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Old 01-11-2012, 02:03 PM   #141
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Originally Posted by GMRHost View Post
"Hello, 9-1-1? I was out huntin' with cousin Dub and he just keeled over Dead! Whazzat? Well, I dunno if'n he's dead or not. Yeah, I'll make sure..."
*click* BOOM!
"Ok, I made sure. Now what?"
A guy was out hunting and got lost.
He fired 3 shoots in the air......nobody came!
A short time later he fired 3 more...still nobody!
Then he ran out of arrows.
Mel

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Old 01-14-2012, 11:32 AM   #142
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You know it's cold out when... dog poo goes from being a slip hazard to a trip hazard.

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Old 01-14-2012, 02:19 PM   #143
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After an instrument has been fully assembled, extra components will be found on the bench.
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Old 01-26-2012, 05:50 PM   #144
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Quote my ex used to say:

"IF I had known I was going to live this long, I'd have taken better care of myself".
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Old 01-26-2012, 05:51 PM   #145
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Energizer Bunny arrested and charged with battery.
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Old 02-02-2012, 09:16 AM   #146
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Sign at a restaurant : Try our ham & bean soup, you'll never get better.
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I have 2
Old 02-04-2012, 03:00 PM   #147
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I made these up. They did not come off the net.

Quantum physics is neither here nor there.

I don't believe in reincarnation, but I may have in a previous life.
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Old 02-04-2012, 05:25 PM   #148
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Sign at a restaurant : Try our ham & bean soup, you'll never get better.

Sign in butcher shop: "Nobody beats OUR meat."
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fishing
Old 02-04-2012, 05:50 PM   #149
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Give a man a fish, he eats for a day.

Teach a man to fish, amd he'll learn how to drink beer all afternoon!

Dan
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Old 02-04-2012, 07:13 PM   #150
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Give a man a fish, he eats for a day.

Teach a man to fish, amd he'll learn how to drink beer all afternoon!

Dan
I always told my married friends if they teach their husbands to fish, they would be rid of him for the weekend.
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Old 02-04-2012, 10:24 PM   #151
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I always told my married friends if they teach their husbands to fish, they would be rid of him for the weekend.
That would make at least four people happy. You, DH, beer retailer and beer manufacturer.
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Old 02-04-2012, 10:55 PM   #152
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Give a man a fish, he eats for a day.

Teach a man to fish, amd he'll learn how to drink beer all afternoon!

Dan
Love it. LOL


Quote:
Originally Posted by LadyFitz... View Post
I always told my married friends if they teach their husbands to fish, they would be rid of him for the weekend.
Love this one even more!
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Old 03-19-2012, 05:18 AM   #153
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My internet bride was delivered today, she's the WiFi always dreamed of.
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Old 03-19-2012, 10:00 AM   #154
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Have to ask first. Are Polish jokes ok? I don't want to offend anyone.

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