Go Back   iRV2 Forums > iRV2.com COMMUNITY FORUMS > Just Conversation
Join iRV2 Today

Mission Statement: Supporting thoughtful exchange of knowledge, values and experience among RV enthusiasts.
  This discussion is proudly sponsored by:
Please support our sponsors and let them know you heard about their products on iRV2
Thread Tools Search this Thread Display Modes
Old 06-11-2015, 04:12 PM   #1
Registered User
Join Date: Sep 2013
Posts: 301
Married Or Not You Should Read This:

When I got home that night as my wife served dinner.I held her hand and said, I have something to tell you. She sat down and ate quietly. Again I observed the hurt in her eyes.

Suddenly I don't know how to open my mouth. But I had to let her know what I was thinking. I want a divorce. I raised the topic calmly. She didn't seem to be annoyed by my words, instead she asked me softly, why?

I avoided her question. This made her angry. She threw away the chopsticks and shouted at me, you are not a man. That night we didn't talk to each other. She was weeping. I knew she wanted to find out what happened to our marriage. But I could hardly give her a satisfactory answer; she had lost my heart to Jane. I didn't love her any more. I just pitied her.

With a deep sense of guilt, I drafted a divorce agreement which stated she could own our house, our car and 30 percent stake in my company.. She glanced at it and tore it to pieces. The lady who had spent 10 years with me had become a stranger. I felt sorry for her wasted time, resources and energy, but I could not take back what I had said, for I loved Jane so dearly. Finally she cried loudly in front of me, which is what I expected to see. To me her cry was actually a kind of a release, the idea of a divorce which had obsessed me for several weeks now seemed clearer and firmer now.

The next day, I came home very late and found her writing something at the table, I didn't have supper and went straight to sleep and feel asleep very fast after a eventful day with Jane. When I woke up she was still at the table writing. I just did not care, rolled over and went back to sleep.

In the morning she presented her divorce conditions, she didn't want anything from me, but needed a month's notice before the divorce. She requested in that month we both would struggle to live as normal a life as possible. Her reason was simple: our son had his exams in a month and she didn't want to disrupt him with our broken marriage.

This was agreeable with me. But she had something more, she asked me to recall how I had carried her to our bridal room on our wedding day. She requested every day for the months duration I carry her out of our bedroom to the front door every morning. I thought she was going crazy. Just to make our last days bearable, I accepted her request.

I told Jane about my wife's divorce conditions. She laughed loudly and thought I was absurd. No matter what tricks she applies, she has to face the divorce she said scornfully.

My wife and I hadn't had any body contact since my divorce intention was so explicitly expressed. So when I carried out the first day, we both appeared clumsy. Our sonclapped behind us, daddy is holding mommy in his arms. His words brought me a sense of pain. From the bedroom to the sitting room, then to the door. I walked over10 meters with her in my arms. She closed her eyes and said softly, don't tell our son about the divorce. I nodded, feeling somewhat upset. I put her down outside the door. She went to wait for the bus to work. I drove alone to the office.

On the second day we both acted much more easily. She leaned on my chest. I could smell the fragrance in her blouse. I realized I hadn't looked at this woman carefully in a long time. I reAlized she was not young any more. There was wrinkles on her face,her hair was graying. Our marriage had taken it's toll on her. For a minute I wondered what I have done to her.

On the forth day when I lifted her up, I felt a sense of intimacy returning. This was the woman that had given me ten years of her life to me. On the fifth and sixth day. I realized our sense of intimacy was growing again. I didn't tell Jane about this. It became easier to carry her as the month slipped by. Perhaps the everyday workout had made me stronger.

She was choosing what to wear one morning. She tried on several dresses but could not find a suitable one. Then she sighed all my dresses have grown bigger. I suddenly realized she has grown so thin. That was the reason I could carry her easily.

Suddenly it hit me........she had buried so pain and bitterness in her heart. Subconsciously I reached out and touched her head.

Our son came in at that moment and said dad it's time to carry mommy out. To him, seeing his father carrying his mother out had become an essential part of his life. My wife gestured for him to come closer as she hugged him lightly. I turned my head away as I was afraid I would change my mind at the last minute. I then held her in my arms, walking from the bedroom, through the sitting room to the hallway. Her hand surrounded my neck softly and naturally. I held her body lightly, just like it was our wedding day.

