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Old 07-16-2014, 07:40 AM   #19097
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Great Words To Live By!

Getting along — Pointers for a great RV partnership
by Greg Illes

It is said that wherever your relationship is going, traveling together in an RV will take it there sooner. Here are some thoughts and pointers for traveling (and living) in close quarters with your loved one.

"Right" and "Wrong" — get rid of them
Does your brain work like this: "If I think one thing, and somebody else thinks differently — well, then, if I am right they must be wrong." Ain't necessarily so. Two people can be very different, and both can be right. Remember that old "I'm OK — You're OK" book? Same idea. Blame, hurt, guilt — these are all part of being wrong, and they should not be part of your RV cargo.

You can't fix the other guy
Remember how hard it was for you to change something in yourself that you really wanted to change (quitting smoking, fear of snakes, whatever)? Imagine if someone was demanding you change. Now imagine how difficult it would be to force a change in someone else who doesn't even want to change. Let's face it — we can barely, sometimes, make small fixes to ourselves. There's just no way we can fix the other person. Let's not try.

Are you a partner or a dependent?
Are you more concerned about loving your partner well or that your partner loves you? When you disagree, are you more concerned for your partner's welfare or your own? Who would you rather turn out to be right? (There's that word again.) Look for ways to care more about your partner than you care what he/she thinks of you.

Make it "their" choice
When you know they're wrong (there's that word again), and you know exactly how they can fix it, and you just can't keep your mouth shut (this happens to us all) — give them the choice — really, give it to them. Be fully okay with what they decide. Try using a question instead of a command: "Do you think it would work better if you tried this?" instead of, "You should really do this thing this way."

Nobody is (or can be) perfect
We've heard this so often that we no longer listen. All of us are riddled with imperfections. We'll never fix them all — so let's concentrate on the serious issues and let the petty stuff slide. Ask yourself: Is this really a serious issue with your partner? Be honest.

Right things are done for right reasons
A fundamental truth: Every human on earth makes the best decision they can at every moment of their lives. Sometimes they base decisions on horribly flawed data or dismally bad influences, and very poor decisions result. But those crummy decisions are the result of the information worked with, not any intrinsic failing of the person.

Respect is the cornerstone
Love is mercurial, capricious, magical and maddening. Respect, on the other hand, is foundational, heartfelt and lasting. Know, deeply, that your companion is being the best person possible. Respect them for that and help them — cooperatively, gently, supportively — in any way you can.

Can you wait?
In relationships, patience is a huge virtue. Today's insufferable torture can well be tomorrow's minor annoyance. Today's steadfast refusal to change drifts into a bemused "we'll see" later in the week. Moods and attitudes do change — even your own.

What do you really want?
Be honest with yourself. A "want" can be a must-have or a nice-to-have. Try to place as many as possible in the nice-to-have category, because this enables that "choice" for your partner. A must-have is a non-negotiable demand and should be used rarely if at all. So what if you are presented with a must-have? A refusal puts you both in the rock-and-a-hard-place scenario — not good. How about a more flexible, "I really, really want this (grin)" or "Well, let's talk about it (wink)," as a starting point.

Negotiate for fun, but not for love
Approval, respect, love — these are not for sale. "I'll do the dishes, you take out the trash" is fine. But approval, disapproval, love or shame should not be involved. Every partnership is a compendium of trade-offs. Make them cheerfully. If you love and respect your partner, you will not be concerned about getting the best of the deal; in fact, you'll try to give them the advantage — because they are worth it.
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Old 07-16-2014, 07:51 AM   #19098
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When you and Herb are together, and you both turn sideways, who's on first?
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Okay Grand Poohbah let's not go there. LOL
You can go there all you want. The other mutants are so grateful that you are not picking on them. Right Herb?

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Wow our Canuck branch of the family keeps growing. Shows how much I don't pay attention to nationalities. All I see is a mutant family.
You would see a lot more if you would take your head........well, you'd see a lot more.

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[...]I have promised to help with his care. So you'll either hear from me a lot, meaning I'm babysitting him, OR ... You won't hear from me hardly at all because he has me helping with his therapy several hours each day. Only time will tell.

I owe them a huge debt of gratitude. They have hosted us for the 3 summers and we stayed here last winter. Arlene helped me thru neurosurgery in November and double total knee replacement in February. I'm honored to be able to return the favor. AND, as the only member on his team neither married to him, or on his payroll, he won't be able to bully me. I'm looking forward to being a pain in his derriθre and reminding him that his life was saved for a reason.
Barb, you are called an "Angel" in many circles, ours included.

