Meanest neighbors ever! ( long vent)

[jen&john]

I just have to get this off my shoulders, you will not believe my neighbours! Anyways, we just got a huge dump of snow yesterday and people are getting stuck on all the residential roads. (including DH and several of our neighbours over the last couple of days) So, my DH got out the snowmobile and drove it up and down our street for 15 minutes (3 pm in the afternoon) and tried to flatten out the huge drifts so people wouldn't get stuck. ( yes this is against the law, but just trying to be helpful). Well, our neighbours ( 2 older ladies sharing a house) called the police and we got a $230 ticket. The ladies did do us the courtesy of telling us that it was because we are bad neighbours (!!!) because of our children ( we have 2 daughters age 3 and 12....hmmmmm)
I do not know what to do about them. We are not home very much as we both work fulltime. The kids are never outside by themselves, and we didn't say anything about them letting their dog do their thing on our yard the one time we caught them red-handed so-to-speak. We just try to stay out of their way. We think the previous owners of our house had 3 rambunctious boys and they have transferred their dislike to us!
( maybe that is why they moved...)

My poor DH is livid and I feel sorry for him, he was just trying to help all of our neighbours and these women have a problem with us. They hate our RV and deliberately block our driveway whenever we leave town so that we can't park it when we get home. This has been going on for 6 years and I am about ready to throw in the towel and move!
Thanks in advance for reading this.
One Unhappy Camper
Jen

[jen&john]

I just have to get this off my shoulders, you will not believe my neighbours! Anyways, we just got a huge dump of snow yesterday and people are getting stuck on all the residential roads. (including DH and several of our neighbours over the last couple of days) So, my DH got out the snowmobile and drove it up and down our street for 15 minutes (3 pm in the afternoon) and tried to flatten out the huge drifts so people wouldn't get stuck. ( yes this is against the law, but just trying to be helpful). Well, our neighbours ( 2 older ladies sharing a house) called the police and we got a $230 ticket. The ladies did do us the courtesy of telling us that it was because we are bad neighbours (!!!) because of our children ( we have 2 daughters age 3 and 12....hmmmmm)
I do not know what to do about them. We are not home very much as we both work fulltime. The kids are never outside by themselves, and we didn't say anything about them letting their dog do their thing on our yard the one time we caught them red-handed so-to-speak. We just try to stay out of their way. We think the previous owners of our house had 3 rambunctious boys and they have transferred their dislike to us!
( maybe that is why they moved...)

My poor DH is livid and I feel sorry for him, he was just trying to help all of our neighbours and these women have a problem with us. They hate our RV and deliberately block our driveway whenever we leave town so that we can't park it when we get home. This has been going on for 6 years and I am about ready to throw in the towel and move!
Thanks in advance for reading this.
One Unhappy Camper
Jen

[mottybri]

Hi! Sorry to hear you are having problems with your neighbors. If you move, your new neighbors might be worse, so hang in there. Be kind to those who treat you badly, that gets them. They might think twice before doing something hateful, the next time. I was curious, why is it against the law to level out snow drifts to keep people from getting stuck? That seems like a stupid law. Sounds like you need to take a trip to get away from it all, and your neighbors. Chin up, spring is almost here.

[Curtis F.]

Mottybri, it is illegal to drvie snowmobiles on roads and streets.

Jen&John, Have you tried talking with those busybodies? Sometimes there is little that can be done about neighbors. Be the good person you want to be, and let them go their own way if they insist on being antagonistic.

I'm interested in hearing how they block your drive way while you are gone and what you have to do to gain access on your return.

Curt

[ArtB]

Don't know how your laws are but... Here you can call the police if someone blocks your driveway. If I remember correctly it's a $150 fine.

You should call the police to discuss. If it's deliberate it may be harassment.

You could use the data to talk to your neighbors or bring charges.

Good luck. Art

[Rich & Zara]

You speak of your DH. Ok, what is DH? I believe you are talking about your husband? ...but DH?

There are three houses on our cul-de-sac, we are in the middle and I'm proud to say our neighbors on either side are absolutely GREAT!

Have you ever had a heart to heart talk with the neighbor that is giving you the problem?

Rich

[Dsouthw524]

Sorry to hear that you have problem neighbors. I suggest going to court and explaining the motive for the snowmobiling. Many juristictions have a exception in that type of situation and/or a understaanding judge. Additionally, I would start taking pictures of the blocking of the driveway to document your claims. I would try to talk to the ladies - civily to see what their problem is from their opinion. If nothing good comes of it, go to court.

[ajbjrvers]

To' Jen&John,

I agree that we have to develope a "code" of abbreviations and such.

DH= Darling Husband
DW= Darling Wife
CP= CO-Pilot. one who also drives rig
NAV=front seat occupant, but doesn't drive
PASS> others in rig

MOHO=motorhome,,type "A"
5er=5th wheel trailer
TAT=tag-along trailer
PU=pop-up
TC= slide-in truck-camper
MOHO_C=type "C" motorhome

I'm sure there are others, but I think if we develope a system ,it would mean less typing

Now, as to your neighbors [?]

