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Old 02-02-2016, 09:28 AM   #43
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II told the Kids, I have never seen a U-Haul follow a hearse. So we will enjoy what we have while here on earth.
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Old 02-02-2016, 09:35 AM   #44
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We have been very direct with our four children about money. We always said that we paid for college and their first car. After that, they are on their own. We would joke that their inheritance was a good start in life, not having something after we are dead. They all accept that fully. When I retired at 60 (DH had retired two years earlier), my oldest, who happens to be a banker, said he really wanted us to enjoy our money and not worry about leaving anything. His in-laws were concentrating on living cheap so they could leave a large sum to each of their children, and he thought it was dreadful.

I know I am lucky, but I also know that a lot of the luck comes from open conversations with the kids. The kids don't need to know how much you have, but they might worry if they think you are making impulse buys. I just tell them we are doing fine, and they mind their own business.
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Old 02-03-2016, 08:47 AM   #45
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Wolfcreek,

Just a thought, but is your son concerned about you being on the road with crazies? Maybe worried something will happen to you while out camping and someone taking advantage of you? Are you both in good physical and medical condition, is that a concern? There may be a perfectly logical reason for his appearance of concern. May not be financial at all.

When we first talked about doing this our daughter was concerned because we would be away during Christmas and my Birthday. I told her I never wanted to spend another birthday in the cold and they could come to us (at a warm place at Christmas).

It wasn't a concern about us spending money at all but because they would miss us when we were gone for months at a time. She is worried about someone hurting us on the road. I told her I will never sit at home in a chair and wait to die and she should know her Dad and I better than that. We are going to go have fun and be in the warmth instead of cold old winter as soon as I retire in 17 month and 4 days. Not that I am counting much!

Just ask your son what his concern is and you may be very surprised with his answer. He may just want his Mom and Dad safe at home.

Good Luck and enjoy your rig. Lynne
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Old 02-03-2016, 09:48 AM   #46
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Wolfcreek,

Just a thought, but is your son concerned about you being on the road with crazies? Maybe worried something will happen to you while out camping and someone taking advantage of you? Are you both in good physical and medical condition, is that a concern? There may be a perfectly logical reason for his appearance of concern. May not be financial at all.

When we first talked about doing this our daughter was concerned because we would be away during Christmas and my Birthday. I told her I never wanted to spend another birthday in the cold and they could come to us (at a warm place at Christmas).

It wasn't a concern about us spending money at all but because they would miss us when we were gone for months at a time. She is worried about someone hurting us on the road. I told her I will never sit at home in a chair and wait to die and she should know her Dad and I better than that. We are going to go have fun and be in the warmth instead of cold old winter as soon as I retire in 17 month and 4 days. Not that I am counting much!

Just ask your son what his concern is and you may be very surprised with his answer. He may just want his Mom and Dad safe at home.

Good Luck and enjoy your rig. Lynne
Yes we are in good health and physically fine. I actually had typed out a reply that was lengthy, but deleted it for being to much information. Just have to say our situation is very complicated. Thanks for concerns and advice.
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Old 02-03-2016, 06:17 PM   #47
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it's your kids and you raised them so you know more about them than anyone here. I still say your best bet is the next time you get the weird feeling from them is to bring it up and get it all out on the table. Find out the reasons they object. It may not be money related at all.....it may be more they worry about you being far away from them and something happening to you guys or something. Give your kids the benefit of the doubt. I know I would with my kids but I would also have zero problems reminding them that they're my kids and no matter what their age I still run the show.
My thoughts exactly!
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Old 02-03-2016, 06:32 PM   #48
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My daughter was fine with my buying a new MH. She loves it. She's my only heir.

However, she flipped out when I told her that I became engaged to a woman 3 1/2 years younger than she (this was last week and we haven't spoken since).
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Old 02-03-2016, 06:41 PM   #49
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Our Kids don't worry about it, they know what's left, goes to the Kat
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Old 02-03-2016, 07:18 PM   #50
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I too thought maybe their concern was for health, or dangers of the road, but of course, money is a possibility.


Any way you cut it, I have another problem with the OP however. I might seek the council of my friends, or maybe siblings or Rabbi or minister for family issues, and clearly would attempt to have a clear and concise conversation about any reservations an adult child might have.

