Stupidest question you have ever been asked and how you answered

[cb5300]

Originally Posted by Qwert66

Typical greeting from a waitress "How are we all doing"
My answer is always "I don't know but I know how I am doing"

Yep, I'm sure the waitress remembers your wit as she spits in your food as she brings it to your table!!

[Arctic Owl]

I get asked often, 'How are you today', and I almost always answer, 'I am fantastic, but I will get better'. The look on some peoples faces is priceless.

Reg

[RickO]

I NEVER, EVER mess with anyone who will be serving me food.... and that includes my DW!

Rick

[Plane nutty]

Wasn't a question but dumb none the less. I checked my party in at a Red Lobster under my name Brian. The hostess wrote down Brain. I considered it a compliment and didn't say anything. The interesting and dumb part was when she called me by Brain over the loud speaker that my table was ready.

[monkey]

It never fails, when we are out with our Danes, somebody has to ask "You got a saddle for that thing?" Sometimes I'll say "no, we ride him bare back" . Usually they'll give a blank stare, and move on.... We take no offense of course, but it would be nice to hear something a little more original once in a while....

[Horizonchase]

Originally Posted by Sequim Guy

I learned at a young age to NEVER ask a woman if she is pregnant, unless
you can actually see the baby exiting the birth canal...

.

Originally Posted by WheelingIt

Back in the day when I was a more, shall we say "rotunde" girl, I had some bozo ask me when the baby was due....For fear of shocking all you boys out there I can't repeat what I answered...

One time, when I was around 14 years old my mom asked me what was different about my Aunt May. My Aunt May was right there in the room looking at me while my mom insisted if I noticed anything different about her. Well, she was a heavy set woman and had a rather large lower abdomen so I said: She's pregnant? I didn't mean that to be sarcastic or anything, I just couldn't tell what was "different" about her. Come to find out she wasn't pregnant. She had a new hair style! Oh man! Talk about saying the wrong thing!! Ever since that time I will never, ever blat out that I think a woman is pregnant!! Even if she plainly is!!!

[TQ60]

Will change it up for fun.

All of us ask stupid ones, here is one of my favorites.

I have poor memory when it comes to names, I can remember a schematic to the Nth degree for years, but within seconds of someone telling me their name I am toast.

On phone calls I usually have a paper handy so I can take notes, during one call I forgot the other party's name, so I used one of my usual tricks, I asked him to spell his name so I was certian the "form" was filled in correctly.

I remembered ever improtant detail of the call but the darn name.

He answered...B...I...L...L...S...M...I...T...H

He had me, I attempted a recovery, just checking to make sure it was not bill smyth...

Did not work. took a long time to recover from that one...

[TQ60]

Remembered one from years ago.

A bunch of us were in a class on repeaters and for lunch we all met at a local food joint in the nearby mountian town.

One of the other techs had a chicken sandwich.

As usual the waitress comes buy when everyone has a mouthfull to ask how the food was.

The tech with chicken saw here comming and planned his response.

She asks "how's the food guys?'

He gets one of those bad looks, you know, the look the wife gives you that could make a freight train take a dirt road, then points at the sandwitch and says "this sandwitch is foul" and just looked at the waitress.

She just about flipped out and started a panic, about that time the tech smiles ear to ear and says "isn't is supposed to be...chicken is a foul is it not".

The level of service changed a little after that, she was rattled the remainder of the time we were there, I am thankfull we all had all of our food.

[okmunky]

I live with an 8 pound capuchin monkey who loves to make new friends. I take her with me often. I usually answer the same 10 questions over and over again, but the one that slays me is "Does she talk?".

Answer: Yes, she speaks capuchin. Do you?

[dennis45]

Originally Posted by wonderer1

this is what we need is a joke forum. my vote is someone smart start one.

Check out RV Humor

[Larry & Rita]

How many time have we all been ask:
Have you lived here all your life?
Reply: I sure hope not.

[e8seabee]

A couple of guys and I were sitting in a resturant in southern California a bunch of years ago when a couple of young ladies sat down at the next table. Neither of them had a watch so one of them, noticing I had a watch, leaned our direction and asked "Excuse me sir, do you have the time??" I looked at my watch, looked back at her and said "Sure, what did you have in mind!!!" Heee hee!!! Made one of the guys at my table shoot coffee through his nose!!!! Thankfully, they saw the humor as it was intended and had a good laugh as well.

[sirpurrcival]

Had one this very day in fact.

A friend of mine who is also an elected public servant called at 9:30 this morning and being rather flippant asked me if I was just sitting around doing nothing (don't ask me why she asked that).

I said "of course I am not sitting around, what do you think I am, some kind of politician?" (insert drum and symbol sounds here).

[Alan_Hepburn]

We're in a gas station, with the hose plugged in to our smart car, and we often get the question "Is that thing electric?"...

For smart responses whenever wifey says to me "You know what I meant!" I invariably reply "Sorry, no - I know what you SAID!"

And then the fight starts