My Willa is going to be fine.....

[Seajay]

On July 3 My Willa found a small lump in her right breast. I was in my recliner watching something on TV when she came to our living room. Tears were flowing down her face and she was very sad. I immediately went to her concerned for her well being. She said she hated to tell me but she had found a lump in her breast. She was taking her bath and, being a retired nurse, she was inspecting her breast for lumps. Some time ago Willa had a breast reduction and she has some scar tissue in her breasts which I am familiar with. She went to our bedroom and laid down on our bed and I could feel the ''lump'' she was talking about. In my life I do not believe I have ever had anything hit me like this did. My mother died of cancer as well as my cousin Sarah and a good friend of ours, Linda, has breast cancer now so the presumption of probable cancer hit home in my house and to someone that I love with all my being. We drew strength from each other as we simply lay there in each others arms as a million things raced thru our heads. I asked God to put his hands on her and make her well and not to take her from me as I would surely die if he did. I told him how I had suffered with the sudden loss of my wife Linda and I begged that he would not put me thru that tribulation again because I am older now and not so strong and I would not have the will to live should I lose My Willa. Needless to say, Sunday was a long day of tears and prayers. I posted a notice on here requesting prayers for me and My Willa that she would be made well and received overwhelming responses from many people wishing us well and praying for us. You will never how good it makes me feel to know that others care enough to post back to us. On Monday after little sleep Sunday nite and lots of worry walks thru the house at all hours of the nite we sat down and had a long talk. I told Willa that God would not do this to me again. I told her that this was NOT CANCER because God would not allow it to be cancer. I told Willa that it was a syst or perhaps calcification of some sort from her earlier breast surgery. I told her that she would be fine and that was the way it was. From then on, I would cry where she could not see me, and I would be brave and strong for both of us. We fretted thru Monday and for a diversion we went to lunch with two of our friends. We drove up to Boone and had good fellowship and enjoyed a meal. We drove home in the rain and I could tell that Willa's thoughts were far away. I found a spot and pulled over and gave her a big hug and re affirmed my love for her. Tears rained down her face and she told me of her love for me and she said the last thing she wanted to do was worry me. We sat and talked with the rain on the windshield and the tears on our faces and I told her for sure that this ''thing'' was simply a cyst and it would amount to nothing more than a tiny scar, if that much. We came home and crawled in our bed and slept in a cuddle for the nite. We woke early and at eight oclock she called her OB/GYN and told them her problems. They gave her a two oclock appointment and we arrived at one thirty. We held hands in the waiting room and sometimes tears would appear and we would just smile and say it was going to be ok and we knew this. They called her back and she promised that she would have them call me back when she went to talk to the doctor. In about thirty minutes a young lady came out and asked for ''Willa's husband''......
I sat down in the doctors office before Willa got there. He was shuffling papers and he looked up at me as I tried to make idol chatter and not cry. Willa came in and we held hands and were very close on the sofa. He told us that he was sure that the ''thing'' was a simple cyst and nothing more. He said it had none of the features of a cancerous growth and that both of her breasts appeared disease free. God is indeed good He did admonish Willa that it would be a good idea to get a mammogram and have a surgeon look at it but he would bet his car that it was a simple cyst. I could not hold my feelings any longer and I cried for happy...... Tomorrow we go for a mammogram and on Friday we go to a specialist so they can determine if they want to do a needle biopsy or simply remove the ''thing'' and be done with it. Personally I vote for removal but that is up to the doctors.....


MY WILLA IS FINE, AND SHE IS GONNA BE FINE, AND THAT IS THE WAY IT IS....


As I sat in the waiting room a million things ripped thru my mind. How Willa and I had met by pure accident. How we had slowly fell in love and built a trusting relationship with each other. How shy she was when we met and for a long time after. And how I was not sure I could ever truly love another woman after My Linda died so suddenly. I remembered the time we were sitting on her sofa watching television with her cuddled in my arms. I looked at her and asked a question that I already knew the answer to. I asked if she was falling in love with me? She turned sideways and thru those big brown eyes she smiled and said ''Yes, I sure am''............ In my life I have never feared much and never ran away from fear but this scared the hell out of me. I knew I had strong feelings for her but I hesitated to say the three words. I swore to myself that under no circumstances would I hurt this wonderful lady and that I would end our relationship if I could not tell her that ''I loved you''......... I told her this in all honesty and she just smiled and said.....''OH, you dont have to SAY IT silly boy,,,,,,,,,,I CAN SEE IT IN YOUR EYES''...... ''Somday you will get the courage to tell me and till then,,,,,,, I will just read it in your eyes''..........


On the way to Alaska in 05 we stopped at the WELCOME TO ALASKA sign on the Canadian border with Alaska. There is a large bench directly over the line with Canada written on one end and USA written on the other with a large line in the middle of the bench.. Willa sat in Alaska and I sat in Canada and, for the first time since we met I leaned forward and whispered ''I love you Willa Brown''. ''I knew that all along silly boy''.........
We became engaged and on July 21 2006 we were married at Terrapin Point, Niagara Falls, USA.
Since then I have probably said ''I love you Willa'' thousands of times''..


Something like this ''thing'' can bring you to total reality. We drift along in life traveling in our motor homes and going home to a snug house with all our worldly goods stacked in the basement and the cars in the garage. We check our bank account on the computer in the assurance that we have funds to live a lifestyle we have grown accustom to living. We are smug in our success and happy in our life with someone we love. Our life is good and great plans are on the horizon for the coming months and years. It takes one tiny lump to throw it all in the trash. One tiny lump that makes everything worthless. One tiny lump to possibly take away the one I love and make every material thing I have worth nothing. Believe me, I have stood in those ''nothing shoes'' before and all that I had was worth nothing and I had more than many and it meant nothing to me. I thought about that Sunday night as I walked the walls of this house while Willa slept from exhaustion. This ''thing'' brought back the reality of how frail we are and how precious her loved one is to me. How that if I dont have her, I dont have anything of actual ''worth'' and life would stop for me.


This is getting long and I am sure you are getting bored.



''Really love someone''... ''Love them with all your being'' .. ''Love them more than your own life''
''Love them with every minute of your life''
And remember............ Everything is NOTHING if you dont have someone to love...


MY WILLA IS FINE AND I AM SURE SHE WILL REMAIN THAT WAY FOR MANY YEARS TO COME.......
Again, Many thanks for your prayers and well wishes.
May God bless you all ......





God bless our vets....

[fansill]

YAAAAAHHHHHH.....YIPPEEE>>>!!!!!!

Seajay, I am so happy for you both. Have a dance together tonight and hold each other tight and know that the dance is destined to go on for a long while yet.

Hoping to meet you both someday.

Faith and Bob

[4Knights]

God bless!

[GOLDWINGER2]

Power of prayer!
J

[RickO]

That's great news Seajay!!!

All the best...

rick

[LibbyLA]

Seajay,

Thanks for the update! I'm so happy that you and Willa have gotten good news, and so quickly.

liz

[campclan]

Yeah!!!

[Larry & Rita]

Prayer and faith in God are the strongest medicine there is.
Love to you both from me and Rita.
Someday we will meet each other, until then God Bless you both.

[bigskymt]

Thanks for the update. Our prayers will now be of thanks.

[Wayne M]

Great, great news. Thanks for sharing. Prayers still coming Willa's way.

[BounderRVer]

Amen!

[srrobe]

today truely is a great day!

[bdpreece]

Thank God!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[JohnH59]

Seajay,

You are one hell of a man! It truly sounds like you and Willa have been blessed to find each other. Our prayers continue to go with you.

John and Leslie