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Old 11-24-2015, 04:53 PM   #1
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How To Install A Southern Home Security System

Go to Goodwill and buy a pair of 15 - 16 pair of men's work boots.

2. Place them on your front porch, along with a copy of Guns and Ammo Magazine.

3. Put your giant dog dishes next to the boots and magazine.

4. Leave a note on your door that reads:

Me and Marcel, Donnie Ray and Jimmy Earl went for more ammo and beer. Be back in a hour. Don't mess with the pit bulls. They got the mailman and messed him up,pretty bad. I don't think Killer took part, but it was hard to tell with all the blood. Anyway, I looked all 4 of em in the house. Better wait outside. Be right back.

Cooter



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Old 11-25-2015, 10:36 AM   #2
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Old 12-02-2015, 09:55 PM   #3
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I think I know Cooter... 😄
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Old 12-03-2015, 12:40 PM   #4
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There is just one problem with this system which nobody on this forum is likely to think of.

I am in the south right now.. I recently looked at two maps and compared them.. WHICH I WILL NOT DO HERE. One was a political map (RED/BLUE states) which applies not to this post other than to explain what one of them was.

The other was a high school drop out map.. THe more red on the map the more students fail to complete 9th grade... This was county by county.

Many of the Southern states had a whole lot of red counties. and where I'm parked.. One of the reddest.

So here is the problem... The burglar may not be able to read that note, since he never bothered to learn how.

Thus you need the Southern model 24 back up system.

(Grandpa with a 12 ga Double Barrel across his lap).

To get serious for a second........
Someone has a NEST camera in their RV.. Some idiot broke in, took just the face off the dash radio.. Then he found the camera,, Turned it, TUrned it back, and exicted.. When the video was played back for the benefit of a couple of police officers they said "OH, HIM" and .. Well. now he no longer wishes to break in... OUT perhaps, but not in.
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Old 12-03-2015, 12:48 PM   #5
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Originally Posted by wa8yxm View Post
There is just one problem with this system which nobody on this forum is likely to think of.

... The burglar may not be able to read that note, since he never bothered to learn how.
That's why the boots, magazine and dog dish also need to be on the porch.
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Old 12-08-2015, 06:04 AM   #6
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From some of the people I've seen on the news, with their IQ, not much will deter them. A lot of empty space up there.
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Old 12-08-2015, 08:13 AM   #7
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Quote:
Originally Posted by wa8yxm View Post
There is just one problem with this system which nobody on this forum is likely to think of.

I am in the south right now.. I recently looked at two maps and compared them.. WHICH I WILL NOT DO HERE. One was a political map (RED/BLUE states) which applies not to this post other than to explain what one of them was.

The other was a high school drop out map.. THe more red on the map the more students fail to complete 9th grade... This was county by county.

Many of the Southern states had a whole lot of red counties. and where I'm parked.. One of the reddest.

So here is the problem... The burglar may not be able to read that note, since he never bothered to learn how.

Thus you need the Southern model 24 back up system.

(Grandpa with a 12 ga Double Barrel across his lap).

To get serious for a second........
Someone has a NEST camera in their RV.. Some idiot broke in, took just the face off the dash radio.. Then he found the camera,, Turned it, TUrned it back, and exicted.. When the video was played back for the benefit of a couple of police officers they said "OH, HIM" and .. Well. now he no longer wishes to break in... OUT perhaps, but not in.

Interesting. Now, cross-reference the BLUE state map with welfare recipients to see where, although the graduation rate went up due to government funding, Billy Bob is still choosing to sit in Dads' basement playing video games all day.

Personally, I'd rather live where Billy had to quit school to help support the family instead of where he is still in the basement.

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Old 12-08-2015, 08:33 AM   #8
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Todays news, burglary suspect hiding in pond killed by 11 foot alligator.
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Old 12-08-2015, 08:55 AM   #9
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Interesting. Now, cross-reference the BLUE state map with welfare recipients to see where, although the graduation rate went up due to government funding, Billy Bob is still choosing to sit in Dads' basement playing video games all day.

Personally, I'd rather live where Billy had to quit school to help support the family instead of where he is still in the basement.

X2!
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Old 12-08-2015, 09:52 AM   #10
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Bruce C View Post
Todays news, burglary suspect hiding in pond killed by 11 foot alligator.
BCSO: Suspected Palm Bay Burglar Killed, Eaten By Alligator After Fleeing Deputies |
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Old 12-08-2015, 10:13 AM   #11
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Nuf Said!
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Old 12-08-2015, 10:30 AM   #12
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This thread is straying into some very controversial territory. I suggest moving on before Community Rules get violated.

Thanks,
Lori-
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