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Old 05-04-2012, 02:05 PM   #15
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Originally Posted by Ramblin View Post
Toss #1 and #2 out, tell them "the world is waiting, go sink or swim", but not to come back. Make #3 witness the purging and understand the reasoning, maybe there's time to realign his attitude.

I have no kids, my advice is worth what it cost ya to read it.
Actually your advice is excellent but too many parents are so browbeaten and subjugated and manipulated by their selfish children, they cannot do it.

When these spoiled brats are forced from their cushy homes where every whim is catered to, they quickly learn the world doesn't revolve around them. They suddenly find jobs and get their acts together.

Maybe this man needs to have a real serious talk with his wife and perhaps seek professional family counseling.

Retired. RVing with one husband and five cats.
1999 32' Fleetwood Southwind Class-A. Ford V10.
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Old 05-04-2012, 02:06 PM   #16
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Lincolinboy and scgator have good thoughts for you. You can see where you are at and what direction things are going.
Jim - what do you want when you are in your 60's and 70's?? Identify your dream life, make a 2 year and 5 year plan, put away some $$, and go for it.

Tom and Amy from Northern Virginia.
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Life is a DIY project - enjoy it.
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Old 05-04-2012, 02:22 PM   #17
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Growing up in a family with 9 kids, we all had the same parents, we were taught to work for what you wanted and need in life...there were no hand outs...we had great parents who raised up with love and discipline...both my parents are gone now, but I have lots of respect for the way they raised us!!!!
2014 Gulf Stream Conquest Lite Model 218MB
2013 Chevy Traverse LT
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Old 05-04-2012, 03:27 PM   #18
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Originally Posted by scgator View Post
If you want the truth............it appears from reading your post that DW runs the family, not you; this is completely outside the norm. DW should indeed be able to run and control the day to day business of the household. But, it is your duty as both the father and the income provider to insure practical application of all areas.

Mistake #1...oldest son is not a baby boy anymore; put him in the street today. He has made his decisions and will ALWAYS play his cards with momma to get what he wants. As long as he is in the house, you will never win. NEVER.

Mistake #2...middle son is influenced by oldest son; crack the whip now, or lose him also forever. If you are paying for his college, that is well a good, but is not required! And free room and board and extras certainly are not. Help him get a job, show him how to manage his money and obligations....then tell him sink or swim.

Mistake #3...youngest son is being influenced by #1 and #2; you have tripled you disadvantage.............stop his decline NOW.

If DW doesn't want to go along with you (for the sake of the marriage and the family), then refer her to your attorney for papers and a settlement agreement. It is not what you want, but may be necessary....

We raised all three of our kids to get a job at 16, helped them buy their first car, and helped pay for their college as long as they too worked at least a part time job to help out. WE also told them.....get in trouble with the wrong crowd or the law and you are on your own!!!!!
This is an outstanding prescription.
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Old 05-04-2012, 03:42 PM   #19
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Ez solution. Get a girlfriend and go Rving
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Old 05-04-2012, 04:13 PM   #20
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Originally Posted by wb7auk View Post
As long as you bend to their demands and support them and their mother is on their
side you loose.
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Old 05-04-2012, 04:21 PM   #21
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Originally Posted by flasher View Post
Ez solution. Get a girlfriend and go Rving
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Don't believe everything you think.
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Old 05-04-2012, 04:23 PM   #22
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Sounds like you are wanting advice. So, based on what you told us:

Consult an attorney, an accountant and a realtor. Prepare for a divorce. Start planning an escape from failed, diseased people and an enabling spouse who no longer makes decisions with consideration for you.

Oh, while you are making changes, grow a set and make your own personal decisions.
Story here
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Old 05-04-2012, 09:19 PM   #23
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With all due respect to everyone's opinions, I think this is a great forum/resource for finding answers to RV problems.....not a great place to find answers to what sounds like a very complex family problem. If you are serious about finding a solution to this problem.....consult a professional family therapist (may be able to help you with your family...probably not so good with advice on how to get better MPG outta your Cummins)!
Jack & Maggie
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Old 05-04-2012, 09:57 PM   #24
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I started to write a reply this morning and erased it. He was just venting. I didn't see a need to tell him how to live his life as he is experiencing the consequences of how he has lived it thus far. I think he was maybe having a light bulb moment.

