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Old 06-24-2011, 04:59 PM   #29
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I went to Texas A&M University for 11 years and just couldn't graduate. One day, the dean of students calls me in to his office and says, "Don, we're going to give you the opportunity to graduate. In a month, at half time of the homecoming football game, we are going to bring you out on the field and ask you one question. If you get it right, you get your degree. If you get it wrong, you have to go home without it and not come back."

I agreed to this and ran off to start studying. I studied night and day for a month. Finally the day came. It was a special day with homecoming and all the upcoming parties. The whole stadium was packed with A&M students and alumni, all waiting to see how I would do since I had become such a legend. The dean stepped up and said, "Don, are you ready for your question?"

I said I was.

The dean said, "Don, what is 3 X 3?"

I thought about it for about ten minutes and then finally stepped up to the microphone and said, "9?"

Before the dean could respond, thousands of the Texas A&M students and alumni jumped up and yelled, "GIVE HIM ANOTHER CHANCE!!"


Don
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Old 06-24-2011, 10:57 PM   #30
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Quote:
Originally Posted by akadeadeye View Post
I went to Texas A&M University for 11 years and just couldn't graduate. One day, the dean of students calls me in to his office and says, "Don, we're going to give you the opportunity to graduate. In a month, at half time of the homecoming football game, we are going to bring you out on the field and ask you one question. If you get it right, you get your degree. If you get it wrong, you have to go home without it and not come back."

I agreed to this and ran off to start studying. I studied night and day for a month. Finally the day came. It was a special day with homecoming and all the upcoming parties. The whole stadium was packed with A&M students and alumni, all waiting to see how I would do since I had become such a legend. The dean stepped up and said, "Don, are you ready for your question?"

I said I was.

The dean said, "Don, what is 3 X 3?"

I thought about it for about ten minutes and then finally stepped up to the microphone and said, "9?"

Before the dean could respond, thousands of the Texas A&M students and alumni jumped up and yelled, "GIVE HIM ANOTHER CHANCE!!"


Don
Now that's funny, I don't care who ya are!
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Old 06-24-2011, 11:24 PM   #31
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I used to work for Bum Bright, who was a grad and high dude at A&M. His favorite joke was ./...................

What do you call an A&M GRADUATE after 5 Years?
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.BOSS !
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Old 06-26-2011, 04:02 PM   #32
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Welcome to Grumpy's Garage. If you bring it in, I'll find something wrong!!!

Do you know if you rotate the air in the tires, you will get a better ride and a better tread wear pattern?

If your turn signals are not working correctly, you can correct this by adding blinker fluid. Make sure you use the gell type, for heavy duty use.

If you have a rattle under your vehicle, grease the muffler bearings.

A bucket of steam will help clean the windshield.

A Metric adjustable wrench will work better on batteries then an SAE adjustable wrench.
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Old 06-26-2011, 04:30 PM   #33
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Howdy y'all,(class of '57)

In our family my little brother is the liar(he'll climb a tree to tell a lie when he could tell the truth standing on the ground), but I'll have to admit it:
I AIN'T NEVER EVER TOLD NO LIE !!! Stretched the truth a time or 3, but NO, NO, I AIN'T NEVER EVER TOLD NO LIE !!!!!!!!

Y'ALL BELIEVE ME Y'HEAH!!!!!!!!!
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Old 06-26-2011, 04:43 PM   #34
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Howdy akadeadeye,

Hey, I was there that game, but knew you were wrong, it was 12!!!

One time I had a Model A Ford that you could run on coal oil & Hi-Life; the
motor ran so hot it turned transparent and you could watch the pistons run up and down in the cylinders... REALLY...THATZ THE TRUTH..BELIEVE ME !!
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Old 06-26-2011, 07:36 PM   #35
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If I told you I was a PATHOLOGICAL LIAR would you Believe me?
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Old 06-26-2011, 10:27 PM   #36
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I heard both of my X wives say "I DO"...

Chris
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Old 06-28-2011, 01:55 AM   #37
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I once caught a HUGE fresh water eel that could TALK! After a four hour fight I landed the monster. It immediately started whining about a wife and kids and pleaded to throw him back. Because of all his whining, I relented under one condition...because of his heft, I would throw him back if he told me how much he weighed. He replied..."I really don't know, I have no scales". Bob
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Old 06-28-2011, 03:14 AM   #38
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Yes sir Mr. Wilds we have fixed everything on your repair list, installed the new awning material, and you're ready to go.
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Old 06-28-2011, 11:07 AM   #39
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"No dear, I've had that shotgun for YEARS... I just haven't pulled it out of the gun safe for a while."

Steve
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Old 06-28-2011, 11:23 AM   #40
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"No dear, I've had that shotgun for YEARS... I just haven't pulled it out of the gun safe for a while."

Steve
Hay, I resemble that remark! And I don't know about you, but it didn't work!!!!!
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Old 06-28-2011, 11:46 AM   #41
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Steve and Grumpy,

The problem here is that you just don't have enough of them so the DW loses track . You need a few more so they all start looking alike.

liz
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Old 06-28-2011, 04:10 PM   #42
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Steve and Grumpy,

The problem here is that you just don't have enough of them so the DW loses track . You need a few more so they all start looking alike.

liz

I do that with running shoes and handbags. My two vices.
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