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Old 01-08-2013, 08:07 PM   #43
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See the thing is many of you aren't really bought into your relationship. If you aren't willing to completely and totally combine with your spouse / partner then you are keeping some part of you back. It is that simple. And, if you don't think your other half doesn't notice, you are smoking some of that now legal stuff in Denver.

I share everything with my wife. And I mean everything. There is no better freedom that complete openness. She knows all my faults, weird quirks, and fetishes. [moderator edits]Sorry if this hits a soft spot but I have to tell you that anything other than total and complete openness is something less than a perfect relationship.

Quit hedging! Bare yourself to your mate and feel the freedom!!!!
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Old 01-08-2013, 08:11 PM   #44
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Quote:
Originally Posted by SarahW View Post
To the comments about trust...to insinuate that others who don't do things YOUR way are any more or less trusting of their mate is total malarkey. Each family's situation is unique to them. I believe that both partners should know how to handle money and be ready to step in and manage things should something unforeseen happen to their partner.
Hold on to those shorts there, of course everyone's situation is unique. I think your misconstruing he meaning behind the comment "trust". It's not as in "The ^%$! stole my money and ran off, but as in; I trust her/him to handle the bills, I trust her/him to move money where it belongs, I trust her/him to not run to Rio with my bank account. believe me I know all I need to know about the financials, it's all on the spreadsheet that we both review on a regular basis. Only someone oblivious wouldn't make sure they know how to handle things (although I've known a few). I just prefer to keep it simple, don't need to overlord or muck things up. That's why trust is so important, Just sayin'. Now I gotta catch a flight to Rio
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Old 01-08-2013, 08:13 PM   #45
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Joint banking & most credit cards for nearly 30 years of marriage & it works for us. Although, I do have a few CC's I established in my own name just so I'd have a credit history of my own in case something ever happens to Dave & I find I need to stand on my own.

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Old 01-08-2013, 08:24 PM   #46
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And I thought Dr. Phil was hilarious. LOL.
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Old 01-08-2013, 08:56 PM   #47
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Just a quick thought, especially for those for whom everything is joint:

In some states, in the event of a death, all accounts in that person's name are frozen, some until probate is completed. The inability to access what was joint money, even if only for a short time, may be significant.

There can be many legal possibilities, just my humble opinion.

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All our accounts are set up as joint tenancy with right of survivorship. That's the easiest way to avoid probate.
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Old 01-09-2013, 07:12 AM   #48
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The wife and I have joint accounts except for my business account. It's worked for us for 43 years so far. I do think Dave is a little "out there" sometimes, everyone is not as talented as he and can't make millions as he has so paying cash for everything is out of the question. We also use our credit cards to pay for most things and pay the balance off every month, I carry very little cash and this works well for us.
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Old 01-09-2013, 09:13 AM   #49
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Money is the number one issue of strife in relationships. With our separate accounts and financial agreements, there is never an argument concerning money. We each have our separate accounts and credit cards. We trust each other completely with the other's finances but we choose to keep them separate. We have a list of financial principles we decided on in the beginning of our relationship and stick by them. Does that take discipline-yes but we have always had the same outlook on spending. Any discretionary money is ours to do with as we please which for both of us usually means adding it to our separate savings. We think if more people would approach their marital financial dealings as we have, there would be more harmony and less divorce.
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Old 01-09-2013, 09:24 AM   #50
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Money is the number one issue of strife in relationships. With our separate accounts and financial agreements, there is never an argument concerning money. We each have our separate accounts and credit cards. We trust each other completely with the other's finances but we choose to keep them separate. We have a list of financial principles we decided on in the beginning of our relationship and stick by them. Does that take discipline-yes but we have always had the same outlook on spending. Any discretionary money is ours to do with as we please which for both of us usually means adding it to our separate savings. We think if more people would approach their marital financial dealings as we have, there would be more harmony and less divorce.
Does having separate savings imply separate retirement plans?

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Old 01-09-2013, 09:27 AM   #51
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We are retired and each have our pensions. I retired first but only by about 4 months. Again, we have common financial goals so retirement did not alter that at all.
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Old 01-09-2013, 09:28 AM   #52
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Okay, so here's the beancounter's perspective.....yes and no! Sounds like I may have a future in politics, right? I think that married couples at times should have both joint and separate accounts.