I would not seek the council of the folks who inhabit the ether. I have found plenty of good and reasonable advice and data on things technical on the internet. I have found very little quality advice on complicated personal and moral issues on the internet.

I suspect that the varied responses were of some value to the OP, however, most of them were wild guesses based on the respondent's experiences, and not the actual situation of the OP, and the responses that the OP seemed to appreciate most were those who said he should have that conversation or not worry about it...

This is kind of a personal thing with me. I am not too likely to share personal issues with strangers. This could be that the son in question was raised well and feels the dangers of the road are upsetting him, or raised poorly and is greedy, or any of several other possibilities. None of which could any of us possibly know.

My only advice is similar to that of several others. Do what feels right for you, and explain that to your child. Ask what upsets him, and resolve that if you can, or if it is something you can influence. If it is not, do your best to not worry about it.
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Old 02-03-2016, 07:21 PM   #51
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Hi, I am adoptable!
LOL!!
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Old 02-04-2016, 03:04 AM   #52
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Originally Posted by KSagal View Post
I too thought maybe their concern was for health, or dangers of the road, but of course, money is a possibility.


Any way you cut it, I have another problem with the OP however. I might seek the council of my friends, or maybe siblings or Rabbi or minister for family issues, and clearly would attempt to have a clear and concise conversation about any reservations an adult child might have.

I would not seek the council of the folks who inhabit the ether. I have found plenty of good and reasonable advice and data on things technical on the internet. I have found very little quality advice on complicated personal and moral issues on the internet.

I suspect that the varied responses were of some value to the OP, however, most of them were wild guesses based on the respondent's experiences, and not the actual situation of the OP, and the responses that the OP seemed to appreciate most were those who said he should have that conversation or not worry about it...

This is kind of a personal thing with me. I am not too likely to share personal issues with strangers. This could be that the son in question was raised well and feels the dangers of the road are upsetting him, or raised poorly and is greedy, or any of several other possibilities. None of which could any of us possibly know.

My only advice is similar to that of several others. Do what feels right for you, and explain that to your child. Ask what upsets him, and resolve that if you can, or if it is something you can influence. If it is not, do your best to not worry about it.
I simply posted we had gotten some negative feedback on our MH purchase. Just was wondering how many in the RV community had any similar circumstances happen to them(or not). Not that deep.....
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Old 02-04-2016, 10:40 AM   #53
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I've joked many times with our kids that when they get out on their own they need to find houses with large driveways because I'll be rotating between them. Well.....they think it's a joke.
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Old 02-04-2016, 12:24 PM   #54
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I completely understand your situation. My daughter in law at the time, strongly opposed our plan to full time in our RV, which we were able to pay for from an inheritance. Apparently, she was looking forward to that money remaining intact for when we died. She tried to make our lives miserable and tried to make us feel guilty. It didn't work. We made sure they were aware, we worked hard all of our life and we deserved to retire in any way we saw fit. She is fortunately out of the picture now and we are in our 4th year of full timing. It is sad to not have your children's support, but we can't stop enjoying life because they disapprove.
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Old 02-04-2016, 09:10 PM   #55
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Here's what you need to do....talk, talk, talk, talk, and then talk some more. They're your kids, don't be afraid to talk to them.

We're spending the kids inheritance, but their will still be plenty left when we go. I hate to see families fight and distance themselves from one another. Every so often, as the parent, you have to bite your tongue and work things out.
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Old 02-04-2016, 10:23 PM   #56
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I have an acquaintance whose son referred to his Mercedes as our Mercedes. He was quick to remind his son that it was his Mercedes. .He worked for it and paid for it. .when was ready to get rid of it, and his son showed interest, he offered to sell it to him at book value.nHe taught his son well and his son has since learned to earn and pay for the things he wants. Good lesson. ?I wish more of today's society would learn this lesson. I always encouraged my parents to spend their money on themselves and enjoy the fruits of their labor. I think you should do the same. You raised your kids and paid for their youth. Should you leave them something? Probably. Should they assume they have a right to your money? Absolutely not! Happy motoring.
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