Go Back   iRV2 Forums > iRV2.com COMMUNITY FORUMS > Just Conversation
Click Here to Login
Join iRV2 Today

Mission Statement: Supporting thoughtful exchange of knowledge, values and experience among RV enthusiasts.
Reply
  This discussion is proudly sponsored by:
Please support our sponsors and let them know you heard about their products on iRV2
 
Thread Tools Search this Thread Display Modes
 
Old 10-28-2011, 09:23 AM   #1
Senior Member
 
Dunner's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jun 2011
Location: Phx, Arid~zona
Posts: 11,106
Some Red Skelton Laughs for you really old timers

Some of these made this stone-face chuckle.

For those of you old enough to remember Richard “Red” Skelton, I think you will enjoy these. For those of you not old enough, you will see what you missed. Either way, his humor was always clean and he was a great entertainer. A re-run of great 'one liners' from the man who was known for his clean humor. I hope you get a chuckle or two reading them once more.

RED SKELTON'S RECIPE FOR THE PERFECT MARRIAGE


1. Two times a week we go to a nice restaurant, have a
little beverage, good food and companionship.
She goes on Tuesdays, I go on Fridays.

2. We also sleep in separate beds..
Hers is in California , and mine is in Texas .....

3. I take my wife everywhere,
but she keeps finding her way back.

4. I asked my wife where she wanted to go for our anniversary.
"Somewhere I haven't been in a long time!" she said.
So I suggested the kitchen.

5. We always hold hands. If I let go, she shops.

6. She has an electric blender, electric
toaster and electric bread maker.
She said "There are too many gadgets, and no place
to sit down!" So I bought her an electric chair.

7. My wife told me the car wasn't running well
because there was water in the carburetor.
I asked where the car was. She told me, "In the lake."

8. She got a mud pack and looked great for two days.
Then the mud fell off.

9. She ran after the garbage truck, yelling, "Am I too late
for the garbage?" The driver said, "No, jump in!".

10. Remember: Marriage is the number one cause of divorce.

11. I married Miss Right. I just didn't know her
first name was 'Always'.

12. I haven't spoken to my wife in 18 months.
I don't like to interrupt her.

13. The last fight was my fault though.
My wife asked, "What's on the TV?"
I said, "Dust!".

Can't you just hear him say all of these?
I love it. These were the good old days when humor didn't have to start with a four-letter word. It was just clean and simple fun.
And he always ended his programs with the words, "And May God Bless", with a big smile on his face.
__________________

__________________
2004 32' National Sea Breeze 1311 Class A on a F-53 Chassis, CHF, TST TPMS, 5Star Tune.
If Dunner (RVM23) can't fix it, it ain't broke!
Cheap Handling Fix Poll. Click Here to vote?
Dunner is offline   Reply With Quote
Join the #1 RV Forum Today - It's Totally Free!

iRV2.com RV Community - Are you about to start a new improvement on your RV or need some help with some maintenance? Do you need advice on what products to buy? Or maybe you can give others some advice? No matter where you fit in you'll find that iRV2 is a great community to join. Best of all it's totally FREE!

You are currently viewing our boards as a guest so you have limited access to our community. Please take the time to register and you will gain a lot of great new features including; the ability to participate in discussions, network with other RV owners, see fewer ads, upload photographs, create an RV blog, send private messages and so much, much more!

Old 10-28-2011, 11:03 AM   #2
Member
 
Winnebago Owners Club
Join Date: Dec 2010
Location: Central Minnesota
Posts: 47
I remember Red Skelton putting on a show for the United Nations, one hour and not one word. The audience couldn't stop laughing.
Now that was real talent!
__________________

__________________
crtrrv is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 10-28-2011, 11:21 AM   #3
Senior Member
 
Dunner's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jun 2011
Location: Phx, Arid~zona
Posts: 11,106
Sad to say I remember him, Jack, Desi & Lucy, Dean & Jerry, etc.
__________________
2004 32' National Sea Breeze 1311 Class A on a F-53 Chassis, CHF, TST TPMS, 5Star Tune.
If Dunner (RVM23) can't fix it, it ain't broke!
Cheap Handling Fix Poll. Click Here to vote?
Dunner is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 10-28-2011, 06:34 PM   #4
RV Mutant #14
 
Wayne M's Avatar


 
Winnebago Owners Club
Texas Boomers Club
Freightliner Owners Club
iRV2 No Limits Club
Join Date: Aug 2008
Location: Texas
Posts: 12,201
Don't forget Uncle Milton (Milton Berle)

Tim Conway

And there was a female side kick - what was her name.

