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Old 01-09-2013, 02:58 PM   #57
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My wife and I share everything. We started out with nothing, and so anything we have belongs to both of us. Sometimes I've made more money, sometimes (OK, most of the time..) she's earned more. Now I work part time for $, and run the household the other part.
I think it's different for different couples. We both have the same attitude towards saving and spending,and we talk about any major purchases together before hand.
Of course, it's all easy when there is "enough" money. The proof is when the money is tight and you are struggling to make it to the end of the month. As owners of RV's probably most of us are lucky to be doing better than many..
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Old 01-09-2013, 04:47 PM   #58
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Joint everything for the 34 years we've been married. IMO this subject is all about trust, and it's worked flawlessly for us. We have one credit card we use solely on vacations and she pays all the bills with the sole exception of the bills I generate while living in the MH during the week. If I want to know something she tells me. If I want to buy something I tell her and she gives me our financial status. To tell you the truth i don't even want to deal with it. We've had many friends that have separate accounts and over the years we've seen all of them have issues of some sort with that method.
Pretty much the same here, but, we've been married for almost 43 years now and I handle the "paper work", not her. She's never been interested in the "finances", but, we talk freely and no matter what our income level (we were dirt poor when we got married, I was 17, she 18 and a newborn), we talked. I think that is the most important thing, at least for us. We all have "wants"; the ability to discuss them, make equitable decisions and know that it can't always be "me" is the basis for our being together for so long. We always pay cash and always have, except for our mortgages (long since paid off) and we "balance" our big purchases, it may be a big loom for her this month or a new rifle for me in a couple of months, or it may be a whole new kitchen which puts both our "wants" on hold for awhile, but, we always talk, discuss, balance each other's "needs" and we trust each other implicitly. Everything we own is joint, with the one exception being our 401Ks and those will be rolled over soon into a joint investment account. Like above, everyone we know that has "his" and "hers" have had issues, though I'm sure there are those where that works just fine and I am all for what works for you, and I can see where in a divorce that may be beneficial, but, we didn't get married with divorce as an "option" for rough patches. When we both said "I do", "his" and "hers" became "Ours, 'til death do us part"; it wasn't a contract to live together, but, seperately, it was a commitment to each other, together, for the long haul. Corny, yes, but, that's the way we've always run our lives and it is still working for us.
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Old 01-09-2013, 05:09 PM   #59
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For over 2/3 of our married life we shared everyting, (what little we had belonged to both of us), I viewed it as "what is mine is her's" and thought she felt the same.
A funny thing, (NOT ha-ha funny), happened when my DW inherited.
Since then what is mine is STILL her's... BUT what's her's is ALSO her's.
Sure can make one feel differently about his "partner"!
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Old 01-09-2013, 05:16 PM   #60
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Individual accounts here. It's worked for many years. Don't think we will change it. Easier on the purchases of stuff for our kids and grandkids. Noboby has to explain anything..Just the way it has worked for us.
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Old 01-09-2013, 05:25 PM   #61
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JOint on checking, but I started a business in my name and had a savings and checking in only my name for that business for awhile, one of those is closed and the other has a small amount in it... all the cars are in my name and the house, only because when we were moving and the closing day came, Hubby had fallen off the storage loft in the garage to the floor and broke his elbow badly and was in the hospital with his writing arm unservicable... so I had to sign it all. he works in the big city, we live in a rural small towen, he doesn't want to take off to tag cars, etc. so they are all in my name. He makes the money, I spend it. OK, so I make a little...LOL but give most of it to him to handle, I just spend it if I keep it around so, it is to our joint advantage to turn it over to him. Our joint attitude is what's mine is yours.
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Old 01-09-2013, 05:31 PM   #62
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If you live in a state like Wisconsin, it doesnt matter if you split up your accounts as the state says ALL accounts, cash or debt, belong to BOTH married parties regardless of the name on the account.

Indiana on the otherhand, is the opposite.
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Old 01-09-2013, 06:53 PM   #63
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We've always been "joint accounts" for the past 47 years. Always check with the other before ANY major purchase and both HAVE to agree before buying. Wife used to do all the bill pay and stuff but she started forgetting to pay things/missing dates, so I have taken that part over but try to keep her in the loop so if something happens she would know how I have things set up. I've never been a fan of "separate accounts" and the "It's mine" theory. It all belongs to both of us, no matter what. Others may like the separate accounts and thats fine, this is what works for us.
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Old 01-10-2013, 10:08 AM   #64
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See the thing is many of you aren't really bought into your relationship. If you aren't willing to completely and totally combine with your spouse / partner then you are keeping some part of you back. It is that simple. And, if you don't think your other half doesn't notice, you are smoking some of that now legal stuff in Denver.

I share everything with my wife. And I mean everything. There is no better freedom that complete openness. She knows all my faults, weird quirks, and fetishes. [moderator edits]Sorry if this hits a soft spot but I have to tell you that anything other than total and complete openness is something less than a perfect relationship.