Let me explain that comment. Divorce is pretty common and my guess would be that more than a few of us on this forum have passed through the divorce courts in one form or another. Now, noone should get married with the idea of getting divorced, but in some states the idea of separate property is pretty important if a couple reaches that crossroad where they have to go their separate ways. Planning is very important, particularly as it applies to real estate, businesses, and inheritances.

For example, let's say that a wife gets a substantial inheritance. She puts it in a joint account. Now it becomes a joint asset and would be split accordingly, which is definitely not the way the deceased would have wanted the money split. If the wife puts the money in a separate account then it shouldn't (notice I said shouldn't) be an issue in the event of a conflict between the spouses down the road. It is her money and it was intended to be her money.

Money is the primary cause of divorce and it makes it particularly sticky when it gets into the "my money" versus "your money." Divorce is a fact of life, and let's face it, people change over the years and not always for the better. Trust is a great thing but logic has to enter the picture some where along the line. Logic says we can be joint on many things, but some things have to be kept separate to keep the peace.
Exactly. In the US property laws vary from state to state. Especially in community property states, where there are children from previous marriages and/or pre-marital property, couples should get advice from accountants/lawyers regarding property rights. Then they can make educated decisions regarding how they wish to proceed. Even in non-community property states where there is tenancy by the entirety people should have an awareness as to what effect marriage has on their assets.
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Old 01-09-2013, 09:46 AM   #53
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Joint tenancy with right of survivorship may work out very well for some. At least in some states.

The point I'm trying to make, is that as RVers, we face some unusual challenges. Most are a little older. And older people tend to face death sooner. Or unexpected illnesses or hospitalizations that can rack up medical bills into the hundreds of thousands. And those who are full-timing sometimes have a change of state residency. States vary as to how money is dealt with following death, or an unexpected bankruptcy, even.

I would recommend that before you accept any advice about money matters on a forum, that you check with a competent legal professional, skilled and schooled in matters that pertain to you, in your chosen state of residency.

Avoiding problems is usually less expensive than correcting them.

Again, just my opinion.

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Old 01-09-2013, 10:07 AM   #54
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Joint tenancy with right of survivorship may work out very well for some. At least in some
As far as I know JTROS is valid in all states with the same premises, but I agree on getting money advice from qualified individuals. For many (esp. those with children) a Living Trust may be a better option to manage your estate and avoid probate. And Living Trusts do need to be re-done when you change your state of residence. Either way death and the passing of assets should be planned for.
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Old 01-09-2013, 10:27 AM   #55
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We're coming up on 37 wonderful years. Both of us were married before. All our accounts are joint, infact every thing is jointly owned.
We dated each other before we married other people, in fact she was the first girl that I proposed to. She was 17, I was 20 and in the Marine Corps. When I went to her father to ask for his blessing, he said we were both too young to get married. I know now that he was right, after both our previous marriages failed 8 years later we ran into each other in Linda's Cantina and from that night have never been apart.
All our earnings are in joint accounts, when it comes to purchases that are out of the norm we discuss it prior to buying. Each month we draw an amount of cash for entertainment money held by her and the left over amount is held and accumulated. This money pays for Christmas presents for our children and grand children, haven't used our savings or checking since 2000 for these gifts. Also, it is used for Las Vegas, Laughlin and The Q in Yuma during our travels. Anything not on auto pay is handled jointly. We also shop together. I honestly think I could count the "discussions" over money on one hand.

Simply put, we became one when married and choose to live lifes path that way. We don't feel the need to have a "her" and "his" money.
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Old 01-09-2013, 10:29 AM   #56
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Thom and I have been together around 20 yrs or so. Been married for about 4 of those yrs. We have seperate and joint accounts. The only reason for the joint is cause we had to add each other at one point or another when we get a refunds for things in both our names. He has his money and I have mine. We each have different bills that we are resonsable for. And even thou he may be listed as joint on mine and me on his accounts we still operate as seperate.
We are best friends. We actually talk to each other about just about everything, politics is maybe the only thing that gets glossed over we have similar but different opinions and we realize it so don't bother to argue and get worked up over something like that. We trust each other completely with everything and have it on paper if something were to happen to one of us.
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