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Old 08-22-2008, 07:38 AM   #1
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Avoid cutting yourself when slicing vegetables by getting someone else to hold while you chop.

Avoid arguments with the Mrs. about lifting the toilet seat by using the sink.

For high blood pressure sufferers: simply cut yourself and bleed for a few minutes, thus reducing the pressure in your veins. Remember to use a timer.

A mouse trap, placed on top of your alarm clock, will prevent you from rolling over and going back to sleep after you hit the snooze button.

If you have a bad cough, take a large dose of laxatives, then you'll be afraid to cough.

You only need two tools in life - WD-40 and Duct Tape. If it doesn't move and should, use the WD-40. If it shouldn't move and does, use the duct tape.

If you can't fix it with a hammer, you've got an electrical problem.

Remember: Everyone seems normal until you get to know them.

Thought for the Day: SOME PEOPLE ARE LIKE SLINKIES...NOT REALLY GOOD FOR ANYTHING BUT THEY BRING A SMILE TO YOUR FACE WHEN FALLING DOWN THE STAIRS.

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Old 08-22-2008, 07:38 AM   #2
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Avoid cutting yourself when slicing vegetables by getting someone else to hold while you chop.

Avoid arguments with the Mrs. about lifting the toilet seat by using the sink.

For high blood pressure sufferers: simply cut yourself and bleed for a few minutes, thus reducing the pressure in your veins. Remember to use a timer.

A mouse trap, placed on top of your alarm clock, will prevent you from rolling over and going back to sleep after you hit the snooze button.

If you have a bad cough, take a large dose of laxatives, then you'll be afraid to cough.

You only need two tools in life - WD-40 and Duct Tape. If it doesn't move and should, use the WD-40. If it shouldn't move and does, use the duct tape.

If you can't fix it with a hammer, you've got an electrical problem.

Remember: Everyone seems normal until you get to know them.

Thought for the Day: SOME PEOPLE ARE LIKE SLINKIES...NOT REALLY GOOD FOR ANYTHING BUT THEY BRING A SMILE TO YOUR FACE WHEN FALLING DOWN THE STAIRS.

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Old 08-22-2008, 11:24 AM   #3
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I read this kind of thing and it makes me realize why I like it here so much!

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Old 10-03-2008, 02:35 AM   #4
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Does the vegetable trick hold true for firewood as well? Can seem to get my DW to hold the kindling while I chop.

Terry
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Old 10-03-2008, 05:42 AM   #5
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Hmmmm gonna have to check some of these out.
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