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Old 04-04-2013, 05:36 PM   #29
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Mama always said if I dint get me some more book learnin' I would grow up to be a ditch digger.
Man I showed her...Got me a gov't job and growed up to be HEAD ditch digger.
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Old 04-04-2013, 05:47 PM   #30
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Quote:
Originally Posted by vsheetz View Post
"what part of NO don't you understand - the N or the O??"

"don't eat the yellow snow"

"don't go where the puppy-dogs go"

And if I talked back to my mother, there were no words - just smacks.

He was a great guy. Firm, but reasonable. Huge amount of common sense. Made you stand on your own two feet and accept the consequences of your actions, but always there to help if needed.

I miss him.
Little bit of Frank Zappa there.

If one of us was sulking with their lower lip stuck out - "a bird is going to poop on it."

If I made faces at my siblings - "your face is going to stay that way." That one really worried me, I thought that your face would randomly freeze at any time.
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Old 04-04-2013, 08:12 PM   #31
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No good deed goes unpunished.
That's tighter than bulls [moderator edit] at fly time.
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Old 04-04-2013, 08:17 PM   #32
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My Dad, whenever I got dumped by a girl, (which happened more times than I like to think about):

"Relax, women are like streetcars, there's one along every couple minutes".

When's the last time you saw a streetcar?
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Old 04-04-2013, 08:49 PM   #33
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My Dad used to say one day we will all be eating rice. Years later I was diagnosed as a Celiac and now eat alot of rice based things.
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Old 04-04-2013, 09:24 PM   #34
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My grandfather used to tell me that no matter how far
I got from home. If I did something I shouldn't the news
would get back home before I could.
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Old 04-04-2013, 09:27 PM   #35
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Because I'm you mother and I said so, that's why!
I'd ask "what were you thinking" but the answer is obvious!
Make sure your brain is engaged before putting your mouth into gear.
Always keep your words soft and sweet, you never know when you might have to eat them.
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Old 04-04-2013, 09:37 PM   #36
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There is the famous
" I'll give you something to cry about" and
" never count on money that is not in your hands"
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Old 04-04-2013, 09:46 PM   #37
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If grasshoppers carried machine guns the crows wouldn't mess with them.
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Old 04-04-2013, 10:09 PM   #38
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Off like a dirty shirt! (Dad, as we backed out of the driveway headed for somewhere.)
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Old 04-04-2013, 10:16 PM   #39
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Like water off a ducks back..........
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Old 04-04-2013, 10:36 PM   #40
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Dumbest question of all:
You want me to beat your [moderator edit]
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Old 04-05-2013, 12:02 AM   #41
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We're off like a herd of turtles in a sand storm, not very fast but consistent as heck!

Never try to teach a pig to sing, it wastes your time and annoys the pig!

"The truth is incontrovertible, panic may resent it, ignorance may ignore it, malice may distort it, but there it is!" Winston Churchill.
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Old 04-05-2013, 06:30 AM   #42
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Its hotter than a freshly f%()& skunk in forest fire. Was something I heard once I was older.
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