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Old 10-30-2011, 10:01 AM   #1
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Noah's Ark (Funny)

Noah’s Ark

The Lord contacted Noah and commanded he build an Ark, for in one year's time a flood would cover the earth.

Specifications were sent and Noah accepted the task.

Exactly one year later, the Lord returned to find a grey- haired Noah, but no Ark. "Where is my Ark?" he inquired. "I have tried Lord", Noah replied but there have been problems.

Your plans did not meet the current standards and I had to have them redrawn. The Dept. of Occupational Health and Safety wanted fire sprinklers added. My neighbor objected claiming I was violating zoning laws by constructing the ark in the backyard. I have lodged a rezoning application with the local council, which has referred it to the Land and Environmental Court. I had a problem getting wood, as there is a ban on cutting wood to protect the Woodpecker. I finally convinced the Dept of Conservation I Actually need the wood to save the Woodpeckers, however the National Parks and Wildlife won't let me catch any Woodpeckers, so… no Woodpeckers on the ark.


The Carpenters Union went on strike and I had to negotiate with the Dept of Industrial Relations, I now have 16 Carpenters, but still no Woodpeckers. I did start to collect other animals, but the SPCA has written me up. Also, the EPA has notified me I am required to lodge an environmental impact statement regarding your proposed flood. They also have some objections to your claims of absolute power.
The Dept of Lands and Water Conservation want a detailed map of the proposed flood plan. I have sent them an atlas. The Equal Opportunity Commission claims I am discriminating if I don't take on board non-believers. The Taxation Department is claiming I will need to pay fringe benefits. Customs is claiming I need to register the Ark as a recreational watercraft and that I will need a Boat Driver's License. I have appointments to see Workman’s Compensation, and the Plumbing Industry Commission wants to do an audit. Okanagan Valley Water is pushing for back-flow protection. I think with luck that I may finish construction in a year or two.

The Lord replied "never mind", a flood is not needed to destroy the earth, bureaucracy will do it for me!
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Old 10-30-2011, 02:59 PM   #2
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It's funny because it's true (apologies to Homer Simpson).
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Old 11-01-2011, 02:56 PM   #3
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This is funny, but it describes in fairly good detail why our economy is at a standstill.
There are far more regulations that prohibit us, anyone, from doing anything, anywhere, anytime. These regulations are in place at the local level, county level, state level and federal level, and they do not necessarily compliment each other, but often are conflicting!
GOOD LUCK

Quote:
Originally Posted by dogpatch View Post
Noah’s Ark

The Lord contacted Noah and commanded he build an Ark, for in one year's time a flood would cover the earth.

Specifications were sent and Noah accepted the task.

Exactly one year later, the Lord returned to find a grey- haired Noah, but no Ark. "Where is my Ark?" he inquired. "I have tried Lord", Noah replied but there have been problems.

Your plans did not meet the current standards and I had to have them redrawn. The Dept. of Occupational Health and Safety wanted fire sprinklers added. My neighbor objected claiming I was violating zoning laws by constructing the ark in the backyard. I have lodged a rezoning application with the local council, which has referred it to the Land and Environmental Court. I had a problem getting wood, as there is a ban on cutting wood to protect the Woodpecker. I finally convinced the Dept of Conservation I Actually need the wood to save the Woodpeckers, however the National Parks and Wildlife won't let me catch any Woodpeckers, so… no Woodpeckers on the ark.


The Carpenters Union went on strike and I had to negotiate with the Dept of Industrial Relations, I now have 16 Carpenters, but still no Woodpeckers. I did start to collect other animals, but the SPCA has written me up. Also, the EPA has notified me I am required to lodge an environmental impact statement regarding your proposed flood. They also have some objections to your claims of absolute power.
The Dept of Lands and Water Conservation want a detailed map of the proposed flood plan. I have sent them an atlas. The Equal Opportunity Commission claims I am discriminating if I don't take on board non-believers. The Taxation Department is claiming I will need to pay fringe benefits. Customs is claiming I need to register the Ark as a recreational watercraft and that I will need a Boat Driver's License. I have appointments to see Workman’s Compensation, and the Plumbing Industry Commission wants to do an audit. Okanagan Valley Water is pushing for back-flow protection. I think with luck that I may finish construction in a year or two.

The Lord replied "never mind", a flood is not needed to destroy the earth, bureaucracy will do it for me!
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Old 11-01-2011, 07:10 PM   #4
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How true....

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Old 11-03-2011, 10:19 AM   #5
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Yup, this is a sign of the times....
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