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Old 10-20-2011, 09:45 PM   #57
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Old 10-22-2011, 09:23 AM   #58
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How much does a dead battery cost? Nothing, it's free of charge.
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Old 10-22-2011, 10:39 AM   #59
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...Rolled into a service station with a sign that said,"FREE GAS."
Asked the attendant about it, and he just grinned, and said, "Ya got some? My tanks're about EMPTY!"
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Old 10-23-2011, 01:59 AM   #60
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Sign in cafe, "Free Lunch.......Tomorrow."
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Old 10-23-2011, 02:01 PM   #61
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Does an RV salesman ever lie? Only if they move their lips.
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Old 10-23-2011, 07:14 PM   #62
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Eschew obfuscation.
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Old 10-23-2011, 07:30 PM   #63
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If you choke a Smurf what color do they turn?
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Old 10-24-2011, 01:25 AM   #64
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Top 10 Reasons to Procrastinate:

1.
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Old 10-24-2011, 05:17 AM   #65
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A man comes home from an exhausting day at work, plops down on the couch in front of the television, and tells his wife, "Get me a beer before it starts." The wife sighs and gets him a beer. Fifteen minutes later, he says, "Get me another beer before it starts." She looks cross, but fetches another beer and slams it down next to him. He finishes that beer and a few minutes later says, "Quick, get me another beer, it's going to start any minute." The wife is furious. She yells at him "Is that all you're going to do tonight? Drink beer and sit in front of that TV? You're nothing but a lazy, drunken, fat slob, and furthermore ..." The man sighs and says, "It's started ..."
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Old 10-24-2011, 10:28 AM   #66
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Talk about self fullfilling prophecy!
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Old 10-24-2011, 10:34 AM   #67
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"We know where they are" (weapons of mass destruction)

So sad that that lead to thousands of DEAD service men and women.
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Old 10-24-2011, 11:49 AM   #68
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I was at the ballgame trying to figure out why the ball was getting bigger, then it hit me.
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Old 10-24-2011, 02:36 PM   #69
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"So how much did you gross last month?" one zombie asked another.
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Old 10-24-2011, 02:57 PM   #70
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From the pages at Workhorse,

I couldn't repair your brakes, so I made your horn louder.
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