Throughout my career in management I was taught to keep your enemies as close to you as possible. In other words,

Get them to accept you and yours as human beings put here by GOD to enjoy life, Do this slowly and carefully,

Bring a peace offering to them.
Invite them to tea and crumpets??
Find out their likes and dis-likes.
Do little kind things for them like bring newspaper closer to door,etc. I'm sure you can think of other things to do.

Find out what makes them tick and you may find that they are sooo lonely, have little or no outside relationships that they jump on anything they don't understand bacause they get ATTENTION.

We all need this,

But, you won't find this out until you build a positive relationship with them, even if it is not genuine to start.

Who knows, once you understand each other ,friendship could develope and you would have good house-watchers when you're away.

Try it, it may just work, it cheaper than moving.

Hope this works.

Good luck== Aime==== AJBJRVERS

[rebelsbeach]

Just remember the golden rule.....and it's NOT Do unto others before they do unto you....

<UL TYPE=SQUARE>DS= dear son
DD= dear daughter
BIL= brother in law
SIL= sister in law
LOL= laughing out loud
ROFL= rolling on floor laughing...sometimes also
ROFLMAO= "my a$$ off"[/list]

[chasfm11]

I feel your pain. In our first house, we had very difficult neighbors (the husband beat his much taller wife and, after their divorce, ended up in jail for assault ). We learned after we bought that house that those same neighbors had driven out the previous owners of our house. It would take hours to describe all of problems that we faced. While I did buy a firearm to protect my family while we lived there, we managed to achieve a truce of sorts that allowed us to live in peace (with constant vigilance on our part)

In the 5 houses we've had since then, we've always actively sought a positive relationship with our neighbors, no matter how eccentric they were. Yes, we did have to bite our tongue a lot to keep from responding to some outrageous comments and ideas that we heard but the peace that we bought with our silence was well worth it. I'd offer these additional thoughts:
1. Neighbors like yours have a lot more time than you do. They will always be able to take advantage of situations like the snowmobile or blocking your driveway when you leave if any level of hostilities continues.
2. I'd echo others and recommend multiple peace initiatives with them, even if you are rebuffed. Sometimes, however, relationships are so soured by past events that no truce is possible. I'd set a time limit of 6 months and work as hard as possible during that time to establish a friendly relationship. At the end of the period, you will either have a better atmosphere or it is time to move.
3. The damage that you do to yourselves and your family by staying in such a diffcult environment is greater than you can imagine. Sometimes people's lives grow to be totally consumed by a situation like yours. Your childern will come to understand your pain and suffer because if it. It just isn't worth it.

Just my $.02 worth.

[jen&john]

Thanks for all the responses and great ideas, now here is an update. After the police officer ticketed my dear husband, the police cruiser got stuck on our street and it took 90 minutes and a few people to push him to the end of our street. (my hubby was not one of them.)
My policy has been to just ignore these ladies and turn the other cheek. I do not want to stoop to their level. But, when it seems to be their pleasure to find things to harrass us with, I wonder why they chose us of all the people on our street? I heard from one neighbour that these ladies are telling people that I am stealing flowers from their yard!! We also see them walking their dogs and speaking to various people on our street and pointing to our house. My husband thinks that these ladies ARE the reason the previous owners moved.
The ladies also told my husband yesterday that they research city by-laws looking for things that we are doing wrong! He told them that they were petty and mean and had too much time on their hands and to move somewhere with no kids. Our neighbour on the other side of us was told by these ladies that they had called bylaw officers to take pictures of his sidewalk because it wasnt shovelled.

Anyways, on the front page of the Saturday newspaper there was a picture of a man snowmobiling down a main road. My husband is going to fight the ticket and take that picture with him to court.

I think we are going to make more of an effort to socialize with our other neighbours so we can present a united front against these poisonous women.
( what disturbs me a little, is that I used to shovel their front walk, and mow the lawn/weed their gravel sidewalk in our shared side yard before they went bananas, they sure don't bring that up when they tell us what bad neighbours we are!!!)
Thx all! I feel better just by venting!

[CalgaryCowboy]

It sure would be nice if we could hear from the other party(s).

In conflict resolution, I've always found that one must listen to all parties in order to get close to the truth. This can determine the under lying reason for the conflict.

[Curtis F.]

Rich & Zara and others. Here is a page with common RVing abreviations Natasha's Camping site. Here is a generic site for definition of internet terms and abbreviations Net Lingo It doesn't have all of the RV terms in it, but what you can't find on Natasha's you can probably find on Net Lingo

Curt

[doc]

I guess I missed something here. How is it "helping other people in the neighborhood", by running up and down the street with a two stroke engine blasting and throwing a rooster tail of snow?
You reckon he might have been doing it to have fun and didn't realize/care how much noise that thing makes.
Besides, are drifts easier to plow or move if they aren't packed down?

We know little about snow down South here except you have to go the grocery store and buy milk and bread when it snows. (Might be a law in some states )