Standing in line at Wal Mart

[hondo122]

I was at WalMart buying a bag of Purina dog chow for my dog , in the check-out line when a woman behind me asked if I had a dog. Why else would I be buying dog chow, RIGHT ??? So on impulse I told her that no, I didn't have a dog, I was starting the Purina Diet again, and that I probably shouldn't, because I ended up in the hospital last time, but that I'd lost 50 pounds before I awakened in intensive care, with tubes coming out of most of my orifices and IVs in both arms. I told her that it was essentially a Perfect Diet and all you do is load your pockets with Purina Nuggets and simply eat one or two every time you feel hungry. The food is nutritionally complete so it works well and I was going to try it again. (I have to mention here that practically everyone in line was now enthralled with my story.) Horrified, she asked if I ended up in intensive care, because the dog food poisoned me. I told her no, I stepped off a curb to sniff a poodle's butt and a car hit me. I thought the guy behind her was going to have a heart attack he was laughing so hard. Better watch what you ask me and be prepared for my answer.



OK not a true story but really funny

[gfs1943]

Heard it before, but still laugh my a$$ off. That one's a classic.

GS

[GMRHost]

I owe you an apology- I posted a one-liner version of this in "one-liners" lol... didn't know yours was up, at the time.

[num1dgh]

Quote:

Originally Posted by hondo122 I was at WalMart buying a bag of Purina dog chow for my dog , in the check-out line when a woman behind me asked if I had a dog. Why else would I be buying dog chow, RIGHT ??? So on impulse I told her that no, I didn't have a dog, I was starting the Purina Diet again, and that I probably shouldn't, because I ended up in the hospital last time, but that I'd lost 50 pounds before I awakened in intensive care, with tubes coming out of most of my orifices and IVs in both arms. I told her that it was essentially a Perfect Diet and all you do is load your pockets with Purina Nuggets and simply eat one or two every time you feel hungry. The food is nutritionally complete so it works well and I was going to try it again. (I have to mention here that practically everyone in line was now enthralled with my story.) Horrified, she asked if I ended up in intensive care, because the dog food poisoned me. I told her no, I stepped off a curb to sniff a poodle's butt and a car hit me. I thought the guy behind her was going to have a heart attack he was laughing so hard. Better watch what you ask me and be prepared for my answer. OK not a true story but really funny

LMAO! Too funny. I'll have to remember that.

[Dunner]

Quote:

"OK not a true story but really funny"

What makes you think it's now a true story? Maybe not for you.

[rbracing60]

This one is really making the rounds, I saw it on three different facebook postings and another forum already today. And it was funny everytime.

[hondo122]

Quote:

Originally Posted by Dunner What makes you think it's now a true story? Maybe not for you.

Now that's Funny

[Dunner]

One-up-man-ship; I saw it over a year ago. Still funny every time I read it. I would love to be in that position, but I don't buy grocery brand dog crap with all the bi-products.

According to my so called friends, I should be having my 16# MinPins food delivered by the truck load. She still has a figure(important to ladies) and their dogs are barrel shaped. I get no respect.

[TAZ]

Thanks. The DW and I are both LOAO... I though I had heard them all. DW says that she wished we had nieghbors like you...

[Dunner]

Umm, Taz, put down the adult beverages or use your spell checker. I had to close one I to read your post.

[DutchStar38]

I can hardly type because I lauged so hard my eyes watered and I started wheezing. Very funny!

[ghoststories]

Thanks for the chuckle....

[Wayne M]

I was waiting for the finish to say you were sitting on the couch, licking yourself, fell off and broke your neck.

[Dunner]

And you think I push it.