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10-30-2011, 09:01 AM
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#1
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Senior Dude
Triple E Owners Club
Join Date: Sep 2010
Location: Somewhere, BC.
Posts: 5,613
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Noah's Ark (Funny)
Noah’s Ark
The Lord contacted Noah and commanded he build an Ark, for in one year's time a flood would cover the earth.
Specifications were sent and Noah accepted the task.
Exactly one year later, the Lord returned to find a grey- haired Noah, but no Ark. "Where is my Ark?" he inquired. "I have tried Lord", Noah replied but there have been problems.
Your plans did not meet the current standards and I had to have them redrawn. The Dept. of Occupational Health and Safety wanted fire sprinklers added. My neighbor objected claiming I was violating zoning laws by constructing the ark in the backyard. I have lodged a rezoning application with the local council, which has referred it to the Land and Environmental Court. I had a problem getting wood, as there is a ban on cutting wood to protect the Woodpecker. I finally convinced the Dept of Conservation I Actually need the wood to save the Woodpeckers, however the National Parks and Wildlife won't let me catch any Woodpeckers, so… no Woodpeckers on the ark.
The Carpenters Union went on strike and I had to negotiate with the Dept of Industrial Relations, I now have 16 Carpenters, but still no Woodpeckers. I did start to collect other animals, but the SPCA has written me up. Also, the EPA has notified me I am required to lodge an environmental impact statement regarding your proposed flood. They also have some objections to your claims of absolute power.
The Dept of Lands and Water Conservation want a detailed map of the proposed flood plan. I have sent them an atlas. The Equal Opportunity Commission claims I am discriminating if I don't take on board non-believers. The Taxation Department is claiming I will need to pay fringe benefits. Customs is claiming I need to register the Ark as a recreational watercraft and that I will need a Boat Driver's License. I have appointments to see Workman’s Compensation, and the Plumbing Industry Commission wants to do an audit. Okanagan Valley Water is pushing for back-flow protection. I think with luck that I may finish construction in a year or two.
The Lord replied "never mind", a flood is not needed to destroy the earth, bureaucracy will do it for me!
__________________
Les (RVM12), Bonnie and 4 leggers Shelby and Tea Cup
Triple E Empress A3802FW Diesel Pusher 330 Cat
FMCA-420438 Good Sam
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10-30-2011, 01:59 PM
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#2
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Senior Member
iRV2 No Limits Club
Join Date: May 2011
Location: Tempe, AZ
Posts: 1,833
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It's funny because it's true (apologies to Homer Simpson).
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11-01-2011, 01:56 PM
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#3
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Senior Member
Join Date: Nov 2008
Location: Bakersfield CA
Posts: 259
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This is funny, but it describes in fairly good detail why our economy is at a standstill.
There are far more regulations that prohibit us, anyone, from doing anything, anywhere, anytime. These regulations are in place at the local level, county level, state level and federal level, and they do not necessarily compliment each other, but often are conflicting!
GOOD LUCK
Quote:
Originally Posted by dogpatch
Noah’s Ark
The Lord contacted Noah and commanded he build an Ark, for in one year's time a flood would cover the earth.
Specifications were sent and Noah accepted the task.
Exactly one year later, the Lord returned to find a grey- haired Noah, but no Ark. "Where is my Ark?" he inquired. "I have tried Lord", Noah replied but there have been problems.
Your plans did not meet the current standards and I had to have them redrawn. The Dept. of Occupational Health and Safety wanted fire sprinklers added. My neighbor objected claiming I was violating zoning laws by constructing the ark in the backyard. I have lodged a rezoning application with the local council, which has referred it to the Land and Environmental Court. I had a problem getting wood, as there is a ban on cutting wood to protect the Woodpecker. I finally convinced the Dept of Conservation I Actually need the wood to save the Woodpeckers, however the National Parks and Wildlife won't let me catch any Woodpeckers, so… no Woodpeckers on the ark.
The Carpenters Union went on strike and I had to negotiate with the Dept of Industrial Relations, I now have 16 Carpenters, but still no Woodpeckers. I did start to collect other animals, but the SPCA has written me up. Also, the EPA has notified me I am required to lodge an environmental impact statement regarding your proposed flood. They also have some objections to your claims of absolute power.
The Dept of Lands and Water Conservation want a detailed map of the proposed flood plan. I have sent them an atlas. The Equal Opportunity Commission claims I am discriminating if I don't take on board non-believers. The Taxation Department is claiming I will need to pay fringe benefits. Customs is claiming I need to register the Ark as a recreational watercraft and that I will need a Boat Driver's License. I have appointments to see Workman’s Compensation, and the Plumbing Industry Commission wants to do an audit. Okanagan Valley Water is pushing for back-flow protection. I think with luck that I may finish construction in a year or two.
The Lord replied "never mind", a flood is not needed to destroy the earth, bureaucracy will do it for me!
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11-01-2011, 06:10 PM
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#4
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Moderator Emeritus
Ford Super Duty Owner
Join Date: Aug 2000
Location: Bryan, TX when not traveling.
Posts: 22,948
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How true....
Ken
__________________
Amateur Radio Operator (KE5DFR)|No Longer Full-Time! - 2023 Cougar 22MLS toted by 2022 F150, 3.5L EcoBoost Tow Max FX4 Lariat Travel with one Standard Schnauzer and one small Timneh African Gray Parrot, retired mechanical engineer
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11-03-2011, 09:19 AM
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#5
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Senior Member
Monaco Owners Club
Join Date: May 2003
Location: Head of the Lakes, Minnesota
Posts: 575
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Yup, this is a sign of the times....
__________________
FMCA# 266040 HRRVC# 84109
2000 32' HR Vacationer w/Banks
'98 Subaru Outback 5 spd toad
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