Quit hedging! Bare yourself to your mate and feel the freedom!!!!
Let me try this again.X2
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Old 01-10-2013, 10:28 AM   #65
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Not necessarily. My spouse and I are full time RVers and spend 24/7 together. We rarely do anything apart. We are each others best friends as well as lovers. We know exactly how much money we have and we prefer to keep out funds separate. We have never, ever had an argument concerning money. We have made several large purchases in the last year with no strife. We are not rich, we just have an agreement that works well for us. It may not work for you. But do not assume that we are not as committed because we like to keep our money separate.
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Old 01-11-2013, 08:38 PM   #66
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See the thing is many of you aren't really bought into your relationship. If you aren't willing to completely and totally combine with your spouse / partner then you are keeping some part of you back. It is that simple.
As in all things, your mileage may vary. Why some folks have joint accounts and some have separate accounts can have a very different basis than issues of trust or buying into a relationship. My wife and I are an example of a couple with a joint account and separate accounts with joint access. The separate accounts were brought into the relationship because they were where Uncle Sugar deposited our paychecks and we now use them as a way of organizing our finances. We bank with USAA, have no fees on the accounts, and actually, due to the separate accounts, have twice as many no-fee ATM transactions per month. Separate accounts also give us partial protection should someone manage to gain access to one of the accounts.

We all have reasons for the way we conduct our business, and we also tend to judge others based upon our own cultural biases, which may have no bearing at all on the motivations of those we are judging.
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Old 01-12-2013, 06:43 PM   #67
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In reference to the multiple accounts. I was advised by my bank (Wells Fargo) to have a separate accounts for my on line shopping not linked to my main accounts so if some SOB got into the online accounts damage would be limited to those accts. Sounds reasonable to me considering the many ways the bad guys can get into your accounts these days and I figured the "bank" must have dealt with this enough before to make it a point to advise customers of this possibility.
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Old 01-14-2013, 03:40 PM   #68
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I'll ad my perspective here...

I'm pretty young (compared with most here) at 32 and my wife is 36. We have joint everything. Not only because she is home all day, every day homeschooling our three children, but also because it makes sence.

So take the separate accounts thing - it all depends on what kind of work the husband and wife do. If they make the same money, then yeah, would work fine to have things separate. But what happens if one looses their job? Unemployment comes in and barely pays mortgage and utilities. So their spouse is out having a ball buying whatever they want while the jobless one just deals?

Or on the other spectrum, if one spouse gets a HUGE promotion and wants to move into larger home - how does that work?

What about when they go out? One eats filet and the other mac-n-cheese?

Children add a whole new dynamic as well. Who pays for sports for the kid? Clothes? Food?

Basically, what I'm saying here is that decisions need to be made together. We have been VERY broke at times, but still trucked along and rarely bicker over money. It is give and take. Sometimes she wants a ton of new make-up and cooking stuff. Sometimes I want some new toys for the car. We work it all out TOGETHER. And niether one of us gets the short end of the stick.
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Old 01-14-2013, 04:07 PM   #69
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The number of accounts and who they belong to has no bearing on how decisions are made or money is spent. Accounts are just that. A place that money is parked. Powers of attorney, wills and directed beneficiary accounts like insurance policies, 401k, Roth accounts, trusts and annuities for husbands and wives are useful financial tools. We have separate accounts for many reasons. None of them have to do with a lack of trust or selfishness. We both have access to all of the "papers" needed to provide access to any account should the other be "unavailable". We make our decisions together and chart our course as one. If the measure of a marriage is how money is banked and in whose name then I'm genuinely confused but it works for us. YMMV
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Old 01-14-2013, 06:15 PM   #70
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Quote:
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See the thing is many of you aren't really bought into your relationship. If you aren't willing to completely and totally combine with your spouse / partner then you are keeping some part of you back. It is that simple. And, if you don't think your other half doesn't notice, you are smoking some of that now legal stuff in Denver.

I share everything with my wife. And I mean everything. There is no better freedom that complete openness. She knows all my faults, weird quirks, and fetishes. [moderator edits]Sorry if this hits a soft spot but I have to tell you that anything other than total and complete openness is something less than a perfect relationship.

Quit hedging! Bare yourself to your mate and feel the freedom!!!!
Respectfully disagree.

Trust is not a issue in our marriage. We share everything and have complete openness.

Just because we want to have separate accounts doesnt make us a non-trusting or open marriage.

If there is a big household purchase or the kiddo needs something, we talk about it and make a decison as husband and wife and move forward.

It is not a matter of hiding anything, it is just easier for us. Every month we both get x dollars to do what we want with. I dont want to worry about logging a bunch of recipets for her and I am sure she doesn't want to deal with my toys I buy.

The day I have to worry about my wife and what she is doing with her money is probably the day I will need to start wondering who my wife is "doing" besides me. And on that day, when I have to worry about such, I will no longer be married to her any longer and it is vice versa for her with me.


It works for us, maybe not others.

Thanks !
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