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Wow - you Arkansas boys apparently don't like squirrel much. 12 gauge squirrel gun - how big are these squirrel? Dowm here in Texas we shoot em with a slingshot or just hit em with a rock. We also only shoot or throw at em with our less dominate arm - for me it's left handed. Otherwise we tear em up so much we and might as well use a 12 Guage.

BTW - ever since Sparky came to live with us about 15 years ago - we have given up on hunting squirrel. And Sparky asked to see a picture of you and then went and hid in the other room. LOL
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Old 07-16-2014, 08:03 AM   #19099
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Wow Les, quit a lot of reading. Haven't read that much since-less babel since organic chemistry class. I'm thinking of having Mary read it too, she has some problems she needs to clean up and that will keep me from having to tell her. Can't agree totally with the problems living in small places bring, for one it makes life easier. Like when I say Mary bring me a drink, she has only a short reach across MH to fridge. Mary it's dark in here, she is only a arms reach from the light switch, Mary I'm chilled and a comforter is laying handy.

I hope your message and my insightful comment will be helpful to the mutant world out there.

Mary bring me some coffee. AAAAaaaaaaaaaa!

Would of liked it in a cup.
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Old 07-16-2014, 08:03 AM   #19100
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Getting along — Pointers for a great RV partnership
by Greg Illes
Nice post Les. It illustrates what personal traits and considerations are really important for a relationship to work.

Feeling all lovey-dovey with the world this morning?
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Old 07-16-2014, 08:13 AM   #19101
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Naw!

Purely posted for my wife to see! LOL

Ouch! That hurt right away Honey!......gonna leave a bruise.

Yup! There it is!
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Old 07-16-2014, 09:04 AM   #19102
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Nice post Les. It illustrates what personal traits and considerations are really important for a relationship to work.

Feeling all lovey-dovey with the world this morning?
X2 - Annie and I are ahead of the game, but a good reminder - respect and equality.... yeah that'd the ticket.
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Old 07-16-2014, 09:06 AM   #19103
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X2 - Annie and I are ahead of the game, but a good reminder - respect and equality.... yeah that'd the ticket.

X3.
Our MH is as big or bigger than the first 3 places we lived.
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Old 07-16-2014, 09:52 AM   #19104
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X2 - Annie and I are ahead of the game, but a good reminder - respect and equality.... yeah that'd the ticket.
And don't forget, from a guys point of view, I have the most important item to consider with everything that you do if it affects her...

You can either be right, or you can be happy.


Spoken after 34 years of wedded bliss.
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Old 07-16-2014, 10:46 AM   #19105
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and don't forget, from a guys point of view, i have the most important item to consider with everything that you do if it affects her...

You can either be right, or you can be happy. :d


spoken after 34 years of wedded bliss.

amen brother
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Old 07-16-2014, 11:26 AM   #19106
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Today is a good day to feel all Lovey-Dovey, as is any day, come to reflect on it. 'Specially for our newlyweds, though ... have you done it yet? I mean tied the knot?

All good points re: right/wrong, respect, and so on. It takes some of us longer than others to figger 'em all out and put them into practice! Me, I'm a slow learner ... but I'm workin' on it.

Cheers!
Sue
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Old 07-16-2014, 11:35 AM   #19107
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Today is a good day to feel all Lovey-Dovey, as is any day, come to reflect on it. 'Specially for our newlyweds, though ... have you done it yet? I mean tied the knot?

All good points re: right/wrong, respect, and so on. It takes some of us longer than others to figger 'em all out and put them into practice! Me, I'm a slow learner ... but I'm workin' on it.

Cheers!
Sue
Thanks for clarification Sue.... Friday 1 pm Central.

We are too excited. Soo much on our plates it's a little overwhelming - but getting married is a no brainer. She's the light of my life.
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Old 07-16-2014, 11:44 AM   #19108
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We are too excited. Soo much on our plates it's a little overwhelming - but getting married is a no brainer. She's the light of my life.
Careful now. By "no brainer" do you mean that getting married requires no second thoughs at all, or that getting married means you have no brains?
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Old 07-16-2014, 11:53 AM   #19109
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smudger;

Welcome to IRV2 & the Winnebago Industries Owner's Forum. You have found the friendliest site on the Internet. We have a wealth of information on the forum for Winnebago owners. Post often and share your travel experiences with us. Please don't be afraid to ask questions. We have a great group here who enjoy helping where they can.

Don
Ohhhhhh Don .... I would have never said it like that.

But like anything else it takes compromise since we are fast approaching our 38th year I learned compromise at a young age. .... lol ...

Cheers !!!!!
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Old 07-16-2014, 02:10 PM   #19110
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2 minutes and 14 seconds of why a rolling mini-c of traveling mutants makes sense.... not to mention - gypsies do it...

http://youtu.be/llE8FtJnf-k
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