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Old 10-02-2012, 01:15 AM   #43
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I owned a computer store and a lady called me one day and said:

"Arch, there is smoke coming out of my computer. Do you think I should turn it off."
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Old 10-02-2012, 09:55 PM   #44
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Owning a cell phone service business it always amazes me when a customers phone has been ruined by moisture and they come up with this bit of wisdom.

"How did it get wet?" Heard this over 100 times. My answer, "sir or mam" I wasn't on the scene of the accident.

Then they often follow up. Why isn't it covered by warranty? Or, why should I have to buy a new one. " I pay you guys so much for service every month"''
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Old 10-02-2012, 10:12 PM   #45
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In my small home town one of the deputies I worked with liked to give the new waitresses a good start in the morning. They would ask him what he would like for breakfast and he would say eggs. They would ask how do you like them? Deputy - I like them pretty good. Waitress - No, I mean how do you like them cooked. Deputy - I like them even better that way. Always got a few seconds of silence followed by chuckles.
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Old 10-03-2012, 12:58 PM   #46
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Our daughter recently had twin girls. Because the entire Dr. Seuss book "One Fish, Two Fish, Red Fish, Blue Fish" is permanently etched into my brain from her OWN childhood, I decided to get her kids a copy of the same book, so they can one day drive HER crazy with it...

Only, with so many book stores going under, it took forever for me to find an open store. When I did, I could not find ANY Dr. Seuss at all. So, I asked the kid behind the counter...

Me: "I need a copy of Dr. Seuss' "One Fish, Two Fish, Red Fish, Blue Fish".

Him: "For your grandchild?"

Me : " No, it's for me.I never got to finish it, and I want to see how it ends".

Bill Engvall is right... there should be signs.....
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Old 10-03-2012, 01:16 PM   #47
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Talking

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Originally Posted by WheelingIt View Post
Back in the day when I was a more, shall we say "rotunde" girl, I had some bozo ask me when the baby was due....For fear of shocking all you boys out there I can't repeat what I answered...

Hi :/ This is the THE question! I have gained some weight since my kids came along and I used to be a very heavy lady way before that in my teens...SO, Maybe I'm lumpy in the wrong places but I get asked if I'm pregnant or when's your baby due probally every couple of months. What a way to ruin your day, especially if I thought I looked cute in a new outfit or something.
SO, This is the dumbest question ANYONE could ever ask...if it's not beyond obvious that someone is pregnant you don't say a thing.... It might just be your last words!
One lady who asked me this was a client in our office. She asked when she first came in and was mortified when I answered, "Nope, just fat!" She slinked past to another co-worker's desk and on her way out apologized and I replied, "Oh that ok, we all need a big slice of humble pie once in a while!" :P
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Old 10-03-2012, 01:21 PM   #48
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Arch Hoagland View Post
I owned a computer store and a lady called me one day and said:

"Arch, there is smoke coming out of my computer. Do you think I should turn it off."
My tech-savy daughter calls that "letting all the magic smoke out". Without the magic smoke it will never work again.
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Old 10-03-2012, 01:32 PM   #49
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My tech-savy daughter calls that "letting all the magic smoke out". Without the magic smoke it will never work again.
It is important when the smoke escapes to send it back to China so it can be repacked with smoke.

Simple electronics.
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Old 10-03-2012, 01:34 PM   #50
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I get asked often, 'How are you today', and I almost always answer, 'I am fantastic, but I will get better'. The look on some peoples faces is priceless.

Reg
And I reply, "I'm doing great, but it'll get worse."
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Old 10-03-2012, 01:40 PM   #51
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Arch Hoagland View Post
I owned a computer store and a lady called me one day and said:

"Arch, there is smoke coming out of my computer. Do you think I should turn it off."
In my working life, one of the hats I wore included being responsible for a technical support call center... when such things existed in this country.

Some of the questions the agents got were out of this world.

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Old 10-03-2012, 01:54 PM   #52
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In a small town in rural north Central Florida, a young clerk in a convenience store / gas station told me I "speak funny" and asked where I was from.

I replied "Toronto Canada".

She replied she'd just moved there from a small town in Mississippi and that was why she didn't recognize my accent, she'd never met anyone from Canada before. She then went on to say she'd heard that most folks in Canada traveled by dog sled, was that true?

I replied it was, but I had (pointing out the window at my m/h) a motorhome for coming to Florida, the dogs couldn't run that far.

Just at that point my DW came walking back to the m/h having 'dewatered' the fur kids.

She pointed at my 2 Jack Russell's the DW was walking and exclaimed "Those dogs pull an Eskimo sled?".

I just replied "Oh yes, I don't live very far from town." and walked out.

I swear she's still thinking about that one.

I know the DW and I are still giggling over it.
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Old 10-03-2012, 05:22 PM   #53
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One time, as I was running my V8 sand rail up a steep hill at the dunes, a guy new to our group, commented to his friend: "That's pretty fast for a 4 cylinder." I turned around and came down and he then said to his friend: "Oh, look, it's got 4 more cylinders on the other side." That still brings a laugh at the campfire almost every trip.
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Old 10-03-2012, 05:24 PM   #54
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Was he DEAF?

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Old 10-03-2012, 05:31 PM   #55
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When there's a bunch of rails, jeeps, bikes and who know what running up and down the hill, it's hard to hear a single vehicle. It was also this guys first time at the dunes.
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Old 10-03-2012, 05:33 PM   #56
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Gotcha. I gotta take that in some day.
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