She looked at me, astonished and then touched my forehead. Do you have a fever? She asked I moved her hand off my head. Sorry Jane, I won't divorce. My married life was boring probably because she and I didn't value the details of our lives, not because we didn't love each other any more. Now I realize that since I carried her into our home on our wedding day I am supposed to hold her until death do us apart. Jane seemed to suddenly wake up. She gave me a loud slap and slammed the door and burst into tears. I walked downstairs and drove away. At the floral shop on the way, I ordered a bouquet of flowers for my wife. The salesgirl asked me what to write on the card. I smiled and wrote I will carry you out till death do us apart.

That evening I arrived home flowers in my hand , a smile on my face, I run up the stairs, only to find my wife in the bed....dead. My wife had been fighting CANCER for months and I was so busy with Jane I didn't notice. She knew she would die soon and she wanted to save me from whatever negative reaction from our son, in case we push through the divorce----At least, in the eyes of our son.......I'm a loving husband

The small details in our lives is what really matter in a relationship. It's not the mansion, the car, property, the money in the bank these create a conductive environment for happiness but cannot give happiness in themselves.........

So find time to be your spouse's friend and do those little things for each other that builds intimacy. Do have a real happy marriage.

Sent from my iPad using iRV2 - RV Forum. 2014 Entegra DLQ

SonnyB is offline   Reply With Quote
Join the #1 RV Forum Today - It's Totally Free!

iRV2.com RV Community - Are you about to start a new improvement on your RV or need some help with some maintenance? Do you need advice on what products to buy? Or maybe you can give others some advice? No matter where you fit in you'll find that iRV2 is a great community to join. Best of all it's totally FREE!

You are currently viewing our boards as a guest so you have limited access to our community. Please take the time to register and you will gain a lot of great new features including; the ability to participate in discussions, network with other RV owners, see fewer ads, upload photographs, create an RV blog, send private messages and so much, much more!

Old 06-11-2015, 04:40 PM   #2
Junior Member
GregNMiaFla's Avatar
Join Date: Jun 2015
Location: Barberton Ohio
Posts: 17
I'm speechless! this is beautiful and painful all at the same time. Just shows us that regardless of whats going on in our lives we need to take time for that special someone for they and us will not be around forever!.

1986 TravelMaster 37' Palm Beach Class A Gas
"Where Ever You Go There You Are"!
Greg,Mia,Rocky,and,Tai Tai
GregNMiaFla is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 06-11-2015, 05:39 PM   #3
Senior Member
monkey's Avatar
Join Date: Sep 2011
Location: Arkansas
Posts: 1,760
Nice Sonny.... Very nice.....
Monkey, pilot of a Great Dane hauler,
2015 Silverado 2500 Duramax/Alison 4x4 CrewCab 2016 Cougar 28SGS
monkey is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 06-11-2015, 05:54 PM   #4
Senior Member
Join Date: Apr 2010
Posts: 2,300
I don't tear up easily but that made me tear up.
2011 Berkshire 390bh
wnytaxman is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 06-12-2015, 03:56 AM   #5
Senior Member
Join Date: Dec 2014
Posts: 156
My WIFE is my LIFE and most importantly she is made aware of it on a regular basis!!!!!
Jerry & CP (copilot) Joyce RVM 109
2000 Coachmen Mirada 340 MBS
Chasing the Rainbow
pop-sicle is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 06-12-2015, 08:18 AM   #6
Senior Member/RVM #90
MSHappyCampers's Avatar

Monaco Owners Club
Join Date: Nov 2002
Location: Columbus, MS
Posts: 19,284
Thanks for sharing Sonny! That touched my heart!
Joe & Annette

2002 Monaco Windsor 40PBT, 2013 Honda CRV AWD
MSHappyCampers is online now   Reply With Quote
Old 06-12-2015, 08:31 AM   #7
Senior Member
road dogs's Avatar
Join Date: Jan 2013
Location: 7S5
Posts: 560
A touching story. My first marriage ended in divorce (she had an affair with my friend/business partner) and my second marriage ended when my wife died in my arms after a 20 year battle with cancer. Both situations were traumatic in different ways. Marriage is a wonderful thing but it requires a lot of work and understanding for each party. Joyce and I will be celebrating our 10 year anniversary in June, looking forward to many more??
2004.5 GMC SLT CCLB, Ride Rites, Turbo brake, EFI Live
2012 Arctic Fox 29 5T 5th Airborne, B&W, Prodigy
Papillon navigators Lily, Buddy and Willow
road dogs is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 06-12-2015, 08:38 PM   #8
Senior Member
slickest1's Avatar
Monaco Owners Club
Join Date: Jul 2011
Location: B.C.
Posts: 3,078
Wow, thanks for sharing that. My wife had a huge medical scare years back and it changed our way of looking at life. Enjoy every day like it may be your last.
Dennis & Marcie & Hook The Jack Russell, 2001 HR Imperial 38wds 350 Cummins, 07 Chevy Trailblazer/Blue Ox/Ready Brake, 04 Dodge 3500 Cummins,
slickest1 is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 06-12-2015, 08:52 PM   #9
Junior Member
Join Date: Jun 2015
Posts: 24
Wow, I'm sorry to hear this. It inspires me to continue to enjoy the small things with my future wife and not take her for granted.
CoolRV is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 06-12-2015, 09:12 PM   #10
Senior Member
Monaco Owners Club
Join Date: Feb 2011
Location: Signal Hill, California
Posts: 3,192
Thanks for sharing.........the DW and I will be celebrating 47 years together this July.
Sanford, Linda & R cats: Molly, Levi, Cody
2011 Monaco by Navistar RV
Good Sam Life Member Good Sam Hams Chapter
deSanford is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 06-12-2015, 09:14 PM   #11
Senior Member
Mr_D's Avatar
iRV2 No Limits Club
Join Date: May 2011
Location: Vancouver, WA
Posts: 22,382