Red Skelton was a great entertainer. If you have a mind to, Google search

"Red Skelton pledge of allegiance" without the quotes.
__________________
Wayne MSGT USMC (Ret) & Earlene (CinCHouse)
2015 Winnebago Tour 42QD
RVM14
It is what it is, and then it is what you make of it.
Wayne M is online now   Reply With Quote
Old 10-28-2011, 07:48 PM   #5
Senior Member
 
scenic route's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2010
Posts: 1,767
Quote:
Originally Posted by Wayne M View Post
Don't forget Uncle Milton (Milton Berle)


And there was a female side kick - what was her name.
Talking about Milton Berle's sidekick? Ruth Gilbert

Or Red Skelton's...I really do not remember if he had a female sidekick.
My favorite Red Skelton joke: "I met a man that said he was 98 years old. He told me that he was going to wed a woman of 20 years of age. I ask if he realized that could result in certain death. He replied "If she dies, she dies"!" Bob
__________________
Jan and Bob

RIP 'Squeaky'
scenic route is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 10-28-2011, 09:11 PM   #6
Senior Member
 
sdennislee's Avatar


 
Monaco Owners Club
Winnebago Owners Club
Join Date: Sep 2011
Posts: 6,404
THe Red Skelton show was my favorite growing up.
__________________
US Navy Vet, Liberty Tree Member of Oath Keepers, NRA & VFW Life Member, Alaska EMT.
2009 Safari Cheetah 40 SKQ
2009 Winnebago Chalet 231CR
sdennislee is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 10-28-2011, 09:23 PM   #7
Senior Member
 
Ragingbull's Avatar
 
Vintage RV Owners Club
Texas Boomers Club
Fleetwood Owners Club
Join Date: May 2011
Location: Cherokee, Texas
Posts: 406
Thanks I needed a good laugh
__________________
1979 "Vintage" Pace Arrow 28 Ft,
Ragingbull is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 10-28-2011, 09:35 PM   #8
Senior Member
 
Join Date: Apr 2010
Posts: 260
For my money the best female sidekick, or star, whichever way you want to look at it was Gracie Allen.

Ken
__________________
bucks2 is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 10-28-2011, 09:46 PM   #9
Senior Member
 
slickest1's Avatar
 
Monaco Owners Club
Join Date: Jul 2011
Location: B.C.
Posts: 3,716
Red as my favorite as well. Freddy the freeloader, Gertrude and Hecliff, can't remember the name of the little boy. He did these and others that were just hilarious. My DW found a couple of dvd's with some of his stuff on it. Still enjoy it!!
__________________
Dennis & Marcie & Captain Hook The Jack Russell,aka PUP, 04 Dodge/Cummins 01 Citation 29.rk fifth wheel.RVM59
slickest1 is online now   Reply With Quote
Old 10-28-2011, 10:01 PM   #10
Senior Member
 
Join Date: May 2009
Posts: 571
I chuckled all the way thru. What a great entertainer he was and i wish they would show some re-runs. Thanks
__________________
faye is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 10-28-2011, 11:55 PM   #11
Senior Member
 
Dunner's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jun 2011
Location: Phx, Arid~zona
Posts: 11,106
I liked Red better than the other old time entertainers.

And, you're all welcome.
__________________

__________________
2004 32' National Sea Breeze 1311 Class A on a F-53 Chassis, CHF, TST TPMS, 5Star Tune.
If Dunner (RVM23) can't fix it, it ain't broke!
Cheap Handling Fix Poll. Click Here to vote?
Dunner is offline   Reply With Quote
Reply



Currently Active Users Viewing This Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)
 
Thread Tools Search this Thread
Search this Thread:

Advanced Search
Display Modes

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are Off
Pingbacks are Off
Refbacks are Off


Similar Threads
Thread Thread Starter Forum Replies Last Post
Allegro RED Test and Review Cruzer Tiffin Motorhomes Owners Forum 16 11-01-2014 07:35 AM
''Little Red Weldin' Rod'' Seajay Just Conversation 8 02-10-2011 09:16 AM
Red Skeltons Pledge Of Allegiance Larry & Rita Just Conversation 1 01-23-2011 05:54 PM
Red Friday Belgian Just Conversation 5 04-29-2008 05:43 AM

» Virginia Campgrounds

Reviews provided by


Copyright 2002- Social Knowledge, LLC All Rights Reserved.

All times are GMT -6. The time now is 09:30 PM.


Powered by vBulletin® Version 3.8.8 Beta 1
Copyright ©2000 - 2017, vBulletin Solutions, Inc.