To the OP... I feel for you. It is tuff. It would be tuffer if there were darling grandkids involved, so be grateful for what is and isn't yet.
Martha (AKA RVM45), Bob, and Bess the Border collie
22'Honey Sportscruiser on a 1988 Ford Econoline.
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Old 05-04-2012, 10:07 PM   #25
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Originally Posted by Jack1234 View Post
With all due respect to everyone's opinions, I think this is a great forum/resource for finding answers to RV problems.....not a great place to find answers to what sounds like a very complex family problem. If you are serious about finding a solution to this problem.....consult a professional family therapist (may be able to help you with your family...probably not so good with advice on how to get better MPG outta your Cummins)!

With all due respect sir...............he will get the same advice he is getting from here; the only thing making it professional is the $300+ per counseling hour (which will surely take "many" sessions for someone who makes $300K per year).

Not to say there isn't a place for the professional; but, I will take the time tested advice of someone who has been in the trenches and come out in one piece before that from someone who in most cases doesn't even recognize the analogy.
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Old 05-04-2012, 10:45 PM   #26
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I can relate from raising step kids from a former marriage. Very long story. I deleted my long reply that I started.

I blame the problem on society that empowers youth to feel an entitlement. I now have a daughter of my own and she will only attend a private school where they pledge allegiance to the flag, say grace before lunch and the older grades are expected to mentor and set examples for the lower grades. My DW unlike XW does not spoil or coddle her son or our daughter.

I wish the OP well. Oh...
2010 Damon Daybreak 3204 Sport, bunkhouse with Jeep Wrangler toad.

Improvise, adapt and overcome... "Semper Fi"
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Old 05-04-2012, 10:48 PM   #27
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Originally Posted by JimM68 View Post
Yesterday, mt dw, my oldest son, and i had a conversation....

Oldest son had to be at a job interview (east of my work) at 9:30...
DW had to see a client at 9...
She asked me if i'd take oldest son....
I said no problem, bu he needed to go to work with me at 7:30.

He said "I ain't gettin up that early!

And she rearranged her schedule so she coukd take this brat where he wanted to be, when he wanted to be there...

Just fyi.....

I am completely out of line.

There is no reason i shouldn't take time off work so i can take him when he wants to be there, it's more important what is convenient for him than what is convenient for me....

I just don't get it....
I support this family to the tune of 300k a year....
You'd think they would all be bending over kissing MY [moderator edit] ....

Just fyi....

#1 son is 23. He is a reformed junkie, home from doing 2 years hard time. He's been his mommies boy from the day he was born...

#2 is 20. He is a video game junkie, on the 3 year plan at the local community college. He has never had a job. Never.

#3 is 14. Just noew learning to be a smartass. Learned well from DW and #2 son that dad is just a joke...

I seem to have forgotten what i was posting about, but the above is why i drink.
$300K a year? Oh that means your a real wimp at work also? You climb into a bottle when a subordinate gets on your case? I'll bet not. I'll wager your a real azz kicker behind the desk..........while not at home....around 23 and 20 year old children.

Time to grow some cahoonas bunkie. Dear family. This is the way it is. Shut up. Your rent is $600.00 month. Food $400.00. Incidentals $300.00. Just like in the real world. Shut up. Have the cash on the 30th or be issued a no-trespass warning from law enforcement. Shut up.

Dear bride, you may help them pack if you like. Or you may contact your favorite attorney to inform him/her of your recent life changing experience.

Life in the Slow Lane.
U.S. Navy, Retired
SKP #111927
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Old 05-05-2012, 05:14 AM   #28
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Taz hit the nail on the head ! This is not an isolated case any more. Just take a look at the news lately, the "occupiers" are a prime example of what's wrong with our society .
Most feel they are due what others have without working for it.....

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The wife, me and two furry kids
If you have it, a truck brought it.
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