1. Kidnappers are not very interested in you.
>
>
> 2. In a hostage situation you are likely to be released first.
>
>
> 3. No one expects you to run--anywhere.
>
>
> 4. People call at 9 PM and ask, Did I wake you????
>
>
> 5. People no longer view you as a hypochondriac.
>
>
> 6. There is nothing left to learn the hard way.
>
>
> 7. Things you buy now won't wear out.
>
>
> 8. You can eat supper at 4 PM .
>
>
> 9. You can live without sex but not your glasses.
>
>
> 10. You get into heated arguments about pension plans.
>
>
> 11. You no longer think of speed limits as a challenge.
>
>
> 12. You quit trying to hold your stomach in no matter who walks into
> the room.
>
>
> 13. You sing along with elevator music.
>
>
> 14. Your eyes won't get much worse.
>
>
> 15. Your investment in health insurance is finally beginning to
> payoff.
>
>
> 16. Your joints are more accurate meteorologists than the national
> weather service.
>
>
> 17. Your secrets are safe with your friends because they can't
> remember them either.
>
>
> 18. Your supply of brain cells are finally down to manageable size.