatment back then they think twice before doing it again. i am an old retired store manager and i am tired of kissing rude peoples ass, if they dish it out they are going to get it right back in there face. its just to bad things are getting like this but it is happening more often than it should , the majority are still good nice people.
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Old 06-11-2013, 01:31 PM   #13
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You are so correct about wonderful people in our RV world. For me it is near the top of my list of things I like about RVing. But, from time time to time you run into one of the other kind. For me, it depends on my day and my mood. Most of the times I am patient and just ignore them. I am 6'2" 225 lbs, if you want to mess with me, I can handle it and usually give back more than I get.
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Old 06-11-2013, 05:10 PM   #14
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I will ask. How long DID you take dumping?

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