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Old 11-21-2011, 03:25 PM   #113
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A man went to the Police Station wishing to speak with the burglar who had broken into his house the night before.

"You'll get your chance in court," said the Desk Sergeant.

"No, no, no!" said the man. "I want to know how he got into the house without waking my wife. I've been trying to do that for years!"
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Old 12-01-2011, 01:16 PM   #114
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lady who walk in front car get tired.

c. wood and dog.
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Old 12-01-2011, 04:18 PM   #115
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"Vengeance is mine," sayeth the Lord, "I will repay."
...but it sure is fun when He lets me watch!
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Old 12-02-2011, 07:38 AM   #116
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Confucious say: "He who run behind Diesel Pusher quickly become EXHAUSTED"
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Old 12-02-2011, 09:44 AM   #117
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I'm addicted to placebos... I could quit but it wouldn't really matter...
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Old 12-02-2011, 09:47 AM   #118
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My wife's cooking is so bad that after feeding him leftovers, he runs around in circles trying to lick his bottom to get the taste out of his mouth.
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Old 12-02-2011, 10:21 AM   #119
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Why is "Folger's Coffee" mountain grown?..........Because the "Green Giant" does his pea-ing in the valley!
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Old 12-02-2011, 04:45 PM   #120
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Tried this "Dog Food Diet" and wound up in the hospital. Not from the dog food; I stepped off a curb to sniff a poodle's butt and got hit by a bus.
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Old 12-02-2011, 05:16 PM   #121
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Quote:
Originally Posted by GMRHost
Tried this "Dog Food Diet" and wound up in the hospital. Not from the dog food; I stepped off a curb to sniff a poodle's butt and got hit by a bus.
Now that was fast 🐎
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Old 12-02-2011, 05:22 PM   #122
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Now that was fast 🐎
Honest, on my honor- I had no idea the "same joke" was posted elsewhere until I went to look, after your comment!
Joke's been around for a while, though.
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Old 12-02-2011, 05:53 PM   #123
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Would this be a case of "Great minds think alike?"
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Old 12-02-2011, 05:59 PM   #124
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Would this be a case of "Great minds think alike?"
I can only hope
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Old 12-02-2011, 10:06 PM   #125
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I feel more like I did before than I do now. (true patient quote to me)
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Old 12-02-2011, 10:44 PM   #126
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How about this gem, courtesy of Mark Twain...

Quote:
Originally Posted by MrIguana View Post
Politicians should wear jumpsuits like NASCAR drivers do... that way we can tell which corporation sponsored them. -Robin Williams
.... "There are liars, damn liars ... and then there are politicians."
(seems the more things change, the more they stay the same)
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