We just found out my wife of 28 years has liver cancer! No idea what stage or the prognosis yet as we are awaiting the results of the latest MRI done yesterday..
I haven't cried over it till I read the OP's post
2009 45' Magna 630 w/Cummins ISX 650 HP/1950 Lbs Ft
Charter Good Sam Lifetime Member, FMCA, SKP
RV'ing since 1957, NRA Benefactor Life, towing '05 Odyssey
Mr_D is online now   Reply With Quote
Old 06-12-2015, 11:04 PM   #12
Senior Member
Krafty52k's Avatar
Entegra Owners Club
Join Date: Mar 2014
Location: Lancaster, New York
Posts: 1,722
A wonderful lesson for us all..thank you for sharing..

Sent from my iPhone using iRV2 - RV Forum
Krafty52k is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 06-12-2015, 11:33 PM   #13
Senior Member
sam60's Avatar

Monaco Owners Club
Vintage RV Owners Club
Join Date: Sep 2014
Posts: 602
Great share, Sonny.

My wife and I are only 54 and have been together for 35 years and married for 33 years. She has had some signs of early onset lately and has been hospitalized twice in the last 2 months.

I will be willing to carry her to the bathroom to go pee if needed.

Sorry for your loss.
sam60 is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 06-13-2015, 12:18 AM   #14
GypsyYears's Avatar
Join Date: May 2015
Posts: 80
Thank you for sharing - definitely got me teary eyed.

So many people get distracted by life and other things that they miss out on what really matters... The simple things, the truth, and respect; I feel like these things are lost more often than not in relationships these days.

Stay strong - I can only imagine what something like this would feel like. *hugs*

'04 Brave // Full-Timers working towards Homesteading
Tasha & Joseph and the fur kids - Dukkha and Buddy (woof!) <3 Lady With A Hippie Heart <3 Please follow my Adventures @ https://gypsyyears.wordpress.com/
GypsyYears is offline   Reply With Quote

Currently Active Users Viewing This Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)
Thread Tools Search this Thread
Search this Thread:

Advanced Search
Display Modes

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are Off
Pingbacks are Off
Refbacks are Off

Similar Threads
Thread Thread Starter Forum Replies Last Post
Scan Gauge D not able to read Tranny Temps Chef Guy Monaco Owner's Forum 14 08-02-2014 04:13 PM
Read this - Rope light melt/fire hogdriver Entegra Owner's Forum 3 07-22-2014 11:14 AM
Married Life:::::: ALBQ RV'ing Humor & Crazy but True Stories 1 04-08-2014 07:12 AM
Happily Married SonnyB RV'ing Humor & Crazy but True Stories 3 12-27-2013 05:45 PM
W22 Ignition Issue - please read this jmlarence Workhorse and Chevrolet Chassis Motorhome Forum 28 07-01-2013 01:30 PM

» Virginia Campgrounds

Reviews provided by

Our Communities

Our communities encompass many different hobbies and interests, but each one is built on friendly, intelligent membership.

» More about our Communities

Automotive Communities

Our Automotive communities encompass many different makes and models. From U.S. domestics to European Saloons.

» More about our Automotive Communities

Marine Communities

Our Marine websites focus on Cruising and Sailing Vessels, including forums and the largest cruising Wiki project on the web today.

» More about our Marine Communities

Copyright 2002-2015 Social Knowledge, LLC All Rights Reserved.

All times are GMT -6. The time now is 04:23 PM.

Powered by vBulletin® Version 3.8.8 Beta 1
Copyright ©2000 - 2016, vBulletin Solutions, Inc.